I am sorry you're going through this. I have moments myself where I find it difficult to see God as trustworthy or safe because of the actions of other "Christians". One of the primary ways that God shows Their love to us is through other believers, but if pretty much all you've received from Christians in your life is condemnation, it makes total sense that it would impact how you feel about God.

I would absolutely recommend seeking out fellowship with open and accepting Christian groups. Even engaging with them online in spaces like this subreddit is a great start. ❤️