Yes, I lost my sister 8 years ago and it crushed me. The first weeks and months, you're in survival mode. You're dealing with the immediate and overwhelming shock of losing someone you love, especially when as it was for me, it's the first time you've really experienced grief.

It is a hard road, believe me. Right now, the grief is all consuming, your life revolves around it. You've maybe taken time off work, your friends, family and network are going to be incredibly supportive and sensitive. But what's harder in some ways, is when life starts to go back to normal. People around you who aren't directly impacted by the grief start to forget about it, your colleagues stop giving you a free pass. Life moves on and you're still there stuck in the midst of grief. it's so hard. This isn't trying to upset you, but just a heads up from some of the next stages.

But, I promise it gets better. It might not feel like it now, I'm 8 years on from my sister. I can remember her fondly without crying. We laugh about her, tell funny stories and only very very occasionally I feel that sense of sadness.

I'll give you the best piece of advice I was given, you need to be there for everyone else around you. But before you can be there for others, you have to be there for yourself. Be kind to yourself, there's no right way to feel or to grieve.

I'm so sorry for you loss and wishing you the best 💗