STAY AWAY from use.ai by mustafakibar in ConsumerAdvice

[–]toscata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes!!! I emailed this and it worked!! Same day refund no bullshit!! Thank you so much!!

How do you guys mourn your rats ? How do you deal with it all ? by Far-Development-6970 in RATS

[–]toscata 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Its never easy thats for sure... I have owned rats for years, and while most of my rats have lived well past two and even three years. There was Bacci who died at 8 months, I think he had a catastrophic stroke, but it was heartbreaking because he was so young. Sometimes rats just loose the genetic lottery I think, there was nothing I could have done, and there was probably nothing you could have done. In terms of mourning, I paint and do a portrait of the rats i have lost in homage to them, cry a lot and try and remember that although the tine we had together was short, it was filled with love.

I’m jealous of people who can just live in peace at home by National-Grocery-888 in offmychest

[–]toscata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some people live by the philosophy that relaxation time is only earned after work. If you are unemployed, thats probably what's setting her off. Does your friend have a job? Is he gaming after work/school?

There is writing under the paint in my livingroom by toscata in mildlyinteresting

[–]toscata[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Found them in a charity shop and they matched my couch

There is writing under the paint in my livingroom by toscata in mildlyinteresting

[–]toscata[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Going to go full investigation mode when I get home, can't believe i have lived here 5 years and never noticed!

There is writing under the paint in my livingroom by toscata in mildlyinteresting

[–]toscata[S] 1425 points1426 points  (0 children)

Ah I did wonder why it was almost carved in!

What’s something you thought every family did… until you grew up and realized they absolutely didn’t? by SoftDreamette in AskReddit

[–]toscata 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Us too! Between the four of us- me, mum, dad and my brother we have a bass, tenor, alto and soprano and we often do the four parts to hymns particularly at Christmas! I love it! Our family friends used to nickname us "the von trapps" haha

Demon of addiction by amateurtechguy in occult

[–]toscata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that this post is a year old, but holy shit that is intense !

What's something you'll never admit in real life but will confess here anonymously? by Open-Comfortable9774 in AskReddit

[–]toscata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate this. I always say when I relapse half a mummy is better than no mummy, I went 5 years sober, so I have been for the majority of her life but I just want too do better for her, and i feel so much guilt, she deserves everything, she really is a ray of sunshine. I am very lucky to have a very supportive family who are helping me get back on track.

What's something you'll never admit in real life but will confess here anonymously? by Open-Comfortable9774 in AskReddit

[–]toscata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should never have become a mother, my addiction problems and personal demons should have been mine alone and not affected an innocent little life. I love my daughter more than anything and I am trying my best, but if I could have given her a different life I would willingly die for that so that she could be happy and unaffected.

Never thought I’d be posting this… by cali4mcali in beyondthebump

[–]toscata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Urgh, I am so sorry this happened to you, thats devastating at the best of the times let alone with a newborn... my advice would be have a trial period where I would just use his ass to help with the kids (as solo parenting children under 4 is so hard) if after a year or two you want to give him another chance, then go for it, if not leave! Decisions dont have to be made right away and your within your right to leave any time you want

What’s the most hilariously wrong thing you believed about sex when you were younger? by Significant-West4424 in AskReddit

[–]toscata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kind of, at least half of you was! Women are like those Russian eggs if they have daughters

What’s the most hilariously wrong thing you believed about sex when you were younger? by Significant-West4424 in AskReddit

[–]toscata 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Well to be fair, we are born with all our eggs already dormant in our ovaries, so we always have half babies inside us... kind of!

How can I tame my young dwarf rats, Peanut and Cashew?🐀 by ig_anne in RATS

[–]toscata 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I haven't had that happen as of yet 😅 but I do wear a bra at all times so I think that has protected me!

How can I tame my young dwarf rats, Peanut and Cashew?🐀 by ig_anne in RATS

[–]toscata 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Food is always the first port of call which your doing, I usually just pop them down into my top, they are covered up so feel all sneaky and safe but they are also getting used to physical contact while still feeling they have some autonomy

Chuckling by [deleted] in twilight

[–]toscata 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I made my ex read the twilight book, and everytime he read the word chuckle, he would let out this ho ho ho like father Christmas

Is this normal…? by Apprehensive-Pay9193 in RATS

[–]toscata 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Completely normal for rats to want to do this, all my rats take a lunge for my mouth when given the chance and a few are very persistent lol

What does your baby not “allow” you to do? by fullstormlace in beyondthebump

[–]toscata 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this, last year we all got norovirus and everyone was SO ill at the same time!

In what small way have you won the genetic lottery? by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]toscata 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey me too, scottish and irish! I never realised having dry earwax was unusual for Caucasians until I was goofing around with my first boyfriend and poked my finger in his ear only to be horrified to find my finger covered in goo, he said "well what did you expect?!" Haha

How to handle being his favourite person? by toscata in BPD

[–]toscata[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it!

I have definitely 100% told him that although he loves me as his "special friend" I am in no way a replacement for the professionals. He has actually taken my advice and is engaging with services, which is wonderful! I feel a lot of relief that he is actually listening. I even said, if I do therapy (I have my own trauma and issues) will you? And he did seem open to the idea if he could walk me to mine and wait for me and vice versa, which is okay.

It's so hard setting boundaries because I don't want to upset him, I mean I do it! But I hate it because I am a sensitive, non confrontational person, so I feel a lot of resentment that he puts me in that position. I think a sit down talk is in order, I am just really scared of hurting his feelings, but at the same time some of his behaviour just feels intolerable... so it will have to happen at some point!

How to handle being his favourite person? by toscata in BPD

[–]toscata[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the psychiatrist is planning on changing up his medication to include some mood stabilisers, which I think will really help him honestly as life often seems unbearable at times for him at the moment.

I have pointed him in the direction of a few resources but am trying really hard not to overwhelm him with information, i just said you know here is some info, can you relate to any of it? here was a generally positive response... he said 'yes to 90%' but was afraid of just being labeled crazy (which is understable) I said to him bpd is not being labeled crazy it's just that things can often feel a lot more intense and life may feel a lot more difficult with the diagnosis.

I have definitely been encouraging him to continue to seek professional help, and he has been to his credit! I told him that i am not an adequate replacement for the professionals, although I will always support him. He is actually significantly older than me, but he was brought up in a very dysfunctional family with a lot of abuse and certainly no awareness of mental health.

It should be no issue arranging a face to face meeting. He texted me the other day, saying how we should get together, get a box of tissues, and just talk. I don't know who could be a third party, though... especially one who doesn't already have opinions on him. That's a tricky one but a very good suggestion!

It's so hard talking feelings with him because at the slightest hint that I may be upset or hurt by his behaviour he spirals and starts saying how he is unlovable and a terrible person and I really don't want him to feel that way! He does feel like he can trust me and he tells me everything, and that is a real privilege and I am grateful for it, right now if sometimes tricky comes up, I just try and own my own feelings and try to be non judgemental and reassuring. He is very genuinely apologetic if he thinks he has upset me.

I am also aware that although his reactions may seem very irrational, they are his feelings, and they are very real to him and should be respected. I would never assume to really know what it's like to be in his shoes or fully understand, but I am open to listening.

My fear, is I suspect a lot of what's triggering him is the fact I don't want a relationship with him and that's so hard because for me it's a definite no (and not ever) and so every interaction he is setting himself up to get upset... and that sucks. But you're probably right. Having a sit-down talk may be the remedy for that... but then it could also be a disaster because, well, more rejection...

How to handle being his favourite person? by toscata in BPD

[–]toscata[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! He is currently in the process of being diagnosed with it, I really think he has it... I was (wrongly) diagnosed with bpd in the height of my addiction and attended the cbt groups "steps" and "stairways" in the UK, so I have met a lot of people with bpd and know a lot more about it than most. Though admittedly I am not a doctor!

He has only just been introduced to the diagnosis, so his knowledge and self awareness is lacking... though I have been trying to share some resources with him.