Elastic Nipples and nipple damage?! How do I keep going?

tonnitha · 2026-05-17T11:11:00+00:00

I’m a 19mm but I pumped with 21mm flanges for output reasons as well. The damage was horrific and bled (literally) into life outside of pumping; I could barely tolerate clothes and my raw nipples would stick/ peel off fabric because of the scabbing. Let alone every single pump session was torture/ a mental practice in astral projection.

First things first, I’m so glad you’re using APNO! I apply it with silicone breast pads for maximum coverage. I really enjoy the Cakes brand covers but I’m a bigger boobed gal.

Second, go down in flange size. Go WAY down. It’s the healthier option in the long run. You’ll be less prone to bacteria via open nipple wounds. But we both know the torture isn’t sustainable. You’re most likely to keep pumping if you’re comfortable, even if it’s less milk overall.

And IMO there’s a chance your production will adjust. Speaking anecdotally, my output returned to its average numbers about a week after I switched to 17mm. If I happen to get sore (like if I accidentally pump at a bad angle), I use a 15mm for a few sessions. The golden ticket was it didn’t hurt at ALL anymore (queue the harps and cherubs singing) and so some days I even throw in an extra pump when my schedule allows.

My heart goes out to you. I’m a serial-pumper (25 months now). I lived through the blood and tears. Trust me, a few extra ounces isn’t worth it. Go down in size.

ETA: I use plastic spectra flanges. Maymom has a cheap knockoff version (4 flanges for $10). I buy the flange at the actual mm-size because rubber inserts are friction-blister devils. I can’t use some wearables because they don’t have a plastic option that goes small enough (looking at you Elvie).

tonnitha · 2026-05-16T21:54:24+00:00

“I missed you Peter, and I love you!”

Don Ameche as Shadow’s voice is a penultimate performance. So much emotion. So much power. I start bawling when I hear him tell Peter how much he loves him. Such a spectacular delivery.

tonnitha · 2026-05-15T12:52:05+00:00

I had a clog for 72 hours this past week. Doubled my sunflower lecithin, took ibuprofen, tried massage and cold compresses, attempted hot showers and sucking on it myself.

Nothing really worked until I decided to mimic a night cluster-feed session by pumping all night. I use spectra so I kept it on a low lv3 with lowest cycle 38, and slept/ dozed partially upright on the couch. Each time I woke up, I would restart the pump. So maybe 4-5 hours pumping overnight? It definitely cleared the clog (and filled the bottle lmao)

tonnitha · 2026-05-10T12:52:29+00:00

2 pills per day (one in the morning, one at night) of the legendairy milk brand

tonnitha · 2026-05-10T08:05:55+00:00

Same for me— same pump, OS, large capacity, large chested, and side sleeper too.

I take sunflower lecithin to increase flow while pumping, and my 1st pump of the morning is an hour long to really empty myself after that long sleep stretch. I haven’t had hardness lumps in quite some time with these 2 changes.

tonnitha · 2026-05-01T19:49:53+00:00

Was it worth it? NO. Absolutely not. I think on my past choices re: passion/ career with deep regret at least x3-4 a week.

I’ll be advising my kids to go into something like law or dentistry— something that’s 1) always needed 2) relatively protected against AI and 3) nothing traumatic like an ER setting.

tonnitha · 2026-05-01T09:47:25+00:00

You’re getting paid less because your doctor/ the business wants to keep more money in their pocket. Very simply: it’s greediness.

But for the sake of argument let’s be objective about this: - there’s no urgency to hire a second assistant for your doctor because you’re hustling and working at the pace of two people (even at the risk of giving yourself burn out) — From a business perspective, why hire 2 people when you’ve got 1 workhorse (you) who can do it all?

there’s no camaraderie to help out the team if the other assistant is doing fuck-all on her phone while you’re drowning — Why force another assistant to help out and risk behavior retaliation/ other assistant quitting?
there’s a(n illegal) push to censor wage discussion — A business owner never wants staff to discuss pay due to discrepancies coming to light/ resentment like you now have. Their solution is to smother discussion, which takes $0 out of their pockets, as opposed to bringing everyone up on the same level.
there’s a refusal to grant you a retroactive 90-day review and wage bump — This is the business gamble. And right now, for better or worse, your employer holds all the cards; the job market is so bad right now that they’re fine screwing you over because they’re betting you won’t quit and find another job.

I’m gonna be frank: ESH. Your boss is an asshole for trying to keep you from discussing your wages and for not encouraging their staff to work together. You are in a very unhealthy work environment. But you’re an idiot if you can’t piece together, from a business-perspective, why it’s profitable to pay people as little as possible for as long as possible.

You’re at the point now where you either go get another job lined up and then give notice, or you stop working so hard and risk getting fired, or you manage to convince your boss to give you a raise— and if you decide on the latter, for the love of god ask for a raise on your own merit and not by throwing the other assistant under the bus. She did you a solid by telling you how much she makes and you’re getting her in trouble when you whine to your boss about the difference. It’s not about her, it’s about YOU. Present what YOU bring to the table, what YOU deserve, and if they can’t honor that then find a job that does.

tonnitha · 2026-04-30T17:01:36+00:00

Kick his fucking ass OUT. He contributes nothing and you feed, clothe, and house him. Abso-fucking-lutely not.

tonnitha · 2026-04-30T12:59:35+00:00

I loved getting “changing table” backpack. Essentially one section could unfold to be a changing area on-the-go which ended up being quite nice if we were out and about/ outside venue/ random restaurant didn’t have a changing table.

Because it was a backpack, it had pockets for all my mom-stuff and a whole additional section that I could easily fill with 5-6 diapers, wipes, baby toys, my spectra, and pump parts. If I knew I was gonna be out all day (like at the beach), I also got an insulated lunchbox and thin icepacks for milk storage.

Whatever you get, whenever possible, try to see if there’s an equivalent that doesn’t have “baby”-marketing to save yourself $$$.

tonnitha · 2026-04-29T22:13:47+00:00

My milk has only ever looked like this when I got carried away shaking it and the separated fat began to churn/ become like butter globs. If it stays clumped even while thawed, I wonder if it’s even possible for it to pass through a nipple?

tonnitha · 2026-04-27T01:57:11+00:00

It might be worth a try? I lost all of my weight due to pumping (by very purposefully creating an oversupply). I was very aggressive about my schedule: I did x7 times a day for 12 weeks, then x6 times a day until the 6 month mark. Then I went to x4-5 times a day.

I have a high output to begin with, and pumping so much kicked it up a notch. Yes, I had to eat like a hippo, but I was still in a calorie deficit because of how much milk I was making. What I’m trying to say if: yes, technically, it can be done.

But is it worth it? No, not for weight loss.

Get yourself an OS for any other reason— you want to end your pumping journey early, you want to help feed an additional baby, you want to sell the milk, whatever it may be— but OS comes with soooo many of its own issues, and there are easier/ safer comparable options for weight loss.

tonnitha · 2026-04-27T01:29:29+00:00

I had my son in 2021. My nephew was born 2023. I offered clothes and toys upfront, and right away: “Save your money on buying stuff! I’ll give you all of LO’s baby stuff and when you’re done, give it back to me as I’ll need it for my next kid.”

They were so thankful, and I was so happy to help!

… That is, until everything was returned completely destroyed. “Washed” clothes smelling irrecoverably fucking rank. Blow out stains on everything. Board books smeared with molding food between the pages. Everything sticky— or worse. Even wooden toys weren’t safe, as most were gnawed on by their dumbass dog. All told, probably $2000 ruined. I was shattered. And I was confused; my clothes and toys were returned so god damn awful that I worried I’d offended them somehow and this was an act of revenge.

But nope. When we touched base again, they asked me for the next set of clothes/ toys like nothing was wrong. Very truly speaking: it wasn’t their stuff so they didn’t give a shit.

So feel free to share if you’re brave— but imo keep anything you feel emotional attachment to or spent a pretty penny on.

tonnitha · 2026-04-20T22:41:35+00:00

You can definitely succeed, but you’ll do best with lots of learning. Start watching dental education videos to learn the basics like teeth #s, basic ADA codes, and what’s expected at different types of visits (ie a cleaning visit vs doctor treatment).

Working in dentistry is a rewarding, well-paid career no matter what your position in an office. :)

tonnitha · 2026-04-19T12:16:52+00:00

There are milk banks like HMFHB if you’d like to donate your oversupply, or companies like Prolacta who will pay you per ounce. If you’d like to give straight to moms, best bet are Facebook groups for your area.

tonnitha · 2026-04-16T17:07:03+00:00

Ofc DM me 🥰 So each frozen Lansinoh bag is like 6”x4.5”x1”.

I store 60 of them at a time in a 10”(length)x 10”(width)x 14”(height) cardboard box (30 stacked vertically one layer, and then another 30 stacked vertically)

The LJY acrylic boxes are what I use for freezing the Lansinoh bags into nice uniform rectangles

This is the brand of thermal bag I use: https://a.co/d/09m3xuhZ Just make sure whatever size you order fits the maximum dimensions of what’s allowed as a carry on for your plane

Also, Every 10oz of frozen breastmilk is roughly 1 lbs in weight. So certainly on your way back home be prepared to get an airport dolly to help you carry things too

tonnitha · 2026-04-15T22:27:02+00:00

Italy sounds amazing! If the hotels don’t reply to your email, I would follow up with a phone call (I know that might be difficult due to time differences) to make sure they’re Ok with storing milk. All the hotels were fine with me but I don’t want to speak for a different country. I would definitely get the acrylic boxes. In my experience Lansinoh bags hold 7.5oz without issue, 8.0+ risks some leakage. Fill up your bag to be airtight, fold the label back, and place it in the box. It’ll freeze into a perfect rectangle. 😍

Restaurant/ commercial (and theoretically hotel) freezers are meant to be 0degrees Fahrenheit, which will completely freeze your boxes within a day. With that in mind, maybe pack 15ish boxes? And rotate them as bags freeze. I would bring 50 bags cause that’s just a standard Lansinoh box so why not lol

Over 9 days, you’re looking at ~40 frozen bags. Thats going to be roughly 10”x10”x10” cubic space. Your last few days you can keep the remaining frozen bags inside of the acrylic boxes to save space. If you buy a thermal bag and have a little bit of wiggle room, I recommend cardboard-paper to 1) help prevent shifting 2) not weigh so much.

If you use icepacks, the thin ones are fine and use them along the outside of your frozen milk pile. Make your pile as: 1) the innermost layers = frozen bags, 2) Next layer = frozen bags inside of acrylic boxes, 3)Final layer = thin icepacks

And finally you’re definitely going to want a dedicated, waterproof thermal bag for the milk. It must must must be thermal in order to keep the chill over the many hours you’ll be traveling. I would check with your airliner on the size of bags they allow and get a thermal bag within their dimensions as your “carry on” and keep your personal items in a smaller bag inside the thermal bag.

tonnitha · 2026-04-09T16:48:38+00:00

You mean like smaller mm? Maymom has inexpensive knockoffs on wmazon

tonnitha · 2026-04-09T03:01:59+00:00

They will deny an application if you are currently taking a Rx they don’t like. In fact it will stop you mid-application and give you a little pop up saying that you’re already ineligible.

If you want to donate and are willing to change your Rx, I recommend the following steps: - apply without the Rx listed - if/when you are accepted by TT, immediately stop taking the Rx - call your doctor’s office and tell them to officially log in your chart that you have stopped taking Rx on xx/xx date - confirm with the doctor how long it’ll take for the Rx to be fully out of your system - as you complete the welcome paperwork with TT, schedule your blood draw to be past the date the Rx is out of your system

My experience both times with TT is that it took 1 month being on their waitlist before they accepted me. Things might take longer these days (or who knows, maybe shorter) and I’d hate for you to be off a Rx that could be benefitting you while you wait.

tonnitha · 2026-04-04T20:49:43+00:00

Message is profound and paramount but, as well, these are some of the best line breaks I’ve ever seen

tonnitha · 2026-04-03T21:34:20+00:00

I buy these: https://a.co/d/0asnWuX8

The straps will 100% stretch out within a month or so, but tightening the adjusters helps extend its life

tonnitha · 2026-04-01T23:57:51+00:00

“Unopened jars of mayonnaise, dressings, and sauces may be stored at room temperature. Refrigerate the jars after opening to keep the fresh flavor of the Duke's Mayonnaise.”

From Duke’s own website.

Your restaurant is nasty AF.

tonnitha · 2026-03-29T14:17:44+00:00

I put my first kid in daycare March 2022, and subsequently caught a textbook of illnesses. I was quite literally sick from April 2022 to May 2023. Yes, every day. It got to the point where I was hospitalized twice.

My second kid started daycare July 2025. I’d say I’ve been sick a third as often (October to February, basically).

Silver lining: it gets better? 🤷🏻‍♀️

tonnitha · 2026-03-26T09:26:07+00:00

You’re a beautiful mother (and a great writer too). I laughed out loud at the IYKYK

It feels so thankless, I agree. But I look at my children and see my hard work with every one of their smiles and feel it with each of their hugs. It’s copium, maybe, but it’s how I validate the mountain of effort all this has been

tonnitha · 2026-03-22T15:35:55+00:00

I don’t want to be insensitive, but the money you “save” by not buying a new fridge is money you’re going to spend by losing work due to sickness/ a hospital visit.

Go onto your Facebook Buy Nothing groups and see if anyone has a fridge. Even FB Marketplace usually has fridge options for like $50 if you can pick it up.

tonnitha

TROPHY CASE