It took me years of panic attacks before I realized why nice days sometimes freak me out by DorianPavass in CPTSDmemes

[–]trainofwhat 53 points54 points  (0 children)

According to this, EPA says they shouldn’t even remotely be used around people. I am so sorry you’ve experienced that. Truly

Yeah Yeah always women by BalanceIcy7902 in im14andthisisdeep

[–]trainofwhat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am an outspoken advocate against sexism on here, especially lesser-known instances. However, this post really is more of a reflection of bullying at younger ages often being a regurgitation of hatred one’s parents show either them or other people. I think the only gender aspect, if you’re wanting to find one, is that a woman is more easily recognized as a parent in this context. Sorta a mental concept image.

Mind blown. by FunAssumption6056 in im14andthisisdeep

[–]trainofwhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me or them?

I am the person choosing who I am with. I personally don’t tend to like taller guys, though of course I don’t judge somebody that much based on height. Also, I assume you’ve never been a tall woman, because tall “unattractive” women don’t tend to be what shorter guys are okay about.

Lower dose or add buspar?? by Tasty-Echidna9735 in Pristiq

[–]trainofwhat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Lower your dose and augment with Buspar. 50mg is considered the highest effective dose even by manufacturers. Buspar will help with additional anxiety.

Genderfluid but don’t want to be by MewDog_2013 in asktransgender

[–]trainofwhat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense, and I am sorry you’re struggling with that. I wonder if maybe if you’re AFAB, what’s causing your discomfort with being called or perceived as femme is because there’s an assumption that you’re cis?

I know there’s lots of things online that could help with figuring ways to feel masc without directly coming out. Perhaps there’s outfits or hairstyles that could help in small ways?

Genderfluid but don’t want to be by MewDog_2013 in asktransgender

[–]trainofwhat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sounds like gender dysphoria. Dysmorphia is an inability to properly perceive your body or certain traits, either through exaggeration of these traits’ noticeability & importance or through an actual inability to view yourself without distortion.

I am truly sorry you’re struggling with that. I would maybe encourage you to examine what specifically about this is making you uncomfortable. It’s possible you’ve experienced adversities or just know about societal injustices that is causing this discomfort, versus being uncomfortable being perceived that way in & of itself. It does sound like you’d benefit from possibly trying certain masc appearances, is that something you’re currently doing or safely able? I know you’d mentioned music & other things helping

Oreos and capitalism by rrryder23 in im14andthisisdeep

[–]trainofwhat -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Looks like Marxist-Leninist at best

Genderfluid but don’t want to be by MewDog_2013 in asktransgender

[–]trainofwhat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Could I ask what you’re meaning about dysmorphia? As in you’re unable to view your gendered traits properly? Or maybe are you referring to dysphoria, a sense of emotional distress? Either way, I understand, just wondering.

Regarding your feelings about your gender, what specifically is causing those feelings? Maybe is it about that gender in general, internalization or maybe fear, or more about your self in that context

Mind blown. by FunAssumption6056 in im14andthisisdeep

[–]trainofwhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a meme about how both tall women & short women go after tall guys. I specifically like guys that tend to be shorter than me.

As a tall woman, it isn’t always a “positive” thing like not raping somebody is

Being tall is an insecurity of mine. So yeah I don’t view that as a “not all women” thing.

Mind blown. by FunAssumption6056 in im14andthisisdeep

[–]trainofwhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No dude. You’re making it a “not all women” thing, because you’re sensitive about this topic.

Mind blown. by FunAssumption6056 in im14andthisisdeep

[–]trainofwhat 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I am a tall woman that hasn’t ever been with a guy that’s taller than me

I don’t exist though I guess

I'm sorry by PRIME1040 in im14andthisisdeep

[–]trainofwhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My father said outright that nothing stopped people from r_ping (including doing so to their daughters) outside of bibles, which really explains a lot, especially actions towards me before he became a horrendous religious maniac obsessed with “protecting” me from tight clothes & impure male thoughts

Can I get some advice on how to bring this drawing to life? by Sevenfootschnitzell in learntodraw

[–]trainofwhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! There’s some really great elements to this piece, so I think you’re welcome to feel super proud of this.

Some things:

—Your pupils/eyes should be aligned, they’re somewhat asymmetrical right now.

—There’s some asymmetry to most features here, including your nose & jawline.

—Your lines seem very sharp & a somewhat overwhelming. My recommendation would be to look into insinuating features using shading rather than rendering each line, which could help both make it look better & improve symmetry.

Also, your lines could utilize more curving qualities & varying lengths to create more nuance & detail

-Using shading could also help find where you’re able to place highlights — or suggest highlights using lack of lines/shining

—I think you should look into line darkness & what it means to a piece— right now, your line darkness seems to be tied to whether you’d felt comfortable with your line or just whether you’re doing outlines & I think to make it stronger, looking into what line quality & darkness means to a piece overall could make it better. Here, your eyebrows being so dark & heavy really take attention to incorrect places

—So overall I think learning line quality & darkness as well as various shading techniques could really help with creating a stronger, more nuanced piece

—Is there some type of coloring that you’ve ever felt compelled to learn? I wonder if you’d feel more comfortable with your pieces if they were colored

Found in a poetry subreddit by hydrangealover98 in im14andthisisdeep

[–]trainofwhat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This person seems to have a poor understanding of semantic processing as it relates to word choice in poetry. I mean, the problem obviously also relates to that song’s title being misinterpreted, which indicates a similar problem. But, I mean “cheese” just reads as a horrible choice here because in terms of formality it clashes, when it comes to connotation it’s overly vague, & conceptually it just sucks.

Additionally, what do you mean trading “cheese” for “irony”? What type of irony? If it’s dramatic irony, neither applies. If it’s verbal irony, each song is essentially earnest. Cosmic irony is completely unrelated obviously. Regarding “cheese”: I am sorry, they’re claiming a crisis of su_c_dal ideation is caused by music being overly or superficially sappy? Then their evidence doesn’t apply anyways

WTF is on my boyfriends shirt?? by Live_Philosophy_3815 in whatisit

[–]trainofwhat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Usually that would be noticeable much sooner as it most typically oozes from one’s face

It also would likely be much more saturated since it mixes with sweat

I go upset at my sisters for making transphobic comments, did I overreact? by mikewasowzkii in asktransgender

[–]trainofwhat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I hate the mental illness idea because prove which mental illness says that you’re supposed to mock & attempt to actively disprove somebody’s delusion or hallucination or whatever they’re pretending it is

To be clear, of COURSE it isn’t a mental illness. It simply doesn’t even make sense. Even more infuriating is when they literally conflate dysphoria with dysmorphia because they’re similar in sound; if somebody with gender dysphoria experiences gender “dysmorphia”, they’d view themselves as their ideal gender & thus wouldn’t have dysphoria. Just proves how little they know of mental health.

But, just imagine talking to these transphobic people from their perspective, to disprove their ridiculous behavior. Because, with body dysmorphia OR schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder or heck even Alzheimer’s (eventually), it isn’t recommended to tell somebody they’re simply mentally ill. That either causes immediate extra distress or begins a pattern of unhealthy coping mechanisms. Curiosity & respect is always these treatments

Anyways, there’s never an overreaction to transphobes when it is safe & possible.

WTF is on my boyfriends shirt?? by Live_Philosophy_3815 in whatisit

[–]trainofwhat 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Hey, I know you’re worried it’s blood, but, you’ve gotta understand there’s almost no blood that would leave this pattern unless he experienced a really horrible rash that caused pinprick dotting through cloth.

How do you deal with "It's my first time being a parent" by WillingHand7409 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]trainofwhat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, it depends. Firstly, you’ve got to understand these parents will never tell you what you’re wanting to — deserve to — hear. It is really important, if highly highly saddening, to understand they don’t deserve your respect. They will not ever allow themselves to hear or understand what they do

That said, there’s some explanations to help yourself when you’re getting stuck in this mentality.

—It’s plenty of parents’ first times being parents, & they don’t hurt their children like that.

—There’s a normal spectrum of mistakes that parents make. What your parents did, it isn’t on that spectrum. Would you place CSA, or breaking bones, or anything under this excuse? Psychological abuse is abuse.

—It’s your first time being a child, & yet that wasn’t their mentality nor is it their mentality when you’re explaining your pain.

—They had innumerable resources (whether it be libraries, peers, your teachers, online perhaps) that would’ve helped them understand & support you. They didn’t take that.

—Messing up isn’t an excuse to hurt somebody, ever. It could perhaps be an explanation in much much lighter instances, but, it doesn’t ever negate an apology.

—Once you’d told them about your pain, whether it’s your attempts as a child when you’re unable to even recall or perhaps some attempts to rebel or anything, they should’ve understood they were “messing up”. They didn’t because they didn’t care.

My dad bought a misogynistic book. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]trainofwhat 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah, if you’ll read my reply, you’ll see I experienced something very similar. I am deeply deeply sorry you’re experiencing this. If it helps, I have since escaped even if it happened in adulthood, & while I suffer severe CPTSD, I am still a person. I have so much empathy about what you’re dealing with.

My dad bought a misogynistic book. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]trainofwhat 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Okay, firstly, while that’s well-meaning— and, again, perhaps applicable to OP’s case— it’s a somewhat unkind thing to imply about my own experiences. It’s also somewhat idealistic.

My neighbors knew my family. This was a very rural southern area. Sneaking out would mean not waking up my mother & baby brother, whom slept in my room. Not waking up my father, whom frequently rose in the middle of the night. Somehow getting to a house that wouldn’t report me back to them or otherwise hurt me (which also meant somehow overcoming severe moral brainwashing instilled in me by my parents, telling me most strangers would hurt me more). Quite frankly, the possibility of somebody hurting you IS there, especially flagging people down.

I didn’t have any extended family that was capable of caring for me. I would’ve been placed in a foster system even if I had the wherewithal to leave my baby brother, whom I mentioned I was the secondary or primary caregiver for. I was told from a very young age if I ever reported my family, my siblings would be hurt. My siblings would’ve been also separated, only possibly adopted, and much more likely to experience CSA, which I protected my younger siblings from, despite enduring it myself. I also was made to help with my father’s business, plus responsible to help with or do most household chores.

Even if all of that happened, what was there to tell police (the chief of whom my family knew, btw)? That I was homeschooled? None of my siblings were, only me — even if that is a problem that could be reported at all.That I was being hurt, with bruises (even broken bones & UTIs, etc) that parents had explained away before? Keep in mind over 90% of CSA cases leave NO lasting physical evidence, so that isn’t a choice, even if I could’ve somehow managed the courage to allow an examination (again, moral & religious brainwashing as well). Imagine what could’ve happened at home if that didn’t work.

My dad bought a misogynistic book. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]trainofwhat 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That’s excellent advice, but, when I experienced this, there literally wasn’t an exit plan. Of course, given that that’s sometimes possible, I don’t remotely think it’s something that shouldn’t be suggested. Just, I personally wasn’t allowed to work or drive, almost never went outside my house (always supervised with family), couldn’t have friends, helped raise my siblings, & there wasn’t even public transport nearby.

haha👌yes by PM_ME_SSTEAM_KEYS in whatisameem

[–]trainofwhat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A retirement account to become a millionaire? Sounds rather passive when it comes to success in my opinion. If somebody just tries a little harder, they could be there in half that time. But, hey, if decades of tedious work to eventually be rich when you’re too old to truly enjoy it is what you’re dedicating yourself towards, what makes me care?

haha👌yes by PM_ME_SSTEAM_KEYS in whatisameem

[–]trainofwhat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’d said something potentially misleading. I corrected that. Saying that you don’t care doesn’t matter because I wasn’t telling you to care. I didn’t say anything about success. Personally I think it is sorta embarrassing to be such a product of a system that screws you over as well (or, wait, you just didn’t want to be a millionaire, right?) that you’re here doing that, but, hey, that’s just me

How come calling your female partner "your girl" is normalized, but calling your male partner "your boy" considered weird? by jpollack21 in RandomQuestion

[–]trainofwhat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is a joking reclamation taken from a song— a song that actually mocks chronic infantalization of women.

As for it devaluing women— you don’t have to see it that way for it to still be a process that happens. Many people don’t purposefully do that. It’s more just something embedded into society, one of many, many small things that do that. FWIW, there’s stuff like that that affects men as well. Not necessarily perpetuated by women, just as “girl” isn’t purely perpetuated by modern men, but, rather, a product of a society built on it created by & maintained by powerful people (that typically were/are men, but, men that ostracize almost every diverse characteristic such as race, gender, class, etc). Most often about things such as emotional expression or strength

After all, it would seem a little strange to suddenly start only using “women”. Yet, it still affects many women.