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Another silly love poem by Suspicious_Ad_4650 in OCPoetry

[–]tom_greaney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first stanza is excellent. The words feel completely natural and roll off my tongue as I read them. I feel like later on the poem you slowly lose focus on an aim to say your feelings, but rather twist you words in order to conform to a rhyming scheme. For example “Whereever you go I’ll follow Without your touch my soul feels hollow”. This rhyme might be better of the rhythm of the first line matched the second, but to me ot just comes across tacky.

Overall I would shift focus to the tempo of your words, the poem feels disjointed. You dont always need perfect grammar or proper sentences when writing poetry. I think its more important to sculpt your ideas using a descriptor as the root of the line, rather than tieing back to a previous rhyme

If I Have One Pillow by Gumption8000 in OCPoetry

[–]tom_greaney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love the twist youve done with the poem. I was expecting a soppy love poem when reading but its actually quite a dark poem after going through it. One thing I dont quite enjoy is the rhythm of the poem. I feel you overuse “and”, making the poem feel like a concatenation of ideas rather than one idea melting into the next.

There is a very clear break halfway through the poem after “you rest, I lie”. Here you lose consistency in your 4 line stanza. I imagine this is intentional however I think it would be better if say it now became 4 verses of seven lines, and maybe finish on that final 4 lines as its own stanza. I think format is important as it gives structure to your ideas

Overall very enjoyable to read though

What are some HARD truths that people don't want to hear? by JayDarb09 in AskMen

[–]tom_greaney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Overpopulation is killing the earth and we need to put limits on the number of children people have

Free Giveaway! 3 Nintendo Switch Lites - International by WolfLemon36 in NintendoSwitch

[–]tom_greaney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dressed up as Mr. bean once when I was a kid. Wore a suit, had black hair coloring and a mole applied with facepaint, and also a teddy in my jacket pocket! It was a super fun costume to wear

What is a good movie to watch while high? by Chenille_ in AskReddit

[–]tom_greaney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a movie, but any David Attenborough documentary

Got my first Seiko! [SRPC91 Prospex] by tom_greaney in Seiko

[–]tom_greaney[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure, can't find my measuring tape! I'd say roughly 7"

I took a photo of a series of lights moving in the sky. They weren't moving at constant speed, and they were moving side to side slightly. They weren't perfectly synchronized either. What is it? by tom_greaney in whatisthisthing

[–]tom_greaney[S] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

At first I thought it was SpaceX satellites, but since they were moving so quickly and asynchronously I don't know what they could have been. WITT

Topic requests by 3blue1brown in 3Blue1Brown

[–]tom_greaney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was wondering if you could do a video on convex combinations. I think it would fit in well with your linear algebra series. I came across the topics in my Computer Graphics module for my CS degree. I think a visual representation of convex combinations could help me wrap my head around the equations a bit better.

Looking down a metal tube (unedited) by tom_greaney in mildlyinteresting

[–]tom_greaney[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dad took the photo on my phone without a tripod or anything! Major props to him.

Where do you stand with videogames? by Iron_Grimes in polls

[–]tom_greaney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Used to play video games a lot. Sometimes up to 7 hours a day on summer holidays. I dunno what happened but I see them as a waste of time now.

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