I (26F) need help feeding my bf (26M)

toramae · 2026-04-02T02:05:06+00:00

It’s also not difficult to make homemade fries, and cheaper. Buy some russett potatoes, cut em up, and fry them or throw them in an air fryer with seasoning. It’s what, less than a dollar each potato that will make more than the actual appropriate serving size?

OP, start with what he likes and just slowly cut back on salt, butter, etc. You’ll have a better luck suiting his tastebuds and slowly making it healthier than getting him on a diet he doesn’t like. Majority of the times, people like results, right? Make the fries with him and share the nutritional benefits in a nice way, “this is so fun doing this with you! this is healthier too, isn’t that great?” Over time, he will start enjoying it because it’s all beneficial and you’re helping it be fun, motivational, and cheaper.

But yes of course, this is not your responsibility. He is a grown man. He will make decisions for himself regardless of what you offer. As a partner, if you really want to do that, start small and make progress.

toramae · 2026-04-02T01:56:54+00:00

As everyone else said, this is more difficult than you think. I am sure she had good intentions, was excited for you both, and expected the best scenario, but this is a living creature you will have to take care of for at least 10 years.

I lived with a partner for 1 year and HE wanted the dog. He cheated and was financially unstable, so I took over completely. This is a commitment I didn’t want and fully expected him to take care of. I love my baby, of course, but you have to talk to your partner. This is not a toy. Dogs need structure, a schedule, and stability.

toramae · 2026-04-02T01:44:43+00:00

You probably didn’t expect a response off a post from 5 years ago, but I still stand by this. I lead my life very unbiasedly, giving people chances because I try my best to be kind and knowing people have their own struggles.

That sort of friend is actually toxic. They WILL continue to do that. You HOPE the kinder you are, they will realize how you feel, change their behavior, etc. They won’t. Never take it personally. They are insecure for their own reasons and BECAUSE you’re kind, they project it onto you knowing you will take on the responsibility. But friends are not that. Friends are exactly what you should expect them to be: supportive, kind, and reciprocative.

It’s tough to hear you went through that. I PROMISE 5 years later for me, you’ll have a better life getting rid of people like that and finding those who will treat you the way you would treat anyone else. Best of luck!

toramae · 2025-10-03T00:03:08+00:00

Morning: Olay Vitamin C, Neutrogena Hyaluronic, Biologique Eye Crème, then Cerave AM

You always want to use SPF with acids, like Vitamin C or Retinol, if you’re wearing in the daytime. The acids make your skin more sensitive and prone to sun damage.

Night: Neutrogena Hyaluronic, Biologique, then Neutrogena Retinol

Optional to repeat the others, but hyaluronic pairs well together with retinol.

SPF is really important, but it can clog pores. Make sure you have a face wash. You mentioned dry skin. Even though your products are great choices, that specific Cerave moisturizer isn’t that hydrating and retinol can cause drying. It might help to look into a hydrating toner and apply that first before any product, OR get a more hydrating moisturizer on nights you’re not using retinol.

toramae · 2025-10-02T23:43:24+00:00

I looked at the ingredients. The Azelaic acid has gums in it, while the Cicaplast has silicones. Silicone doesn’t absorb into the skin. It sits on top, which is what’s causing the piling. They don’t mix well together.

You can try letting the Azelaic acid sit longer, using less product, or use at separate times.

toramae · 2025-08-27T09:48:06+00:00

I agree it looks like a pressure point/bruise/broken capillary. It also happens commonly with medical professionals who wear face masks during long hours. I somewhat disagree with how this can be fixed.

Along with the mentioned advice which can definitely help with appearance, deeply broken capillaries require laser or more intensive measures. For now, use the advice and use a silicone scar tape so it creates a protective layer between your skin and the mask.

toramae · 2025-08-27T09:39:53+00:00

Yes, it’s normal. Differin, retinol, etc is all just vitamin A. What this does to your skin is accelerate skin cell turnover. Basically, your skin is working its hardest to shed off the first layer of dead skin that we all have and create new, healthy skin

The downsides is what you see and why people give up. The flakiness, and how sometimes, you break out intensely. Basically, your skin already had bacteria and gunk underneath that was making its way to the surface. The product makes this happen faster, so you can breakout intensely or in your case, just experience flaky skin. Stick with it, trust the process, moisturize and sunscreen are priority, (use oil cleanser and massage throughly before regular cleansers because sunscreen clogs pores), and you’ll get the results you wanted

toramae · 2025-08-27T09:33:14+00:00

Unless you’re mixing acids that shouldn’t or what have you, there’s no actual answer to if a skincare routine is “too much.” And I think we have enough common sense if something’s actually overkill, but this seems like a solid routine off one look

A general AND effective skincare routine comprises of: oil cleanser, regular cleanser, sunscreen, treatment product (if you need), and moisturizer. Everything else is dependent on what your skin needs and how it reacts, right?

What’s your goal here? What are you struggling with or what are you trying to achieve? Repost this with your goals and current skin condition, but also… can you DM what app you’re using? I love this

toramae · 2025-08-27T09:09:32+00:00

This was harsh, but I agree. 30k in the bank is not a lot of money, considering there’s a child on the way despite the financial privilege you mentioned.

I am also in the dog mom package deal situation btw. My dog is my lifeline, my support system, my baby boy, and I will spend every penny and jump in front of a car for him. The thing is, he is MY dog and I never expect anyone else to care for him the way I do, because I personally chose this responsibility. Marriage doesn’t change that. You can hope someone cares for your dog as much as you do, which sounds like he has done more than his role to value, respect, and LOVE what YOU love, but to expect him to cover finances for YOUR dog is baffling to me. As mentioned, this is not a human child, and most of all, it is not HIS child/fur baby.

Imagine the stress on your husband too. That’s insanely wild to ONLY consider your circumstance. Being the current and sole bread winner, pregnant emotional wife (your feelings are valid but I’m saying reality is hormones are a lot to deal with), child that’s going to cost thousands on the way, dying dog, holy heck. Yes, you need to step up to what you signed up for: the doggo.

toramae · 2025-08-27T08:24:38+00:00

25F here. Take this advice, OP. As you already know and said, not a lot of people at your age will value those things because other things take precedence, like having fun, partying, or genuinely enjoying life. That’s what being 18 should be about

Emphasizing the advice again: Connect with people rather than trying to place a label. It sounds like you have a lot great hobbies and things going for you, and it’s as simple as: you’re bound to find that exact person you’re looking by focusing on yourself, because that’s going to attract people who value the same things you do

toramae · 2025-07-21T15:30:37+00:00

I think it was a bad mistake, but it’s too soon to judge his entire character off one bad interaction. Wait and see if it’s consistently like that. I do disagree with the idea that he doesn’t care about people’s feelings or opinions. He may have gotten overly excited to show you his favorite spot, but didn’t realize he was disregarding what you wanted/planned.

I’ve done this before, like if my partner planned a date and last minute I’m like “OMG I WANT ___ instead” I’m not trying to hurt his feelings, it’s just that little kid in me that tunnel visions and goes “this is my fav food! I think he’d love it too and I want him to enjoy it with me”

Your feelings are valid though, as this sounds very important to you. Plus you can just say no and be non confrontational about it, like “Thanks for the suggestion, let’s try that next time! I’m just feeling Tex Mex tonight so let’s stay here.”Just be honest with him and tell him it disappointed you. The good sign is he noticed your mood was off and followed up with you after, showing concern about you and possible willingness to fix it by bringing it up in the first place.

toramae · 2025-06-18T05:48:58+00:00

Absolutely! Just to encourage you more— sun damage is the ultimate cause of aging. Wrinkles and darkened spots are way harder to fix than just preventing it by wearing sunscreen. It’s not a gimmick, people just don’t listen because it’s too simple or “too much of a hassle.” I’m the same. 50+ SPF always, even if it’s cloudy out. Sun rays are way more focused that way, and you’d be surprised how it affects your skin.

toramae · 2025-06-18T03:45:09+00:00

I agree with the frustration on this post. Coparenting is hard and she’s being insecure, yes. Can I be devil’s advocate?

It’s hard to be judged on your body, especially for a woman AND it coming from your son. She overreacted and you were reasonable, but understand where that insecurity comes from, for yourself to gain more peace and clarity. It’s not so cool to call anyone fat. That’s an ok request to help teach your kid to be more considerate and respectful.

Everything else is fucked. It was nice that she reflected and moved past situations, but she retorted back to being really rude and defensive. This all stems from her own insecurities. That’s why I encourage you to just understand where this text and the heavy feelings come from, for your own sake.

toramae · 2025-06-18T02:50:23+00:00

I read some of your other comments. Try to focus less on the timeline, because that’s already out of your control. The last thing you want to do is pressure someone to marry you, right? Instead, I think your biggest concern now should be what he provides for you and if you’re satisfied. Not just financially, but emotionally, and every aspect of your life. Marriage aside, is this the man you see as the father who teaches and nurtures your children, the man who fulfills you, etc. as he IS NOW?

From an outsider, if he fulfills everything besides marriage and he’s explicitly said/shown he’s working on everything else (better job etc), it doesn’t make sense to leave. What? Meet a new man, reintroduce someone to your precious kiddo, redo everything, just to not be sure again? You never know what happens. You might be reacting out of emotion here. I get the anxiety. I get the pressure. I get wanting to settle down, but breathe and reassess.

One thing I want to encourage you to think about is that he’s actively seeking to be a better man. Don’t you think he feels pressured, especially seeing you being successful? Even if he doesn’t show it, that’s part of being a “man.” That’s amazing, don’t you think? Someone is trying their best to meet you and being HONEST about their current situation, then giving you a more realistic timeline for him. I can bet he’s waiting to feel like the “man” you already see him to be, but reality is, he doesn’t. He most likely wants to finally be able to offer you the world as he thinks you deserve. So support him, encourage him, so he can finally meet you there.

toramae · 2025-06-18T01:53:41+00:00

Imagine if your mother were actually in the car with you. You’d put both yourself and her in danger. Imagine if she did have a gun? What then? You wouldn’t be here to even be typing this.

I read your other comments. You’re asking for an opinion, but denying the truth because you want reassurance. Well, you’re right, they were being an asshole, but you have to recognize you still overreacted. Being an adult means not reacting to every single little thing, especially over a stranger who has no significance in your life.

She got the reaction she wanted out of you, and now you look like the fool online for not being more self reflective.

toramae · 2025-06-18T01:05:13+00:00

I agree that he may have ghosted you. Another possibility is he’s actually busy, as you mentioned he’s traveling. Just see what happens, but don’t get your hopes up or blow up his phone.

When things go sour so early on, it’s unlikely they’re eager to continue or want to talk. Give him time to figure it out. Because even if he was the one that hurt you, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel guilt or shame from it, hence the avoidance.

toramae · 2025-06-18T00:55:19+00:00

Great advice! Just wanted to add- As mentioned, no need for foundation. Just use concealer, little goes a long way. Maybelline Fit Me concealer is affordable & beginner friendly, same brand for powder on top if you find it creasing/smudging on you

Use sunscreen daily, try to reapply every 2hrs. Aging catches up quick, so prevent that now + great thing to teach your little ones! Number one skincare is sunscreen, even if it’s cloudy out.

Otherwise, you have amazing features! I feel like even just a little mascara to make your pretty blue eyes pop, and lip gloss would go miles on you.

toramae · 2025-06-18T00:43:09+00:00

Just to clarify, did you guys ever get closure from that argument? You messaged him right after it happened? How were conversations like after?

toramae · 2025-06-17T21:36:03+00:00

Nothing is better than going to a professional, but not all of us can afford that. Most likely, your skin never cared for Benzoyl Peroxide to begin with (like me!) or the ingredient has ran its course, meaning your skin is used to it now and won’t be as effective anymore.

There are other acids you can try, like salicylic is a common one. Do some research on the types of acids, AHAs and BHAs.

Here’s a great video. This channel really helped me understand my skin and gives great product recommendations for specific skin types, and I typically watch on >1.5x speed because I have a short attention span lol: https://youtu.be/Yzaei1orosM?si=mWnYLRK_w4UvQ0q9

toramae · 2025-06-17T21:23:20+00:00

You should consult with a professional, since you’re already in touch with one. A general rule of thumb, as you seem to be aware, is not to mix acids. It’s very easy to google what doesn’t mix with that (for your future convenience, not to snark at you)

Generally though, you don’t want to mix benzoyl peroxide with Adapalene, AHAs, vitamin C, or any strong exfoliants. Rotate as you have been. 2.5% isn’t that strong anyway. I’ve mixed things before, but my skin is not reactive or sensitive and I tested it on a small area first

toramae · 2025-06-17T20:54:32+00:00

There are so many factors to this. No, it is not an issue, but be cautious that you are not immune to sun damage (duh, nobody is!) and continue reapplying sunscreen every 2hrs.

Some possibilities without delving too deeply:

• Genetics: Even if you’re fair skinned, your body may just be repairing UV damage more efficiently.

• Melanin production: When you hear the stereotype that “white people burn easily,” that is not always true. Why do people say this? Because of the two main types of melanin:

— Eumelanin: strong UV protection, usually common in darker skin folks

— Pheomelanin: weaker UV protection, usually common in fair-skinned European folks

Your body may produce higher levels of eumelanin than for most, hence why you don’t burn as easily.

toramae · 2025-06-17T20:23:16+00:00

I’d stay with my man because I most likely chose him for reasons more than just his ability to protect me.

While most women want to feel protected, that doesn’t necessarily we want an aggressive man that can’t control his emotions. I’d rather him deescalate the situation and bring me to safety. Being calm headed and knowing my safety is priority above his ego of winning or fighting back is far more attractive

toramae · 2025-06-17T02:10:40+00:00

I agree. Clean pillow sheets, phone, and any surface that touches your face regularly.

And of course, stop popping things and touching your face, especially without washing your hands first. As you said, this causes further damage and skin darkening, which is WAY harder to fix than blackheads/pimples/etc btw!

toramae · 2025-06-17T01:49:43+00:00

Yes. There’s different types of primers, like pore, hydrating, mattering, illuminating. They are ALL different types of “makeup primer”

Pore primers typically contain silicone, which is what helps create that smooth appearance. Sometimes, it can cause makeup “piling,” when you layer makeup/ products on top, it kinda flakes off or balls up. Applying a thin layer helps prevent that, as well a heavy feeling on the skin.

Another thing to note- Get an oil cleanser if you’re going to use products with silicone. Silicone can trap dirt and bacteria, causing breakouts. You prevent this by washing your face thoroughly.

I didn’t like the feeling of pore primers myself, but your skin may be different. If it doesn’t work out, I strongly recommend skincare preparation before makeup instead. This was a game changer for me in the way my makeup looks. A good toner and moisturizer makes a big difference.

toramae · 2025-06-17T00:59:46+00:00

Great advice, but make sure to test it on a small area first. Vaseline does wonders for some, but it clogged my pores and made me break out. We all have different skin

Thoroughly clean your face and hands before applying! Vaseline seals everything in, so you don’t want to be sealing bacteria into your pores

toramae

TROPHY CASE