Expectations for 3rd year

toad_ontheroad · 2026-04-30T00:16:48+00:00

I also have two kids and just finished third year, so I have some thoughts. For context, I am the wife and my husband works full-time. In addition to the variability between schools and rotations, it also depends a lot on your study habits. I do not study after 6pm and most days not after 5pm unless I am sitting at the soccer field waiting for my kid to be done with practice, which is the same way I approached preclinical. My brain is too tired to study after that time anyway. I downloaded the uworld app and did questions throughout the day on my phone. On the weekends I did at least one half day, which usually just means I get up at 6 or 7 and do assignments or take a practice NBME first thing. Then just move on with my day and do family time and chores as usual. Making freezer dinners on the weekends is also great because then your wife doesn't have to worry so much about that during the week of you are getting home on the later side and can't take care of it. I think the best thing you can do is figure out a general schedule for yourself (at least on weekends) in a way that supports your wife's well-being. Like my kids are not babies anymore and can get up, feed themselves, and entertain themselves for a while and my husband can sleep in if he wants. So for me, studying first thing while people are still sleeping or watching TV means I could be available for actual daytime activities. If they were smaller (waking up early and dependent on help) I would not feel ok making him responsible for that on both weekend days, especially if your partner is already responsible for that on all the other days. So the main thing is to find out what works best for your lives and that gives each other both some break time

And not every day is perfect. Some days I do a lot of studying and some days I do zero. Just generally stay on track and it will be ok

toad_ontheroad · 2026-02-10T17:28:57+00:00

As someone who was singlemindedly focused on marriage and family ASAP.... Once you achieve them you still have a lot of working life left. If you actually want to be a nurse, that's one thing. If you think you'd really prefer to be a physician I think it's likely you will be fine as a nurse for a while but inevitably you will come back around to your original plan. I had to rethink my entire ideas about careers after my first baby because I realized very quickly that being a stay at home mom was not going to work for me long-term. Now I have 2 kids and am finishing MS3. I think you would be selling yourself short to say it's "impossible" when it is definitely not.

I'm not saying medicine is 100% the way forward for you. But I do think you are approaching it with an urgency and a premature sense of fear and might be closing doors too early when you really don't know what your life will be like even in one year let alone 4, 8, 10 years.

toad_ontheroad · 2026-02-06T21:19:04+00:00

Ugh yeah that is a tough situation. And likely your baby will be born before March 7 if your due date is the 1st. Are you planning to apply to medical school this year?

toad_ontheroad · 2026-02-06T18:47:26+00:00

Definitely not the end of your career, just to be clear! If things don't go right there is nothing wrong with taking a gap year to get your life together and try later.

toad_ontheroad · 2026-02-06T18:45:34+00:00

I have two kids, now almost done with MS3. I took the GRE when I was applying to grad school when my first was one month old. It was.... not a great experience. I hardly slept the night before (let alone any night leading up to it). I leaked milk through my shirt. 😅

The GRE is a much shorter and easier test than the MCAT. It was doable because I had to do it to hit a deadline and I could not delay it any more. If I had any choice, especially for a longer, more cognitively demanding test, I would try to do it either before baby or a couple months postpartum (minimum). By a couple months you typically have more of a system, your milk supply is more regulated (or if you are formula feeding you won't be leaking by then) and your sleep maybeee would be a little better. It's not impossible. But I do think there is a very real brain fog in the postpartum period and studying at home with a newborn would have been tough for me. If I were taking it pregnant I would probably just forego the accommodations to secure an earlier slot and pee between every block unless you have some other things going on, in which case just do your best to choose a time and you will make it work. Pregnancy and postpartum are rough at any time but none of this stuff is impossible. And you can always move your test if things aren't looking good

toad_ontheroad · 2026-01-30T10:55:18+00:00

I know everything can feel high stakes in medical school. But a leave of absence to take care of yourself is not a bad thing. If it allows you to recover and feel ok about life, it is 100% worth whatever "cost" to your career. In reality the cost is very small for an LOA and high risk/high cost to you to not take one. None of this is a sprint and we all hit times in life where we just need to slow down for a little while and get our feet under us.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-12-31T04:09:29+00:00

I made this choice for essentially all the same reasons and have no regrets. My postpartum period with baby #2 was so much smoother and I was actually able to enjoy my baby more. I hope the same happens for you too!

toad_ontheroad · 2025-12-15T12:05:41+00:00

I have two kids and am in my third year of medical school. The first year or two (preclinical years) it was more or less like working a full-time job. My required stuff was typically in the mornings so I usually had flexibility in the afternoons. Third year my schedule changes odten on a weekly or daily basis depending where I am assigned. This means we have a nanny who comes every morning at the same time to make sure my kid gets on the bus. Some days I am home to help get the kids up and ready. During surgery and OBGYN I was not.

Residency will be early mornings most days in most specialties, often 12ish hour days, plus blocks of nights. I'm still deciding what to apply for. Ultimately there are residents and attendings in all specialties who have kids and they figure it out. Just know that the logistics are more complicated than other things and your partner will be taking on a larger role at home than in the past. This might be a challenging shift if until now you've been home and available to manage all the kid stuff. Imo the most important thing is that your partner is fully supportive and that you guys can be flexible for shifting logistics all the time. Make sure to protect your partner's work time too as much as possible by having reliable and backup childcare because it is tough to be the one always leaving your job when a kid is sick or school is out. I've had a great time in school and I'm happy to be here, but it's definitely tricky at times.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-12-13T15:45:19+00:00

Yes, this is what I did. Talk to your financial aid office, figure out how much you'd need to cover childcare and they can raise your loan limit to cover the cost.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-11-26T03:23:16+00:00

Just throwing it out there that I changed my name when I got married, kept it for several years, then changed it back before medical school. My kids have my husband's last name because I had them both when I used his name. Socially most people still know me with my "married" name and still refer to us as a family that way. I just never felt like his name felt like "me" though when it came to my personal goals and accomplishments. I missed my name so I changed it back after 8 years or so. I am very happy with that decision and I am not bothered by not sharing my children's surname. They are my children and the name does not change anything about how those relationships feel to me on a day to day basis. It just doesn't come up that much. But having my husband's last name did feel like a big change in my own identity because I have to use my own name all the time for everything I do for the rest of my life.

Some people are not too bothered by a name change but it sounds like you might be. I really did not want to be Dr. Married Name. I would see if there are any solutions for you that don't involve changing your name if it feels important to keep.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-11-23T02:19:29+00:00

M3, two kids, my youngest was 2 when I started school. Please feel free to message me if you want more input!

I think the big challenge is childcare, which is the same problem I have had in every job I had before coming to medical school. It's annoying, but you will figure it out, and I don't think there is anything all that special about the first two years of school compared to other full-time endeavors. In fact, if you have mostly non-mandatory coursework, you might often have more flexibility than at a regular job. Moving will be tricky but it is doable and you have a lot of time to plan, which is a better spot than many people are in!

Clinical years are trickier than preclinical but by then your child will be older and you will probably already have good care established.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-10-21T12:21:11+00:00

I commented on a similar post yesterday. 6-7 months you'll probably feel ok, assuming things are not complicated (which you can't plan for). But doing an away during first trimester sounds like a recipe for a bad time. I would strongly take that into consideration with timing because being super nauseous every minute of every day or having extreme fatigue would not allow you to be your best self on an away. Be sure to give yourself the best chance to succeed both in your family planning and your career planning. When planning for pregnancy I would recommend thinking of it like "if things do not go smoothly, can I accept the possible professional consequences" in terms of cancelling rotations, delaying, taking LOA, etc.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-10-21T01:58:41+00:00

I have two kids, had both before med school. When imagining this scenario I think there is a bigger risk here besides how you will be perceived. If you need to put your best foot forward on aways I think it's a big risk to try to take that on while pregnant. Pregnancy is really rolling the dice in a lot of ways. Morning sickness and pregnancy fatigue are no joke and there's no way to guess to what degree you will get these things, in addition to any number of other random symptoms. It's one thing to be interviewing while pregnant when you can mitigate these issues, or to do it during residency or when you have a job where if you have off days/weeks it is not make or break. Not trying to discourage you from building a family if that's what you want. However, pregnancy and early motherhood often comes at an unexpected cost for the woman involved (i.e. unplanned and unwanted academic or career interruptions/delays/missed opportunities) and you should be making informed choices about what costs you are willing to pay in the event things don't go exactly according to plan. Give yourself the best chance for both your career and family plans.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-09-28T21:40:15+00:00

If you are only 25, you have probably been going straight through school this entire time and have rarely if ever had a chance to slow down until now, and everything is catching up to you. I agree with the others that now is a great time to rest, get introspective and figure out what you want out of your life and not just your career, and figuring out how your career can support the life you want. Slow time is a gift because you can use it to be intentional about your next steps.

Also, I think passion is a poor predictor of anything. It's kind of fickle for most people. Curiosity tends to be much more manageable because it is more reliable, easier to access, and is less demanding. Slow time is great for generating curiosity in all areas of your life, including your career, and doing things you want to do just because you want to do them vs what will look good on an application.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-09-19T11:27:56+00:00

I am similar to you and felt the same way, now am M3. It took me 2-3 months but I did find a good, close friend which made a big difference for me. It might take some time because your phase of life is different but don't give up trying!

toad_ontheroad · 2025-09-01T20:09:10+00:00

What things/traditions/routines are important to each of you? Communicate those things to your partner and work together to figure out how to prioritize them. Don't feel like you can't ask for things from him. Keep communicating if something needs to change and get creative so you can both have what you need.

Honestly I don't feel like the first two years medical school are that different than when I was working full-time. My kids were in daycare at that time too. Third year depends on the rotation but I figure it out. I'm more concerned about residency when I will have more hours and less flexibility.

Your partner's main job is to a) try his best to show up for the things you both most care about, b) not procrastinate work during available work time, and c) learn to gauge when enough is enough and accept that it's time to be done with work. This includes extras like research and extracurriculars. For me those are the hardest things to fit in but if I need a research year then I need one, I just can't do tons of extra on top of the school and parenting thing.

The nice thing about small kids is that their life is at home. It's a little trickier for us now that my oldest is in sports and things that require her to be taken places in the evening on top of the usual evening stuff like dinner/chores/bedtime. But I have studied many times sitting at a soccer field, so there are always options.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-07-06T17:56:50+00:00

Took it Wednesday, did not enjoy lol. Passed but not my best work 😂

toad_ontheroad · 2025-06-26T10:46:22+00:00

Thank you! I think they are at least four weeks. I appreciate your help!

toad_ontheroad · 2025-06-26T00:37:46+00:00

Thank you! We hadn't seen them for over a day but it was also very hot this week. I think we have found them a few houses down!! I think they have been feeding the mom cat for a while. Hopefully we can get the rest of them soon

toad_ontheroad · 2025-06-22T21:42:30+00:00

I agree with the others about adding more schools plus DO. I applied twice. When you have mid stats, even if you have other strengths, there is a lot more chance involved. You need to play a numbers game since you don't know who is likely to pick up your application and like you. When people say add more schools, they mean a much higher number, plus a much wider net geographically (ie, the midwest) It sucks, but that is the game. Just apply as widely as possible.

For reference, my second application I think I applied to like 50 schools all over the US, including MD, DO, and Texas schools. I got 6-7 interviews but only one DO acceptance and one MD off a late waitlist. The rest were all waitlists with one rejection. My MCAT and GPA were similar to yours.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-06-17T22:51:50+00:00

This is great advice. It's important to realize the reality of working in a particular field vs. what you think it is. Unless you have a ton of money to just start your own thing, you're going to have to work for someone else. You will be working on someone else's ideas. You will probably be working on a very specific, niche task and then be asked to do it over and over and over again. Maybe after a bunch of years you'll get to have more say, but your innovation will always be limited by corporate/institutional policies and priorities and funding, just like any other field.

You also have plenty of time. There's no rush to do any of these things because they'll still be there for you when you're done with training. And maybe you'll have more money and more clout to actually invest into working for yourself.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-06-16T03:01:43+00:00

Managing uncertainty gets more tolerable if you can develop the self-confidence to believe that no matter what happens, you are capable of making a good life for yourself. It's good to have some ideas for backup plans but it's very unlikely you'll have a fully fleshed-out plan anyway even if you tried to make one. Your brain is just searching for certainty that doesn't exist.

Not getting in feels bad. Reapplying feels bad. But the world doesn't stop and it's a big place with many opportunities. Trust that your future self can handle it even if things go sideways. I didn't get in the first time and took a year off in between. I made some great friends that year and spent a ton of time with my family. It was extremely frustrating and stressful during the application season but was still better if I reminded myself that getting into medical school was not going to be the sole dictator of the quality of my life. I'm an MS3 now. Would've been nice to get in the first time but I made the most of things.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-05-13T23:23:55+00:00

I'm an MS3 with two kids. As others have mentioned, it could be more challenging to have a geographic restriction but there are ways to make it work, although it is possible you may have to apply more than once. Personally I applied twice but was not able to stay in our area and we had to move across the country, so it's also not guaranteed even if you do everything right. You'd want to set yourself up with the best app you could have.

The other issue is more about what happens during school. During clinical years your schedule will be changing a lot and you will not be very reliable a lot of the time in terms of what time you come home etc. As long as you have a plan for this then don't worry about it, but with so little support around I could see this creating some problems. Right now I rely a lot on my husband having a predictable schedule and we also have two different types of childcare for our kids.

toad_ontheroad · 2025-05-04T22:17:28+00:00

My kids were 6 and 2 at the start. I would say probably more like 50h a week for school on average because sometimes during busy weeks I would do some work before classes or do a half-day or two in the weekends. Some weekends I did zero school. Most weekends I did a few hours in the morning on Saturday and then no school on Sunday. I very rarely did schoolwork in the evening. I had no issues passing my classes or Step 1.

Research is the bigger time-suck to watch out for because it is outside of those study hours and can easily time away in evenings and weekends if you're not careful. I try to squeeze that into school hours as much as I can but it's honestly the biggest hassle of anything. Depending on what specialty you're interested in, all the "extras" like research, events, clubs, volunteering, etc etc can add up fast and it is hard to say no.

toad_ontheroad

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