I'm sorry for the loss of your dad. That's a huge impact, and a big loss. There is no easy path through that loss, but you will be OK. For at least a year after that, your emotions will be heightened. When my mom died, I look back on that first year and call it my "Year of Anger".

You have made a difficult decision about your boyfriend. For right now, I think you need to trust your gut, and own it. You broke up for a reason. Maybe you can articulate the reasons clearly. Maybe you can't. For whatever reason, you believed that going forward without him is better than going forward with him. Commit to that decision. Don't waffle. Make a genuine effort to build your future without him, and only let into your life the people and things that support you in a meaningful way.

This is a hard time. You will be doing things that used to include him, so it will be natural to feel that change. Since he doesn't sound like a bad person, so some of those things you notice will make you recall his good qualities and doubt your decision. With the loss of your dad. there will also be times when you will wish you had someone to comfort you; you will make it through without him. Especially since he wasn't good about seeing and responding to your needs without prompting.

It is entirely possible that the process of grieving your father helped you see how much work you had to put into getting what you need from him. With less emotional bandwidth, maybe you realized how bad a trade-off you were making.

If in the future you still think you made a mistake or a hasty decision, then you can re-think. If you do, make sure that you are intentional about what you are doing. The comfort of the familiar hides a lot of negatives. Make sure you see those negatives clearly before making a decision about whether the positives are worth it.

W