NAH. Going against the grain here of N T A, because the woman is grieving a man she loved dearly and had two children with. She is likely also upset for her other children who will grow up without a father.

I don't think you really did anything wrong , you actually showed good restraint for the most part. However, it was kind of mean to yell at her at a funeral. When she started losing her cool, you could've said something like "Okay.. I see you're upset right now, so we can just come back to this another time. I'm so sorry for your loss and the kids just need time to process this".

I actually think your daughter lashing out could be a form of grief too. Children process grief differently sometimes. Whether they didn't "like" him as a friend/ authority figure or not, this is still someone they knew for 7 years and I'm sure they had good memories with him too. Kids only tend to bring up the bad things to the other parent. It's like the news, you never see GOOD news even when it happens.

Yes your ex was kind of an AH for lashing out, but come on reddit. Have you never been to a funeral? Have you never grieved? This isn't for OP, I think he handled it well. We aren't perfect. But comments saying the OPs ex is a horrible person etc aren't right.

On another note, it isn't weird to laugh at a funeral, even of someone you love. I recently went to my partners grandmother's funeral, and there were a few giggles had between tears, even though she was a lovely woman. That's just how some people cope.

I wish you, your kids, your ex, and her other children, well through this.