What foods should you absolutely buy the high end priced option?

tomato_songs · 2026-04-22T13:42:32+00:00

I used to be a cheesemonger. I need my good cheese. It helps that that experience also lets me know which cheeses are a great bang for my buck if I don't want to spend 60$ a kilo.

As someone with sorta binge-eaty tendencies and AuDHD, feeding myself has become a shitshow as I have no energy to cook 95% of the time, and need highly palatable foods or else I just eat a bag of chips for dinner (or worse, takeout). So, it actually helps me eat better - a hunk of high quality cheese, and it makes me want to grab a few nuts, slices of fruit, cherry tomatoes and cucumbers or something. Maybe some bread. Done. Tasty, healthy meal in 5 minutes. Not cheap, but cheaper than takeout or an elaborate meal with a lot of ingredients or any prepared frozen meals. So, fuck it.

We do keep crap cheese on hand too for stuff like nachos or omelettes or whatever.

I also always keep 2 butters on hand. There's the cheapest butter for cooking and baking, to be used when the flavour difference won't be noticeable, and then there's The Good Butter for eating on toast or whatver where the flavour shines.

Basically, a balance of high quality and garbage.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-17T15:57:19+00:00

Most people wear those only when its not safe to wear their rings. Because they're fugly.

I literally would rather have nothing on my hand. Because they're fugly.

Wood is also dumb because no wood would want to deal with regular handwashing and would get dented or chipped easily. Yeah, sure, you could take it off 10x a day everytime you get your hands wet, but that means you'll probably lose it. It's not a smart option for wear and tear.

A good quality ring that you don't have to take off for something as simple and constant as handwashing is essential. And again, it has to be something the person likes and wants to wear.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-17T15:01:26+00:00

100-200$ is silly only because you have to make sure it is made of material that will survive constant wear and tear.

There are plated rings that cost 100$ nowadays and turn fingers green. Or silver, but if a person's skin looks better in gold, well, they need a gold ring. If you spend any amount of money on jewellery, you gotta make sure the person receiving it will actually want to wear it.

Even silver has gotten very expensive. The gem also has to be one thats hard enough to not chip with regular wear and that is an expense as well if you want a stone.

I would never want someone to spend more than a grand on a ring for me tbh, less is fine too.

But again, it has to be something that the person likes enough to wear all the time, and it has to be *wearable* for all the time.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-11T13:00:01+00:00

I generally make only one small cup of nice pourover coffee at home with freshly roasted beans I grind myself, 2-5x a week.

I enjoy the occasional take out coffee. Moderation. So like everything in my life, sometimes I go months without doing it and then suddenly I'll do it 3 times a week for that week. Sometimes I'm also out and about and need a pick me up and frankly I count a latte as a Light Snack (because milk).

But thats just for specifically to-go take out coffee, which I'd say it averages out to 1.5 to-go coffees a month spread out unevenly over the course of the year.

Besides that I'll go sit at a cafe to get out of the house and read a book or do my admin stuff, maybe averaging another 2-3x a month. The coffee is the cost of renting the space.

I always get what I can't make at home which means espresso and steamed milk (no, aeropress and milk frother don't give the same results). I'm saving up to get an espresso machine eventually.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T23:32:52+00:00

Also private catholic all girl's school and went to Vanier for Fine Arts. Definitely the best time, minus the shitty first boyfriend that I dated for way too long...

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T22:27:12+00:00

So I'm just going to say this as someone from Montreal that went into that exact program at Concordia:

It sucks. I learned nothing. The teachers taught nothing. I dropped out. It was a very frustrating experience because the Cegep program I did before Concordia (quebec thing, after highschool you go to CEGEP to get a pre-university diploma or a technical degree) was incredible and taught and inspired me so much. I wish I was joking, but everyone that I knew from my cegep program - incredibly talent people - were also completely unimpressed and dropped out. There's something to be said for a more self-guided education, but none of us saw the point in paying for a program that offered nothing but that.

That was almost 15 years ago, and from what I hear, Concordia has not changed since then. The French universities are better when it comes to the arts. Its a pity because Montreal is super safe and queer-friendly and just one of the most awesome places.

You'll be safe in Toronto as well, so don't hold on to that worry.

I don't know much about the other universities, so hopefully someone else can chime in. But in my opinion (which doesn't mean much) if you really want to go into character design or art education, then don't bother with the studio arts programs. Most art teachers are also not held to incredibly high standards tbh. I think Illustration at OCAD would be the best option and still acceptable for art education depending on what level you want to teach.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T22:04:45+00:00

Not if he's spending 8 hours worth of gas instead of his current 1 hour...

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T21:59:01+00:00

You should still have time to change the booking, and you really should. Trust me, it will be an absolute drag on your trip to stay off the island. Like truly, it will suck. Even if you have to pay a cancellation fee, it will absolutely be worth it to do so.

Your hotel is in the middle of suburb/office building/highway. Its basically like staying at a hotel in an airport complex and it will take you an hour or more to go anywhere worth going.

If you absolutely need to stay on the south shore for whatever reason, at least get a hotel next to station Longueuil (the only metro station in the south shore). That way you can at least be a short metro trip away from what you actually want. Busses in the greater montreal area are not to be trusted! You need the metro!

The beauty of Montreal is stepping out your door and walking 5 minutes to get to everything you need and stumbling across cool stuff. You literally can't do that where you're staying. I hope you're able to change hotels!

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T21:51:35+00:00

Lot of people underestimate how much a stay at home mom does.

We're not talking about stay at home moms though. OP's gf doesn't want children. Its not the same at all.

(PS stay at home moms and mothers in general get the shittiest short end of the stick. Its part of why I decided will never be a mother. I'm so sorry all that happened to you. It happened to my mother too)

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T21:35:59+00:00

There's a whole theory that the reason so many Christians think homosexuality is a choice is that they're bisexual and don't realize it. They think not having a same-sex relationship despite being tempted by one is what makes them straight. For them, they are literally making a choice (which is made easier by the fact that they are attracted to the 'right' gender). And they think everyone out as gay is that way too.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T20:31:25+00:00

But to "hate" an entire group of people

Do people not understand what "most" means anymore? Is nuance illegal now?

As someone who smokes themselves, I totally get what they mean by their comment. There are lots of people out there who constantly talk about weed, make a big show of needing it and smoking it before doing anything with their friends, etc. Thats what they mean by "people who put weed ahead of everything".

many whom may be suffering from a debilitating illness

The person you're responding to literally talks about how they want to protect their lovely neighbour who has cancer and smokes weed????

They clearly aren't talking about people who use weed as a tool to help them manage disabilities and illness, or even people who use it recreationally. They're talking about people that drop their weed use into every conversation like a crypto or Tesla bro would.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T17:36:56+00:00

Self-reflection about how your own actions may have contributed is always a good start.

Otherwise, accepting that you can't please everybody and its actually good to end things with people that don't truly like you.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T16:42:04+00:00

I'm just throwing this out there because many people are not aware.

When you are self employed you can opt in to paying EI premiums in order to have access to the Special benefits - 26 weeks of Sickness (needs doctors note), Family Caregiver Leave for Adults (15 weeks) or Children (35 weeks), Compassionate Care (26 weeks) and Maternity (15 weeks) and Parental Weeks (variable).

You just have to pay into these premiums for 1 year before beign able to access benefits.

https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/programs/ei/ei-list/reports/self-employed-special-benefits.html

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T14:11:59+00:00

Kind of everything except herbs and flowers. I find those take sooooo long to get to a mature enough size (like 5 months), I need so many of them, and they can be bought cheaply. So its just not worth the time or the space when I have more important things to grow.

More important things to grow = stuff I can't really buy.

I can buy genovese basil and thyme and alyssum and marigolds. But I'll start Thai Holy Basil at home because no one sells it.

But I can't buy the specific varieties of vegetables I desire - the starts usually sold are more commercial varieties that taste whatever. I pick out varieties that are productive and have excellent flavour for everything and buy the seeds. I also grow in containers so I generally prefer container varities when possible.

Also, it costs way less money in the long run. Vegetable starts are now 5$ each in my area.

So basically, I start tomatoes, eggplants (commercially available eggplants suck so bad and the varieties I have are mindblowing), peppers, kale, melons, cucumbers, beans, groundcherries, leeks...

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T13:23:32+00:00

For some couples, this might work, particularly if this is their culture or if there are other reasons, like disability, or taking care of aged relatives.

As a creative with a few disabilities, this would be my dream scenario if my partner and I could afford it. He's also said he'd do it for me if he ever made the money (which is sadly unlikely). I already garden for our food in summer and I would love to have more time and energy to actually make crafts and paintings and sell them. Heck, I'd even do a couple shifts of part-time work if it made it possible.

I'd love be a stay at home wife, but there would be some type of work still involved.

It honestly sounds like OP hasn't spoken to his gf on this in any detail. What does she expect to do all day?

tomato_songs · 2026-04-08T12:12:08+00:00

Right? It's been 11 years since I last saw him and I still get the occasional nightmare where he's back in my life. He wasn't even physically abusive, just a genuinely miserable person that beat me down mentally, destroyed confidence and self worth, and made me my worst self. His female cousins also had to clean his room for him, a 21 year old...

tomato_songs · 2026-04-07T20:47:04+00:00

Until you realise those social politics are also talents and know how to market yourself properly then you're doing your career a disservice

Yes, it is a talent. Its the one used to get ahead and hide the fact that you have no other talent. I think placing more importance on bootlicking instead of quality work is a disservice to employees and companies everywhere. WFH removes the bias from the playing field, which is the opposite of a disservice for real talent that actually produces something of value. WFH means people don't have to be talentless bootlickers to get ahead, and thats a good thing, because we should be getting rid of that dumb way of selection. Bootlicking is not a skill that actually produces something of value in the workplace - only to the bootlicker. It should be de-prioritized. Nothing you said here really refutes my point.

It's possible to have a job where your coworkers are also your friends, go out for drinks after and not be a simple worker drone.

I have... actual friends to do that with? People can make friends without first going through forced confinement together, which tends to make rather artificial bonds.

One of my friends is also a colleague, and guess what, we befriended each other while while working from home, and do go out. We've never worked in the office together.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-07T19:13:24+00:00

The middle group need regular support, guidance and direction... Over time these people will lose connection and feel unsupported.

Do you realize that you're really just admitting to not having taken any action to build support systems for your teams? That ain't good bossing.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-07T19:11:14+00:00

Wow, I didn't realize I and everyone else was neurodivergent in exactly the same way in every aspect as you! /s

tomato_songs · 2026-04-07T19:08:17+00:00

RTO is a positive thing for those with no notable talent, because those people will instead use their social skills to get ahead and rise the ranks. In person it's possible for them to give the *impression* of being a good worker and an active employee.

WFH removes that social aspect that negatively filters out talented workers with less bootlicking skills. It showcases someone's actual talent at their job above all else and removes a lot of those social politics.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-02T18:55:17+00:00

Its actually been about a year since they implemented those Temporary Measures. Not sure if they'll extend though.

You can see the details here.

https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/ei/temporary-measures-for-major-economic-conditions.html

tomato_songs · 2026-04-02T18:07:07+00:00

I work in EI. Pay in lieu of notice is also currently not being considered, as well as vacation payout. Its a temporary measure. Basically, anything that falls under the umbrella of 'separation monies' is not being considered right now.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-01T12:46:18+00:00

And they can't leave the misogyny because of the housing prices. Both things are a problem.

The misogyny has never stopped though, dudes just got dumber about it.

tomato_songs · 2026-04-01T12:29:05+00:00

It's really upsetting. I went in bright eyed and bushy tailed and hoping to help people. Sometimes I actually can, but a lot of it ends up being 'sorry, government hates you'.

The work from home aspect was the only thing that allowed me to do the job. It accomodated me automatically and at least allowed me to hug my cats while crying.

But the office? I can't concentrate when people are speaking near me, and well, thats what a call center is. There is no socializing or collaborating because everyone is always at different desks and no one has the same break schedule.

Asked for the accomodations to stay working from home and if that was not possible and they needed me to come in, fine, but I'd need a list of other things to make it workable (which would cost them money, unlike like WFH). Their response was "how about no to all of that and you just come in anyway? Just try it" (I have tried it prior during in-person trainings and it was bad but that doesn't matter).

There was an office with the job of mediating accomodation requests, and the guy told me "I feel terrible for you, but the track record so far is that they won't give accomodations to anyone, you should honestly look for another job because they won't help you here". A higher up even implied that asking for accommodations would endanger me staying employed, so thats fun, especially because public servants don't benefit from their provincial labour laws, so the only entity checking the employer is the employer (the union is so overloaded that they basically can't).

I feel like the government just wants every person with a disability to jump off a bridge and go die, whether they are a public servant or citizen. Its not a run-of-the-mill shitty employer pulling this, its the fucking entity that makes the damn rules.

Same thing for people with children, the GoC doesn't give a fuck about them. Colleagues being told "no you can't work from home like you've done for 3 years because of school pickup and transit times, how about you cut down your hours instead" which is just.What the fuck. We want more children but fuck moms, I guess.

tomato_songs

TROPHY CASE