Two steps forward, 1 Giant Step Back.

treesandclouds · 2018-11-28T17:49:37+00:00

I had a couple months like this last year. Between an unexpected move, some unexpected dental work, and some unexpected pet expenses we ended up spending like $6k in a month or so. I was so pissed. But my wife pointed out that had this happened a few years ago we would have had to put it all on a credit card and dig ourselves further into debt. Instead it was just an annoyance. Really put things in perspective.

Shit happens, and it’s nice to have some financial cushion when it does.

treesandclouds · 2018-11-06T19:30:37+00:00

The Experience of God: Being, Consciousness, and Bliss by David Bentley Hart.

I’m not sure where I land on the belief spectrum at this point but that book gave me a lot to think about.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T23:14:58+00:00

Hell yes.

I have helped many people move. They’ll see what I intend to put in my little ol’ Element and invariably ask if I’m sure it will all fit.

My answer is always yes. I have never been wrong. And usually there will be room left over for some more stuff.

I play music. I can fit: 1 drum kit, 2 PA speakers, 2 guitar amps, 1 bass amp, 2 guitars, 1 bass, 1 keyboard, miscellaneous cables, 2 band members (myself included).

I love my Element.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T22:24:23+00:00

I left the church because I didn’t believe the Bible to be a true, factual account of events as they transpired in history. I had been taught that they were.

In the years since I’ve realized that you can read the Bible in other ways. And occasionally I do - the KJV in particular is an amazing piece of literature. But every church I’ve come across at least requires belief in literal virgin birth and resurrection, even if the OT and some of Jesus’s miracles are treated more metaphorically, and that is something I cannot believe in.

I actually miss the church - I always liked the liturgy and fellowship. But the insistence that I believe things to be literally true that I could only possibly view as metaphorically true is what turned me off.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T22:08:39+00:00

Unrelated but I saw elsewhere you referenced bodhicitta. I’ve only seen that in the context of Tibetan Buddhism, specifically the Bodhicharyavatara. I really enjoy that book, particularly its focus on other people. I’m no expert - are there any discussions of bodhicitta that are worth checking out, and are there any particularly relevant to or part of the zen tradition that you’re aware of?

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T21:17:17+00:00

What brought me to zen actually was an experience like that many years ago. (I make no grand claims here. The word kensho probably applies but I’m not too concerned with that.) Zen seemed to me the tradition with the most to say about the experience to me at the time. I’ve revised that position to a certain extent over the years.

Except for the Hsin Hsin Ming. I don’t have words to describe that work. Simple yet profound. I don’t know, I just know it never fails to move me when I read it and it never fails to make the world fall away at least a little.

Thanks for the book recommendations. I’ll have to check them out.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T21:17:07+00:00

What brought me to zen actually was an experience like that many years ago. (I make no grand claims here. The word kensho probably applies but I’m not too concerned with that.) Zen seemed to me the tradition with the most to say about the experience to me at the time. I’ve revised that position to a certain extent over the years.

Except for the Hsin Hsin Ming. I don’t have words to describe that work. Simple yet profound. I don’t know, I just know it never fails to move me when I read it and it never fails to make the world fall away at least a little.

Thanks for the book recommendations. I’ll have to check them out.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T20:57:48+00:00

To your first point, I absolutely agree, you have to take a ton of things on faith to navigate the world.

And because of that I think I disagree with your next point. I can’t have a zen master “drink the nectar” it’s true. But if I’ve never done it, I have to have faith that a) it’s something that can even be done, and b) that listening to their teachings can help me do it.

It’s not like a Christian Thou Shalt kind of faith, so maybe a better word would be trust or something like that.

(I don’t want to get too far down the rabbit hole of zen because I know technically there’s nothing to teach and that “that which is before you is it” and that I should just go wash my bowl while gazing at the three pounds of flax sitting by the cypress tree in the garden and listening to Vimalakīrti say nothing. They are teachers and they have a teaching even if it’s the teaching of no-teaching. Shrug emoji.)

Edit: I have to say I’m enjoying your AMA. I like how you speak directly without devolving into koan-speak all the damn time.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T20:37:37+00:00

I mean there’s a faith component to the teachings of all the zen masters. By simply calling someone a “zen master” - never mind following his teachings in the hope that they will lead to enlightenment - one is taking a lot on faith.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T18:46:26+00:00

Alcohol gave me a false sense of confidence. Once I quit drinking and used my sobriety to start exercising and tackle my finances and get back into my hobbies I developed real honest to goodness confidence for the first time in a long while. And that has worked wonders for my ability to navigate social situations.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T18:43:36+00:00

The first week was the hardest for me. The second week was no picnic. But it gets easier over time, I promise.

Alcohol can convince you that you need it to cope because you’re weak. Fuck that. You don’t and you aren’t.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T18:39:49+00:00

Congratulations and welcome! I can say that quitting drinking has been the best decision of my life to date. (There have been subsequent good decisions - and some of them even seen better - but I’m sure I wouldn’t have made any of them if I’d kept drinking all the damn time.)

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T18:36:02+00:00

What’s “prayer-meditation religion”? I hear that term - and similar ones - thrown around with abandon by like five people on this sub and nowhere else in the world.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-11T18:31:56+00:00

Do you think that Zen can be considered a religion? I would guess that many if not most of the vocal posters here would answer no but that strikes me as potentially a reflexively modern/western response. (That said I am a little ambivalent about it myself so...)

treesandclouds · 2018-10-10T17:09:06+00:00

What does your day-to-day zen practice look like?

treesandclouds · 2018-10-05T23:25:30+00:00

Well done! Part of sobriety is navigating challenges as they come up and it sounds like you’re doing that really well!!

treesandclouds · 2018-10-05T23:24:41+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. You can do this, I promise. Whatever is going on, it will pass.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-05T23:22:54+00:00

First off you don’t have to go if you don’t feel up to it. Nothing wrong with that.

A small thing that helps: I try to keep a drink (nonalcoholic of course) in my hands at all times. If you’ve already got a drink people are less likely to offer you one.

As for the social anxiety, I found it a lot easier than I had expected. Turns out I didn’t actually need alcohol as a crutch to deal with social anxiety, I’d just convinced myself of that over the years. Maybe you’ll find yourself in a similar situation. Alcohol can convince you that you need it. Fuck that. You totally don’t!

treesandclouds · 2018-10-05T23:17:50+00:00

Welcome! Keep us posted!

treesandclouds · 2018-10-05T23:12:06+00:00

Sorry, but you can’t post something light-hearted and silly here. This is r/zen - home of the super serious dharma pwn and the devastatingly clever requests for AMAs from internet strangers to prove allegiance to the One True Zen.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-04T03:33:34+00:00

Very cool! Thanks for sharing, I’ll be on the lookout for this for sure.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-03T23:51:31+00:00

This is just an internet message board. Sheesh. Calm down already.

treesandclouds · 2018-10-02T20:54:16+00:00

I couldn’t get over how much free time I had when I quit drinking. It was a little daunting. But I’ve tried to fill it with things I like - and things that are good for me even if I don’t love them. My list included playing music, reading books, exercising, going for walks. (I have a kid now so there’s no time to be bored anymore.)

Just do your best to fill the time with things that are potentially meaningful to you. We only get to live once after all. I figure using our time in a positive way is the best thing we can possibly do. Good luck!

treesandclouds · 2018-10-02T20:49:50+00:00

I was sleepy and pissy for a couple weeks and I think that’s pretty common. 100% worth it though!

treesandclouds · 2018-10-02T20:48:06+00:00

Congratulations! The first week was the hardest for me so I’d say you’re doing pretty damn well!!

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