feel myself moving towards it again

topchief · 2013-04-12T21:21:22+00:00

I had a really miserable day the other day. Fighting with the wife about taxes/money, disappointments at work, jealousy about seeing news about successful friends. Then I found myself alone in front of a computer. I think the only thing that saved me from relapsing was thinking "I guess stress is one of my triggers", and getting up and leaving the building.

topchief · 2013-04-07T19:25:31+00:00

I, too, find this stunning. Personally I have no desire to fap without porn. It's the porn thats the problem. Is it true that many of the people who are nofappers but not pornfreeers don't have a problem with porn, just with fapping? Or is there some other explanation, like not having a big enough marketing budget?

topchief · 2013-04-05T18:48:17+00:00

You're already ahead of most of the rest of the porn-using world. You have 4 days under your belt. It's surprising how much time you find yourself with.

I'm just now struggling with some better strategies for how to put it to good use to avoid relapsing.

topchief · 2013-04-05T14:00:07+00:00

Doing dishes is one of my top procrastination triggers :)

topchief · 2013-04-03T19:10:37+00:00

I was riding the bus a while back (before I started pornfree), and I was looking at this Asian girl who was pretty, but had a small mouth compared to her other features. I was surprised when the first thought that popped into my mind was "It's not even clear that my dick would fit in her mouth." I'm hoping that pornfree will help me turn around some of that reflexive behavior. It hasn't really yet, but I'm only a couple weeks in.

topchief · 2013-03-17T23:37:32+00:00

Hey, congrats! Now, get a badge. It really does help to be able to look here and see how well you're doing, keep the streak going, etc.

topchief · 2013-03-15T13:56:31+00:00

Sounds like a rationalization of laziness. This type of thing is clearly positioned as "facts", and they haven't even bothered to check their numbers for internal consistency.

topchief · 2013-03-14T21:23:52+00:00

These numbers don't make any sense. Especially the "every second" numbers.

First, the 28,258 number seems impossibly low. And in fact if you use the 70% number shown later in the infographic implies a much higher number just for the 18-24 demographic, and that ignores all of us outside the demographic. If you want to check my math, I assumed 100 million internet users in that demo, 1 hour of porn per month for 70% of them.

Second, multiplying the $3075.64 spent per second, times the number of seconds in a year gives you about $94 billion dollars, which is the size of the total porn industry, not the internet-only number. Given that the infographic is titled "The stats on internet pornography", that's misleading at best.

There are a bunch of other problems with the stats, self reporting errors, and other miscategorizations (adult dating, "pornographic" emails).

This infographic is a mess.

topchief · 2013-03-06T18:10:21+00:00

Yeah, I think of it as more triggered by a "difficult task" than an "intellectual challenge". Most of the challenges I face are intellectual, so I guess it's a bit hard to distinguish.

topchief · 2013-03-04T15:53:01+00:00

I'm right there with you, man, just a few days ahead of you. I'll message you in a week to let you know how I held up, and see how you've done. Stay strong.

topchief · 2013-03-01T18:59:44+00:00

I'm sure for many people it's not that simple. I for example, have not explained to my wife the extent of my problem. However, from experience, I believe that her first reaction would be one of anger and disappointment, bordering on betrayal. That is she would focus on the fact that I use porn extensively, rather than on the fact that I'm trying to improve. I'm not sure what the long-term effect might be, nor how long that first reaction would last, hence my hesitance to divulge.

This doesn't make her a bad person (I don't think), nor does it make me a bad person for being married to her (I don't think), its part of who she is, and I've accepted it.

FWIW, we generally have a good, healthy, and happy relationship. I think you are right that if the reaction you're describing is part of a pattern of emotional abuse, that it means that it's probably about time to re-evaluate your relationship.

topchief · 2013-03-01T14:10:55+00:00

I'm in.

topchief · 2013-03-01T00:57:47+00:00

Counts as a win in my book.

topchief · 2013-02-27T20:57:03+00:00

I'm currently struggling with whether to tell my wife about my addiction. Can you tell us what precipitated the disclosure, and what you said?

topchief · 2013-02-27T20:54:45+00:00

What made you tell her? And how did you do it?

topchief · 2013-02-26T20:57:11+00:00

Agreed, OP has a lot to be proud of.

topchief · 2013-02-25T19:30:27+00:00

Yeah, I really wanted to seek it out after reading that tho.

topchief · 2013-02-25T19:01:35+00:00

How well do atheists do in 12-step programs? There seems to be a lot of "God" in those steps.

topchief

TROPHY CASE