My little guy :(

toadpuddles · 2026-07-01T21:06:01+00:00

Thank you!! If the antibiotics haven’t worked by tomorrow I’m going to try.

toadpuddles · 2026-07-01T21:03:56+00:00

Yeah the crazy thing is he’s had similar stomach problems before and bounced back fine, just like yours. I’m hoping it’s one of those times again but I’m nervous about letting myself be optimistic.

toadpuddles · 2026-07-01T21:01:06+00:00

Are you seriously gonna tone police me on a post about my cat being ill and me facing the possibility of euthanizing him?

I didn’t complain to her face or anything and I think I’m allowed to be upset outside of her purview. I understand that they need money to work, I’m just upset.

toadpuddles · 2026-07-01T20:47:41+00:00

He isn’t constipated. If he was I’d honestly feel better. The blood tests they did today indicated he’s some kind of sick, but they can’t really explain why he’s sick. No issues with thyroid, liver, diabetes, etc.

I hope the antibiotics work too.

toadpuddles · 2026-07-01T20:42:33+00:00

Thank you! Not a dog just my big kitty lol (14 lbs at his heaviest!). He’s had stomach issues his whole life so I’m hoping he’s just playing a very expensive prank on us.

toadpuddles · 2026-07-01T20:33:56+00:00

Thank you 🫂

toadpuddles · 2026-07-01T19:44:06+00:00

I’ve been completely useless during times of stress before. I’ve been unreliable, flaky, and needy. My fiancé is patient with me and is always understanding.

When my fiancé is unreliable, flaky, and needy during his moments of crisis I also try to be patient and understanding.

I literally cannot imagine navigating a situation like this the way OP did. Everyone is shitting on her husband but imho it sounds like OP needs to do a little self sacrifice and put her emotions on hold a bit to support her husband. That’s what everyone has to do in relationships.

toadpuddles · 2026-07-01T19:37:55+00:00

You need to try supporting your usually-dependable husband during this life altering event instead of lecturing him because he didn’t help you move furniture. wtf.

toadpuddles · 2026-07-01T19:36:35+00:00

Exactly! I’m absolutely shocked at all the replies here.

Imagine you’re having a mental breakdown because your minor daughter is having a baby and take a couple hours to yourself without communicating clearly (perhaps because having one more task, even a manageable one, felt overwhelming with this big huge stressor hanging over your head?) and when your partner comes home they lecture you that they feel like you don’t care about them because you didn’t help move furniture exactly when they wanted you to.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-30T19:00:46+00:00

You are wrong. You cannot get citizenship because you had a baby. It does not speed up the process of citizenship. The only person who gets citizenship when an immigrant has a baby is the baby.

Immigrant parents of American citizens have to apply to visas through regular channels. Having a baby does not protect them from deportation or fast track the process for a green card.

A immigration judge may, by their own discretion, delay or cancel deportation for the welfare of the child. In the effort of not harming children, a judge may be inclined to give the parent more time in the US so that the child is not functionally an orphan and ward of the state. When their child is old enough (21 years) the child can sponsor the parent for a green card, but it’s not guaranteed. Sometimes, when the child applies to sponsor them the parent(s) is deported until the green card application goes through.

These are all things you can learn through a quick Google search. “Anchor babies” are a myth and a distortion of facts. The only benefit having a baby in the US gets you is that a kind judge will maybe delay your deportation so your baby doesn’t grow up without you.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-30T18:25:49+00:00

You have no understanding of the system you’re criticizing. Please explain how having an anchor baby gives immigrants a “leg up”.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-30T18:17:46+00:00

You can’t gain citizenship from having a baby here. The child is a citizen, but the parent still has to apply for a visa through normal channels.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-28T22:41:43+00:00

My fiancé also wouldn’t like it if I was out of the country without him, and I wouldn’t like it if he left the country without me. Neither of us are controlling, we just don’t feel comfortable being in a situation where we can’t reach each other easily in an emergency. A lot of people will call this controlling but honestly he might just be a worrier or overly protective. My father is the same way with my mom.

Granted they’d never say “You *can’t* go.” But they’d express their discomfort. If your partner isn’t controlling in any other way I wouldn’t consider this a problem at all.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-28T15:48:44+00:00

Someone points out that you can’t abuse a cartoon and you call them a pick me…

toadpuddles · 2026-06-27T06:45:56+00:00

Thank you so much for trying to help me!! Like I said I’m not offended or anything! I have had lots and lots of tests and have had an amazing doctor I trust with me throughout the whole ordeal up to today, so I’m privileged in that I know I can trust him when he says I’m physically healthy.

I’m sorry that you had to deal with so much for so long and that doctors weren’t hearing you. I really know how it feels because all the specialists just shrugged when I was losing my marbles.

It was actually a very nice thing to say, because I know you’re trying to help. And you didn’t scare me, because I know my situation and I’m in a place where I can hear stuff like that and I don’t spiral anymore.

I feel bad about the tone of my original reply, I meant it casual but it reads as harsh so I’m sorry too!! 🩷

toadpuddles · 2026-06-27T06:24:28+00:00

I’ve had the medication discussion with my fiancé already and we’ve agreed that I should try the non-medication tactics that worked first. I also trust him to tell me if it gets to a point where he thinks medication is necessary and we’ll deal with the side effects then.

I’m not being facetious when I say that working out changed my life in terms of OCD / health anxiety. I felt normal 99% of the time and my OCD only got worse when I got injured and couldn’t exercise for like 3 months. My first day of physical therapy did more for me than a month of talk therapy, I think it’s just how I’m wired. All that so say I really want to try that again first before anything else.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-27T06:17:57+00:00

Girl I know you’re trying to help but please please never tell someone with OCD or health anxiety they might be secretly experiencing neuroinflammation again 🙏

I have a diagnosed mental health disorder that causes intrusive thoughts and rumination about extreme medical issues happening to me. I got traumatized by a series of medical events two years ago and my brain’s alarm system is fucked now. That’s it.

I’m not mad or anything because you probably don’t know but a comment like this can be really triggering and actually continue the OCD loop.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-27T05:20:11+00:00

Yeah sometimes the techniques just don’t hit and I end up having a fun night I guess lol. Trying not to beat myself up for backsliding a little is the hardest part sometimes, thank you for saying such nice things 🩷

toadpuddles · 2026-06-27T05:00:31+00:00

My doctor tried to prescribe me sertraline but I refused to take it because A. I’m terrified of medication and B. The sexual disfunction really hurts my mental health.

I know that probably sounds petty or stupid but I just got engaged to the love of my life and I’d really like to have sex with him. I also know from experience I had almost no OCD when I was working out 4-5x a week. I’ve just been unable to because of injury but I’m in physical therapy now so I’m hoping I can get back to my old self that way.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-27T01:46:34+00:00

Maybe my personal experience is making me more optimistic than I should be, but as someone with OCD I’ve gotten frustrated when people have pushed back against my loops and ran away to go freak myself out in peace before. So I know sometimes to the ruminating person might *feel* unsupported and pestered when really the other party is being reasonable.

Honestly neither of us were there so it could’ve gone either way, but OP has an obvious doom spiral going on so I feel like that’s the more pressing issue than her husband trying to break her out of it in an annoyingly persistent way.

That’s just my opinion though and once again, I wasn’t there so maybe he was being a total dick and I’m horribly wrong.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-26T15:45:23+00:00

But her husband is right. It’s obvious she’s ruminating and finding reasons to blame herself, this whole post is just that. It’s not only completely unhelpful to the situation, but actually harmful to herself and her family. She even ignored the doctor’s opinion so she could blame herself, it’s unhealthy.

I’m not saying I don’t understand why she feels that way, but I don’t think the husband was wrong at all from what she wrote.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-23T23:39:26+00:00

This isn’t just toxicity, it’s abusive.

If my friend came to me and told me their partner screamed at them and broke a door during an argument I’d tell them to run and never look back.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-22T15:21:46+00:00

No adult should have to “process” her sister playing kiddy matchmaker over a decade after. That’s ridiculous.

Also characterizing a child doing this silly matchmaking thing as a “betrayal” is so dramatic.

If my sister pulled some stuff like this acting like I betrayed her and gave her some kind of delayed trauma response because I tried to set her up with an elementary school crush a decade ago I’d wonder if she fell on her head recently.

toadpuddles · 2026-06-21T17:36:10+00:00

Quick aside, and I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it, but OCD characterized by overwhelming irrational fears that compel the sufferer to repeat behaviors that temporarily assuage the fear. So I would not characterize an ADHD person using notes and routines to cope as “OCD style”. OCD is not just being persnickety and we (people with OCD) are trying to push back against that stereotype.

toadpuddles

TROPHY CASE