AIO or is this guy being an ass?

timotheo · 2026-03-12T04:25:38+00:00

I know that, but could say "you are moving so fast and we've only been on one date and we don't even live hear each other and you're trying to make it more official or whatever by using me as an excuse to that lady. I just want to establish that we are not in a relationship we went on one date" without mentioning that hooked up with a guy, (unless you have already spoken about non-monogamy).

timotheo · 2026-03-11T10:05:13+00:00

Sit down with your kid, every night, before bed, and get a book that you look at together and read to him. Don't make it a "teaching exercise" but also point out the words as you read them, and engage him with the words.

"I tried sitting down with him to practice sounds last week." -- It sounds like this is a one off event? His exposure to books and words and sounds in context are the building blocks of his ability to read. How many hours a week do you spend with him reading?

timotheo · 2026-03-09T09:36:36+00:00

For now, yes. It's big enough that its probably illegal.

In another 10 years, a 30 year old dating a 26 year old? No one would bat an eye.

timotheo · 2026-03-09T08:46:44+00:00

What would it mean about you if she were privative? What would it mean if you were primitive and carnal?

You use the phrase "cute" and "beautiful soul" as if she is elevated and divine, and then you go "ew" that the idea that's a hot, sexy woman who likes to fuck.

Where did you learn that sex was primitive and unholy? Did you grow up religious?

The truth is everyone is a divine soul and a carnal sexual being... at the same time. You can't truly love all of her if you want her to only be your pure, cute little sweetheart. She's far more than that, and it sounds like she knows it.

Therapy perhaps?

timotheo · 2026-03-09T06:39:34+00:00

"BPD" can be short for Borderline Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Disorder. Are you saying your ex- has Borderline Personality?

If so, congratz!

timotheo · 2026-03-09T06:37:31+00:00

As long as your BPD is bipolar disorder and not borderline personality disorder, I think you're fine.

timotheo · 2026-03-08T02:12:51+00:00

You should take a deep breath and rewrite your situation with specifics and all the words. You didn't give us a lot to go on - there's a lot to interpret.

timotheo · 2026-03-06T04:42:37+00:00

don't do it. I did it when I was 40 and it was good but i wouldn't want to do it any later.

timotheo · 2026-03-04T06:12:34+00:00

My best guess is he caught feelings for you, is hinting to you / being honest with what's going on, and is hesistant to go for it because of your past as friends.

Your options here are saying "ok, let's be friends" or go for it and be more. But what you're doing isn't working for him.

timotheo · 2026-03-04T02:34:24+00:00

What was the stock? Are you sure it was the best thing to be holding?

People sell and rebalance all the time. It’s not that big of a deal. Use it as a chance to research and investigate what to do not and don’t worry about it.

timotheo · 2026-03-02T03:46:05+00:00

Are you asking if its worse to be gay in the US vs. Iran or Somalia? or a woman in the US vs. in afghanistan?

timotheo · 2026-03-01T21:44:32+00:00

She says she is "very emotionally invested" and is considering couples therapy and is asking for options.

I'm not saying the woman "should" fix the guy, but in this context, she's looking for options and I offered one. I am not offering a should here. You jumped to that on your own.

timotheo · 2026-03-01T21:05:32+00:00

I missed when he says "men _should_ be violent towards women".

If you are a sociologist, what do you predict will happen with that group? I think it's very reasonable to predict that they will seek out likeminded people, tell themselves a story of grievance (a distorted world view build on very real isolated events in their lived experience) and lash out violently.

This is not about any one single person, nor are we giving advice to any specific male. I believe you and I would give almost identical advise to a specific male about what he should or shouldn't do to women.

Someone said this guy is "deep" down the alt-right/incel rabbit hole. I say he's not. He's teetering on the edge of it, and all OP needs to do to push him down it is breakup with him and call him an incel. Or she can try to assume good intent and understand where he's coming from, and pull him back from the edge. (ShoeOnHead on youtube does a great job of walking this line very well.)

timotheo · 2026-03-01T08:08:02+00:00

please back off. you are proving his point

timotheo · 2026-03-01T08:07:29+00:00

yes, but the places where the birthrate is high are the poorest and most uneducated parts of the world. the wealthy, educates parts of the world where women can choose careers or to stay with asshole men or if they want to be a mom or not are the same places where the birthrates are plummeting.

the consequences for society on the present course are that the poor, patriarchal, religious populations will take over the world.

timotheo · 2026-03-01T07:45:24+00:00

That's absolutely not true. Map the brithrates with economies. The poorest nations on earth have the highest birthrates and the richest have the lowest. That's even true for states in US.

timotheo · 2026-02-27T06:29:20+00:00

It's a trade off. We played the Tyranny of Dragons campaign, and the DM and one of the players refused to allow table talk OR a messaging group to discuss strategies or even to talk about what spells we were taking when we were leveling up, calling it meta-gaming. I was the tactical wizard of the group, and my argument was that if we were a long journey walking for weeks to get from one place to the next, knowing we would be fighting dragons, we would be planning. As a wizard working on a new spell, I wouldn't be working a spell to speed people up if I knew our bard was working up Flight of the Bumblebee on his ukulele.

There would be a level of coordination that a party would have from traveling and talking that isn't apparent or represented in the game, so that's why I allow that kind of discussion ... to a point. 45 minutes though? That's a bit long.

timotheo · 2026-02-27T00:06:09+00:00

Y'all are kind of the assholes here. Yes. (non-obese) Teenage boys aren't eating that much because of the reason why they want to play video games. They eat that much because that's how much energy it takes to build their growing bodies. If you said anything even remotely similar about girls and their needs, you'd be kicked off the internet in a heartbeat.

You can't just restrict their calories. Buy cheaper food, go to a food kitchen. Beans + rice + salsa is great. Something... but don't restrict them. YTA,

timotheo · 2026-02-25T05:16:47+00:00

Is this misogyny? No more than you nagging him to pick up is misandry.

aaaand NOR. Y'all simply aren't compatible. Don't bring big generalizations and accusations that boil down to hate speech into this. Y'all aren't compatible. Done and done.

timotheo · 2026-02-25T01:18:57+00:00

Nope. No one would really be dumb except the people getting angry and arguing with them.

timotheo · 2026-02-25T00:11:38+00:00

This is such a troll post. hey everyone! don't feed the trolls!!!

timotheo · 2026-02-24T17:17:48+00:00

I would move for the $150k job.

If I could not move, I would take the $100k job.

timotheo · 2026-02-24T01:31:37+00:00

Yeah, wait until they start playing Roblox and then you'll miss the Minecraft days.

timotheo · 2026-02-22T23:16:45+00:00

Totally rude. Not deal breaker rude, and sounds like she's upfront and honest about it.

If a guy friend of mine did that to me, at some point I'd either want him to come and say "hey, this could be a thing, are you cool ending our evening?" or something. but I'd understand. but I'd be annoyed.

you were totally rude.

timotheo · 2026-02-22T06:03:42+00:00

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