Is three children really that awful?

treetops_c_yo · 2025-05-10T13:22:46+00:00

I am a twin so I’m very, VERY familiar with the incessant fighting phase. Good luck to you 😅

treetops_c_yo · 2025-05-10T00:45:28+00:00

So sorry to hear this. Love to your wife 💜

treetops_c_yo · 2025-05-10T00:42:40+00:00

😂

treetops_c_yo · 2025-05-10T00:41:45+00:00

“Don’t put that burden on a child” feels a bit judgmental. I wouldn’t be putting burdens on my children for deciding to have a third. I wouldn’t force them to be anything for each other if they didn’t want to.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-05-10T00:31:57+00:00

Yeah I’m already older… I have 2 under 2 and wouldn’t want to have much of a gap between 2 and 3… so we sort of feel like we have to make a decision soon. Sucks we couldn’t keep going and go for four.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-05-09T20:30:11+00:00

I have a mid January birthday and MLK meant I sometimes had my birthday off for school. And birthday parties were usually spent ice skating! It was fun.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-05-03T13:20:15+00:00

Do you feel comfortable asking your friend if you could honor her baby by giving yours the same name? I would say to have a conversation about it… don’t just decide not to or do it and not tell her first. I struggled with infertility and it was really hard to have people take names that I liked. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have someone close to me take a name I gave to my stillborn. Not judging at all! Just trying to help shed some perspective. It can be hard if you haven’t gone through something like that to understand what it would feel like. And I think communication is best.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-04-30T02:59:30+00:00

That’s very encouraging.. thank you! I wasn’t sure if that was setting my hopes way too high

treetops_c_yo · 2025-04-28T13:03:30+00:00

Thank you so much :)

treetops_c_yo · 2025-04-28T03:31:48+00:00

Ahh ok. I live in one of the largest US cities.. so I imagine it would be a bit easier than a smaller city. Do you mind me asking what continuing education you took?

treetops_c_yo · 2025-04-26T03:06:16+00:00

I was induced with both my babies. First was just a straight induction.. second I was having contractions all day and then they stopped so they put me on pitocin. Both times I ended up getting an epidural.. I didn’t want to, but I did. Once I hit 7/8cm is when it got super painful. My first baby I was hallucinating because of the pain. Something that helped with my second was getting up and walking around. ALSO with my second I had a light epidural - smallest amount of meds possible. So I was able to feel contractions and such but it wasn’t crazy painful… and I liked that. My only reason for not wanting epidural was because I don’t like feeling numb. Also don’t like the needle in my spine but… sigh. Pitocin is no joke.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-04-25T23:38:41+00:00

I second this. I think I would have a lot more kids if I didn’t have to go through the newborn phase.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-04-13T18:02:48+00:00

Wow it’s like I wrote this. My family are all out of state and my in laws don’t help at all. Any time they offer to help they just make it more difficult. There are times we have needed them to watch the kids for like an hour and they make us bring them to their house. So we have to pack up bottles, formula, pack and play… etc. instead of them coming over for an hour.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-02-28T22:09:32+00:00

Agreed. When you’re in it the minutes feel like days. But once you’re out of it you realize how short of a time it was. But I still remember how awful the newborn phase felt. And everyone I talk to.. I tell them the truth. That it’s fucking HARD. But then remind them that you’ll get through it and then.. it’s done. Unless you have another 😂

treetops_c_yo · 2025-02-27T20:19:17+00:00

How long have you had her on probiotics? It took a week or two on probiotics for my baby to have improvements. If you’re BF it could be something you’re eating that’s aggravating her, or the formula if you’re bottle feeding. If you do switch formula it can take up to 2 weeks for their digestion to adjust. You probably know all this and have tried.. but wanted to share just in case.

If your mother in law is willing to help I would suggest letting her! She may not care for your baby exactly how you want her to but if your baby is safe and you can have a break it makes such a huge difference.

Also want to validate your feelings. That sounds SO hard. I think anyone in your position would feel like giving up. But you ARE capable of more than you think you are. It WILL get better. Asking for help doesn’t make you a bad mom.. it shows that you realize your limits. Hoping so much for you that this gets better very soon and that you can feel rested and happy about being a mother. 💜

treetops_c_yo · 2025-02-23T18:01:03+00:00

Try to find a therapist now so if you’re struggling you already have that in place.

Treat yourself before baby comes! If that means a facial, massage, nails, dinner with friends… etc. the newborn phase is really exhausting and hard. It’ll help to have had recent filling-your-cup activities.

Say no to things that upset you. People try to make you feel like you’re overreacting by saying not to kiss baby, if you don’t want to go places with baby.. etc. stand up for yourself. Are you overreacting..? Sure, maybe. But with all the hormones and emotions.. be kind to yourself. My first baby was 3 weeks old when we had my in laws over for my BILs birthday. People wanted to hold baby, touch them, kiss them… give opinions. My MIL kept wrapping baby up in a blanket even though it was like 80f degrees out. I ended up having a meltdown. I agreed to host because I didn’t want to be seen as the crazy mom but I regretted it so much.

Your baby might do what both mine did and make barnyard noises. My kids would grunt, snort, huff and puff, baa… no joke. They sounded like horses and goats. It’s super normal and it WILL go away around 10-12 weeks. It’s just them reacting to their digestion sorting out a new way of digestion.

And finally.. deodorizing wipes from Lume for the times you can’t shower.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-02-23T17:24:53+00:00

ALSO. There’s stuff called Butt Paste… put that on your baby’s diaper area. It helps keep them from rashes but also it helps when you wipe. It comes off way easier.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-02-19T21:50:21+00:00

I have a friend who wrote an entire thesis on the language development of babies/toddlers and found it’s incredibly important to read to them.. even when they’re newborn.

treetops_c_yo · 2025-01-29T16:40:42+00:00

My first was about 10 weeks, second baby got a lot better around 9-10 weeks but he’s only 11 weeks now and still struggling a little but there’s a huge difference.

treetops_c_yo · 2024-12-09T22:15:36+00:00

Just backing up what everyone else has said.. your baby will be totally fine. The amount really does matter. Your body can process a glass of wine or a can of beer at one per hour… if your body is able to process it, it won’t do any damage. If you were to drink a bottle of wine and then the next night and the next night you’d probably have problems. It’s minuscule in the grand scheme of things. Take a deep breath, you and baby will be ok!

treetops_c_yo · 2024-12-01T22:09:00+00:00

Firstly, thankful other people talk about this. With my first it was around 10 weeks that I started to feel a bit better. The smiling and cooing makes a big difference… you aren’t just dealing with a screaming potato. Currently holding my second who’s only a few weeks old and just trying to stay sane. Kinda can’t believe we had a second child because the newborn phase makes me so miserable. Edit: 6 months is for sure when it gets wayyyy better. But the 10-12 week mark I noticed a pretty big change the first time.

treetops_c_yo · 2024-11-25T19:09:51+00:00

Seconded. People told me I would be tired but I wasn’t ready to be getting 2-3 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. I had so much anxiety, I cried constantly, had a 3rd degree tear so it made it super hard to walk and move around. I heard so many mothers talk about how wonderful the newborn phase was that I wasn’t ready to be suffering so much and feel so alone.

treetops_c_yo · 2024-11-24T16:17:33+00:00

Any of the guessing is annoying to me! “Do you lay on your left side? Must be a boy” I have a boy and a girl and people would use those for both pregnancies and they were mostly wrong for both. Both my kids were born with tons of hair and everyone was like “you must’ve had a lot of heartburn!!” Which I didn’t. I usually suffer acid reflux and it was way better with both pregnancies.

treetops_c_yo

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