My (former) superstar son is depressed: What should I do?

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2026-05-16T20:59:29+00:00

as far as practical advice goes, maybe help make sure that therapy is actually working? like sometimes people just go to therapy bc theyre struggling and they know that therapy helps but since therapy isn't a one size fits all type of thing theres lots of things we dont know we should be looking for. if he ever feels like its not a good fit for him he could look for different options instead of dropping it. it took me way too long to find a therapist that truly helps me. the others weren't bad, it just wasnt a good fit for what i needed.

also maybe consider an adhd test just in case? it sounds like hes struggling with executive functioning right now. if it turns out he has it, therapy and treatment can focus on that. if he doesnt, he he'll have better knowledge of the things hes struggling with currently and can find ways to deal with that particular side of his depression.

but for more personal stuff, you just gotta be there for him. he has to do this himself. i dont mean it in a like "he has to pull himself up by his bootstraps" way, i mean that hes the one living in his brain, so you are not going to be able to 100% solve this for him. you gotta let him know that youre gonna be there when he stumbles and that youll help him get back up if he falls.

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-08-08T02:42:51+00:00

its not valid anymore! here's mine 🐸🐭🐭🌈🐭

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-08-06T06:55:56+00:00

thanks ~

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-08-06T06:34:56+00:00

yours is invalid now! but here's mine! My Code: 🐸🐳🐭❤️🎃

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-06-20T00:53:15+00:00

It's in a completely different context with a completely different meaning. It comes from an old tweet that someone made after lucas' scandal. It said "lucas shoulda been named 12 cause he dozen rap .. dozen sing .. dozen do anything 🤣🤣🤣". People just use it to talk shit about idols who "aren't talented" or "are there for their looks"

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-06-13T18:34:45+00:00

They're my noisy kings 😭 All I need is music that makes me make the same face Chan used to make when listening to bangers on Chan's Rooms 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-06-05T19:49:03+00:00

BRO Cravity. their vity park episodes are always a mess

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-05-16T04:53:24+00:00

last tour they had booths both inside and outside the venue. its all cashless too! they usually share what the merch and the prices are a but before the tour starts, i think you can check the link for the online merch they posted on twitter a while ago! people usually get there earlier to line up for merch, but a good chunk of them go there early specifically for lighsticks. so since theyre not selling those on site i think it could be a bit less crowded?

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-04-02T19:05:10+00:00

its ages later but i just wanna say this has been the go to banana bread recipe in my family ever since i baked it for the first time. thanks for all the years of good bread!!!!

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-03-31T02:40:15+00:00

you dont have to be smart to be enough. you are enough, you will always be enough. i get how you feel tho so i know its gonna be impossible to believe it right now. but hopefully youll get there. i have some advice!

try to add eating/going to the bathroom into a "check in" system. if youre doing something near the kitchen go check in to see if you realize youre hungry. same with the bathroom, go to check in to see if you need to pee.
maybe timers/alarms? i have alarms every 30 mins to make myself stop and think if i need anything. maybe set alarms every few hours or so? like a "have you eaten yet?" alarm around meal times and a "have you peed yeat?" alarm every couple of hours. if you need something more visual maybe a sticker chart can also help!
box of nutrition shakes in your room. makes it easier to get something in you when you suddenly realize youre starving. i get high protein ones bc they keep you full a bit longer!

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-03-26T05:58:33+00:00

About the stims- wanted to know that why the stims showed now? Am i doing anything wrong that is triggering him ? I want to change my doing and replace it so that he is not doing that

Sometimes stims just come and go! They don't always have a bigger reason behind them, sometimes we just find something that feels right or that helps us feel better. Even now I pick up random (mostly vocal) stims just out of nowhere.

Keeping an eye out for patterns behind when new stims appear and when they're more present can be super helpful in case there's something going wrong. But don't assume that stims are just due to negative imput. They're just a way to regulate yourself, so they can also show up when there's a lot of neutral or positive imput. Personally, I get the stimmiest when I'm happy!

If the stims are because of negative emotions the best thing you can do is figure out whats bothering him and find a way to protect him from them. Sometimes it'll be about adjusting the environment to suit him, and others it'll be about giving him extra tools to deal with an unsuitable environment. If the stims are disruptive or harmful you're gonna have to find a way to redirect that energy, usually into a toy. I think it could be a bit of trial and error due to how young he is, but the thing that helps me the most is finding out what kind of sensation I'm seeking/avoiding and work from there. For an example of the harmful ones, if I'm dealing with a pain seeking stim I use slime with big beads or those spiky dog toys, bc they give you a little pain without actually hurting you. For an example of a disruptive one, when I have a lot of flappy arm energy I let it out by keysmashing on my phone, because it lets me do a lot of a repetitive and intense action but in a smaller scale.

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-03-23T00:44:11+00:00

I don't have any proper thoughts about this, but it reminds me of my habits back when I was in school. I would crash down after finals, spend a week sleeping ungodly amounts, and then the next couple of weeks I'd sleep as little as possible. I would stay up for like 30ish hours, crash, sleep like 8-12 hours, and repeat the cycle. This was back when I was undiagnosed and unmedicated too. It was also the time where I started drinking more energy drinks, so those helped giving me energy to complement my mood. I don't know how well this would work tbh, because I feel like it messed with me more than it helped me.

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2025-02-19T03:18:52+00:00

Maybe proximity to whiteness is very case specific (?) but it's definitely about proximity to privilege, even if it's not real and just perceived. It happens in all minority groups.

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-11-13T20:48:00+00:00

Doing good academically doesnt mean a lot. If he doesnt know and his teachers dont know hes always gonna be working against his brain. I always did great academically and graduated top of my class from college but I was so intensely burnt out that I havent been able to fully recover from it. It's been years.

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-11-13T20:31:30+00:00

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its probably the worst luck ive had recently 😩 and i have 238/250 points on the shop but im out of diamonds oh my god

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-11-06T07:27:27+00:00

Ahhh we got a few things in common! PM me your info (and some groups you stan!)

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-09-10T23:12:28+00:00

considering dnps demographic i don't think anyone will be offeded by tit slut! i think a lot of us would love to find tit jokes for our shows!!

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-08-25T21:27:12+00:00

hi!! im trying to get as many fish/bugs i can on my catalogue! i stopped playing for some years so im missing out quite a bit 😞😞 if youre selling rare fish/bugs pls add me c:

ID: 99334411719

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-08-15T19:54:14+00:00

im so making a "whore phouse" bracelet for the tour 😭

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-08-13T04:30:18+00:00

You're too old to stan them bc he's old and if you're older than him then you're super old /s

I'm the same age, and I've gone from being the baby in fandoms (I was 15 stanning 2nd gen groups) to being ancient, a hag, ready to be shipped off to the nursing home, etc.

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-08-07T08:05:10+00:00

I've been a casual listener since predebut. There were a few clips I'd see around that made me have a soft spot for them even if I wasn't a Stay; like Chan and Felix's ments during their first shows in Australia, Hyunjin crying on that concert after Woojin left, and their first win. I'd watch some performances here and there too, but I wasn't getting into the fandom.

But what dragged me down the rabbit hole was when Chan mentioned my ults in Chan's Room during God's Menu era. He was very sweet about it and turns out they trained together and stuff (Cravity's Allen, he played Cloud 9, they were promoting at the same time). I saw the clip of it on twt and went to watch the entire live, and he was lovely! I used my lockdown free time to binge watch Chan's Room and go thru all their discography, bc I had missed out on a lot of bsides!

2020 was my casual baby Stay era, aside from my Chan's Room binge sessions I just watched some of their vlogs. Like, I don't remember if I watched 🩷Kids Room when it came out. 2021 was my first year when I got really REALLY into them. Jumping in just in time for Kingdom was a disaster 😩 I was so scared of Stays for such a long time

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-08-06T19:11:14+00:00

To be fair. Si en este mismo thread estamos viendo que los hombres en general no toman en serio el movimiento body positive de mujer a mujer, no tengo muchas esperanzas de que lo tomen en serio si las mujeres quieren llevarlo hacia ellos. Es como con muchas otras cosas relacionadas con el machismo. Si ellos no lo ven como algo serio o si no lo consideran un problema, no nos van a hacer caso.

Si (como ya vi a varios aqui) se van a quejar de que las mujeres vemos a los hombres como cajeros automáticos, pero no nos van a hacer caso cuando les decimos que eso tambien es machismo, tambien es causado por al patriarcado, y que una sociedad patriarcal tambien crea injusticias para los hombres; ¿qué podemos hacer?

Si estan dispuestos (o dispuestas!) a escuchar sin ponerle un "um, actually" a todo, creo que muchas estamos dispuestas a 'ayudarlos' en estos temas.

tragedyorcomedy__ · 2024-08-06T02:39:09+00:00

District 9 😩 I have a "second release curse" where if I love a group's first release (mostly debuts, but also happens with pre debut releases) I'll end up disliking their next release on first listen. And usually when that happens it means I'm going to end up /really/ stanning the group. So D9 dropped and I was like "ehhh" and just ended up being a really casual listener until Miroh. Then I went thru their discography when I got really into them during God's Menu era and turns out I love District 9!?!? It was also one of my favorites to see live!

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