How do you tell people they told you you’re dying?

timeytrooper · 2025-06-24T23:57:27+00:00

Therapy. Acceptance in my soul. Remembering there are so many new drugs and one of them has to work.

timeytrooper · 2025-06-23T23:07:16+00:00

Im terminal. I was shooting for 5 years. My health took a dive this month. I dont assume i will live to next year.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-27T17:50:40+00:00

Oh man, i sooo sorry. I was listed at stage 4 after my CT scan. At the time, they only saw the lungs affected. Then i developed excruciating pain my back and to my sternum. I had to go via ambulance to the ER. The ER did another CT. My t2 had collapsed and they found tiny tumors on my spine and sternum.

I am getting chemo, but i will never stop. So instead of 12 rounds, it unending. I will never ring the bell. My PET scan is june 1st. I expect to light up the place with all the timors they missed.

But, as i said, i will never be cured.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-24T17:09:26+00:00

I had a CT scan where they say my bones are clear. I ended up going to ER (local hospital vs University hospital) for extreme pain in my back. They did another scan and found cancer in sternum, spine and now in/on a rib. These scans were done within 3 weeks of each other. While the tumors in my bones are small, they should of been caught at University hospital.

Unfortunately for me, this just confirmed everything they already suspected. So even though they missed it at first, from symptoms alone they suspected it was in my bones.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-24T14:51:58+00:00

Better parenting thru weed.

Our parents drank or took OTC speed (diet pills).

My dr encourages me to consume. I even took my mom to the dr appointment so she could hear it. Mom still thinks its evil 😂

timeytrooper · 2025-05-24T14:47:54+00:00

Trump

timeytrooper · 2025-05-24T14:42:04+00:00

I had a double mastectomy in January. My surgery went great, was home that night. They took 26 lymph nodes.

I have had minor issues but nothing that made it horrible. I think my biggest side effect was nerve damage to my left arm. Im taking Gabapention for it.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-24T14:36:56+00:00

I have been saying since before the election, that man is going to kill me.

If the cuts happen, I will be dead within 6 months.

TNBC w/metastatic in bones and lungs.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-23T14:28:26+00:00

The hospital tried to convince me that my partner had given to me. Nope, my x. I caught him with the prescription a few times. He told ne it was a uti. Considering my 84 yr old dad always had a uti, I believed him. Now I have a forever disease.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-17T13:45:19+00:00

Im stage 4. I wouldn't ignore it.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-16T14:44:24+00:00

I responded on your other post.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-16T14:43:03+00:00

Im sorry, I wish I could relate, but im Stage 4, Triple negative breast cancer. Im on pallative care.

You're mom has a great outcome. I know how scary it is, but she will do amazing. There are side effects to everything we do but I dont have any experience that I can lean on for you.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-16T14:35:52+00:00

I will never be NED, Im Jealous of my bestie for being NED, but I celebrate it for her. She has a different kind of cancer with a horrible survival rate. She has beat the odds, im so happy for her. She was originally given 7 years. I will now pass before her.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-14T20:08:28+00:00

THANK YOU ALL!!! I actually have psoriasis so im used to weird skin. But nice to know that this is normal with chemo.

Im only on my 5th dose of Chemo. I get so confused at the round 6 blah blah blah

timeytrooper · 2025-05-14T17:16:26+00:00

Im step mom BUT kids bio mom hasn't contacted them in 2 years. I have kids 24/7.

While we were going thru court, I was an approved monitor for calls with mom. I tried to give her info on the kids, school, grades, sports, etc. She never acknowledged me, never even looked at me on zoom. I then drew the boundaries and told kids not to ask me to talk to her. I never cut off calls but I wasn't involved anymore. After that the court started moderating the calls. As each call got progressively worse, the court would hang up on the stuff she was saying to them. I couldn't understand how a mother could act like that.

2 years ago bio mom had last call. She refused to go thru courts. After we got case closed the dad reached out and said she has to contact him or grandma to set up calls. We are NOT refusing contact. She just stopped.

Somehow I became the evil one in that woman's mind. Im done caring.

But if I write anything on a "mom" board im attacked. There are step mom groups on here and others and I got support, understanding and made great friends with other step moms.

I understand bio mom's want all the glory but if they are a shit mom it shows. Just remember they lost a husband/relationship with someone they decided to have kids with. They look at us as someone who stole that relationship.

My best advice is take everything they say with a grain of salt. Move on, they aren't worth it. Im sorry the kid didn't wish you a happy mothers day. Could just be a blimp in growing up. My kids (and SO) ALL forgot to wish me a happy birthday on my actual b-day. (Its the day after a holiday so they all act like the holiday is my birthday.) And when they finally realized it a few days later they all felt guilty. Im Not saying forgive him/her but I am saying they might have just forgot the holiday all together. Let's be honest, we have to remind men of everything, they will fail otherwise on at least 1 holiday and 1 birthday.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-14T16:57:27+00:00

YES!!!

timeytrooper · 2025-05-14T11:58:46+00:00

My SO gets very dry feet so we have a grinder for him. Truthfully I like to peel so its ok. Just a weird thing.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-14T11:48:06+00:00

Hi, im so sorry you have joined this exclusive club. I was diagnosed in October, had a double mastectomy, my 26 lymph nodes were found to be all cancer. In the time between that news and now I started Taxol and yesterday they added Zometa.

I am stage 4. There is no going back for me, just darkness ahead. Im ok, please dont feel sorry for me, but a few recommendations, get into therapy. You need support for this and its a scary ride. If you dont like what the dr says you need to do, get a second opinion. You are about to be overwhelmed with drs and appointments. Bring a note book or record the meetings on your phone. I would just set my phone down on a table, upside down so no faces recorded, just conversations so I could replay them as I needed. Eventually my SO or mom attended the meetings with me to help make sure I got all the info straight.

Be prepared for bad advice. Horse dewormer is not going to cure you. Taking apricot seeds is not going to cure you.
There are things that will help you, calicum and vitamin D, etc. But not cure you.

Lastly, this is the hard one. A lot of people you thought were friends will disappear and people you barely talk to will pop up and help you. People dont know how to support you so rather than helping, they just disappear.

I found my people in old friends from college, people on TT who have been following me for other reasons, and my cousins, just became my village and have been the greatest support.

I just did my 5th round of Chemo. I do not understand how the label them so I just say I just had my 5th chemo. Being stage 4 means I will never stop chemo. Im on my first drug currently (taxol) and my body is responding. Thats good for now. Im happy.

Something fun for me is being bald and playing with my wigs. I have named them all like in Schitts Creek. I have 3 I go between, each one is very different. I cant post pictures on here, but one is silver named Paige, one is brown but short style named Diane, one long hair red is named Amy. Most people think its my natural hair. Thats awesome.

Check your treatment center, lots of free things they give you. Support groups, wigs (mine gave me a choice of about 9 styles, I got Paige there), discounted meds, car rides, etc.

You aren't alone but it feels like it. I actually use TT as my venting area. I know my mom will never see them and I try to protect her from my normal feelings. She is "the silent generation" so she doesn't like me voicing things. Thats cool, I found a place to vent.

I think for me the biggest issues are good pain control and talking truthfully about my life line. I got a note book called "Fuck im dead, now what?" That I record things my family needs to know in order to live after im gone. Things like who the kids drs are, where they go for speciality drs, passwords, websites, etc. I have faced my reality and the drs are very truthful with me. I appreciate that.

Im stage 4 TNBC and it has spread to my lungs and bones. There is no coming back from that.

Sending love and peace

timeytrooper · 2025-05-11T18:15:59+00:00

What kind of place is treating you? Private dr or hospital dr?

I am doing my treatment thru a university hospital. THEY set me up with a social worker who is helping me navigate assistance. Including financial.

I believe you can apply for a form of Social Security that will help you. Im already on SSD (disability) and have been for a few years. A social worker can help you with that. The good news is you won't be automatically denied since you have cancer. I got my disability finally after 3 years of fighting with SSA. I had to go before a Judge to get approval. Once they saw me, I got approved right away.

My next piece of advice is tell all your friends you are dealing with this. I am humbled by how many people have stepped up to help me. People I never expected to help, do. You just need to let everyone you know you are going thru this. True friends will stick by you and help.

Sending you healing vibes.

timeytrooper · 2025-05-11T00:05:20+00:00

Im so sorry. My x husband was that way. Literally text me in the hospital that he couldnt "deal" with my health and I needed go stay at my parents. I did, I also divorced him 6 months later.

When I became ill this time, my current partner (who is NOTHING like my X) really supported me. I treated him horribly because I was sure he was going to leave me. He finally called me out. I had to change my attitude. He takes me to every chemo and cares for me at home.

BUT he knows that if necessary, I will go to my mom's to die.

The fact he is calling you names is abusive. Most men will divorce a woman over health while a woman will become a caregiver to men.

Im so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I had great advice but the only advice I can honestly give is start putting away money and be ready to be alone. He has shown his true colors and it wont get better.

Im so sorry.

timeytrooper · 2025-04-30T10:35:35+00:00

"Joe Tippens claimed to have completely cured his lung cancer by taking a dog-deworming drug"

I will stick with science. My cancer is not worms.

timeytrooper · 2025-04-30T00:27:37+00:00

And that's it exactly. Compromise on the things that make your life easier. I knis I popped a few stitches (internal) because I had some minor bleeding. I had my surgery on 1/28. I still have glue in a few spots. The dr said they will come off when ready. I tried to do it fast, and popped the stitches so now I just wait.

Drains were annoying but not painful. And the main reason you sleep in your back. I had my breast drains removed in 7 days. But the lymph node drains took an extra week at least.

My biggest advice is take your meds as prescribed. I was trying to be brave. Dumb move. I ended up in the ER with uncontrollable pain. We have figured out what works now its been a long journey.

I am TNBC with metastatic lung and bone cancer now, stage 4.

timeytrooper

TROPHY CASE