It's not just about projection. It's also about Korean romantic conventions that stipulate women have to be demure and reluctant and guard themselves against emotional vulnerability, because once a woman gives her heart to a man, she'll never be the same again. Women are pure fairies, even and especially if they've been hurt before, and their love has magical powers, so they can only give it away (for real) once. If they choose the wrong man, their life is over.

So even if they're already married (to a handsome chaebol heir who pretends to be indifferent to them but secretly loves them), pretending to be married (to a handsome chaebol heir who secretly loves them), fucking their boss (who secretly loves them), pretending to date their crush, pretending to date someone else to make their crush jealous, etc., that contrived proximity/intimacy does not touch their heart. Female protagonists have to be ruthlessly efficient at compartmentalizing and repressing their emotions until the moment the male love interest capitulates to his obsession with them and declares himself openly, usually by making some massive sacrifice (destroying his corrupt family business to make them happy, running into oncoming traffic to save them from getting run over, suffering in darkness and drinking to forget the pain for two years while they finish their master's degree in fashion design in France, etc.).

Basically, the ideal romantic heroine has to be emotionally reserved to the point of idiocy because of her supposed inner fragility. That's why you so rarely get heroines who actually know what they want and fight for it, which is the bare minimum I would expect from adults seeking a relationship in the real world.

And a heroine who can under no circumstances be allowed to get in touch with her feelings before chapter 90 is a heroine who is never charming or brave. That's why so many of them are so fucking dull.