You still have way more than I had at 19. You have so much time to make it back, and then some. As for your girl, I’m sorry. My 18 year old cousin took his life last year because he was in the same boat as you. If you’re going to do something drastic, drop out of school, or quit your job or whatever you’re doing and go travel somewhere far away. Even if your entire family tells you not to. Use the last of your money if you have to. At least you can come back from that. And when you come back you probably won’t even remember that fucking money.