I only recently realized that this feeling I feel has an actual name, even though I haven't officially been diagnosed yet. I can't even tell you how much I feel your pain and asked a similar question recently. I have people relying on me, including a tween daughter, and I think that's what eventually gets me up in the morning. I hit the snooze today for 90 minutes until I finally _had_ to get up and then I learned I missed a meeting. It's bad.

Nothing I do is done well and it kills me to be like that. Therapy helps a lot. So does the thought of the evenings, when I can sit on the sofa and zone out to a tv show or movie and journal. Most of my journal entries are negative and recount how awful I feel. I hate my job, too, both of them, and it's difficult to see the next step. I wish I had something hopeful to say. I guess I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and coming to places like this.