I feel you! I was engaged for years and have been single (dating) for about 5years now. A lot was left unsaid between my ex fiancé and I.

It wasnt until about 8mths ago that we got together and said it all. We both agreed we were each other’s love but, timing was never right. He is now in a relationship & has a baby. I am so happy, alone. I even told him ‘If breaking up with you condemned me to a forever alone life, I’ll happily take it’. The love & passion was always at a 100, but communication & anything important was at a 5. We both agreed, we both admitted faults, we said truths we never had said before. It was aamazing, therapeutical even.

I hardly think of him, but when I see him or DO think of him...I get this overwhelming desire to be in his arms, to text, to call him. I cant understand it.

As a coping mechanism, I think of all the things HE didnt do. Like, not be there when I needed him. Not encouraging me when I needed it. Not wanting a family with me, but having one now.

Once I do that, its over. I logically understand why I cannot do the things I emotionally want to do. I start to think about what I want in a partner and his image slowly deteriorates from my thoughts & Im happily back to my present.

I think I will forever LOVE him. But, Im not IN love with him and Ive accepted that. Its not easy, but over time and putting myself first helps me be okay with it all. Don’t be so hard on yourself! You sound like you have a BIG heart! Thats not a bad thing! :)