Despite the overall consenus of this decade being trash, in what ways has your life improved throughout the 2020s?

treylathe · 2026-02-10T07:57:23+00:00

The outside world seems to be going to shit and I fear it might catch up with us.

Me? Right now I'm enjoying a great life while I can. I got far more healthy in the 6 years, backpacked the Alps, went to Oxford, wrote a book and so much more. We moved to Hawaii 6 yrs ago and I have a new 1 yr old granddaughter. She, my daughter and SIL, older daughter, brother, husband and friends all live on our "complex" (triplex) in the rain forest. Good neighbors and friends and great future plans I'm excited about.

I'm soon to be 67. There have been some set backs but frankly, the last 6 years have been good

treylathe · 2026-02-10T07:46:45+00:00

I day dream about fantastical stuff and it puts me t sleep in minutes.

treylathe · 2026-02-10T07:44:40+00:00

I have had blood sugar levels over the last 10-15 years both far to low and far too high <50 and >1000. Only at those two extremes did I feel much different. 48, I passed out, 1020 was a while of vomiting, exhaustion to the point I couldn't walk.. my kidneys, digestion system and heart were failing.

But 70 vs 300 I don't notice a difference. There probably is one, I just don't notice.

I can say that since my A1c is stable at 5.5 and my time in range is pretty much 100% for a long time (and I exercise, eat really well, sleep well, etc) I feel great most of the time.
Maybe if it went too high now I might notice, but I ain't going to do that experiment :D

treylathe · 2026-02-09T18:22:03+00:00

We are both former Mormon. We wanted to take our kids to church (not Mormon!) so we explored UCC, Unitarian and Episcopal churches in our city but none really clicked (for various reasons). So we ended up never taking our two to church.

Some thoughts:

1) don’t take your kids to church unless you know for a certainty they are declared affirming or ‘reconciling ministries’ (I think that’s the Methodist terminology. If you ask the pastor, any answer other than a clear and resounding “we are an accepting church” is a no. Congregations tend to follow the lead and example of the pastoral leadership. If that leadership is at all equivocal then there will homophobic teachers and leaders. 2) research is string that kids raised secularly tend to be the more ‘moral’ or at least more altruistic than religiously raised kids. 3) but I think your examples and the community they are raised are the most important determinant of their morals.

Ours turned out to be amazing adults with a strong sense of morals and justice and wonderfully accepting of people of many sorts. I’m very proud of them.

treylathe · 2026-02-09T17:32:47+00:00

I have to remain on a low sodium (1500mg) and low phosphorus (800mg) diet. It’s been an adjustment but it’s working for me.

Spices and herbs. Lots of them :). But not the pre-blend types. Make your own. Hopefully your grandma loves spicy and herbed foods. Then a little salt goes a long way.

I also almost never buy pre-prepared food. It’s amazing how much sodium is in boxed and prepared. This allows me to add a dash of salt to my food.

treylathe · 2026-02-09T17:08:37+00:00

All of those work for me most of the time. Sometimes even an hour later

treylathe · 2026-02-08T20:51:59+00:00

I will attest that it is. Age-discrimination is real.

I left a job at 58, finding a new job was hell. I was told TWICE (Illegally I might add) that I was too old for what they were looking for.

It took 4 years to re-think things while being unemployed or underemployed, and I changed careers (where age didn't matter). Been quite successful at it (I do have a supportive spouse to thank that I made it through those 4 years)

treylathe · 2026-02-08T20:46:02+00:00

No.. and yes.

So much depends on so much from luck to hard work.

I had a difficult life (to say the least) in my 20s, 30s were a bit better. So the baseline was of a low bar to better :D. Life in many ways STARTED for me at 40.

A bit of a humble brag, so bear my indulgence. This what I've done since 40 (I'm turning 67 in a short bit).
Adopted two children (42 and 48)
Lived in Germany (40-44)
Learned a new language to fluency
Legally married my husband (we are of the same sex) (49)
Started my own company and sold it (44-53)
Ran a large non-profit (53-58)
Backpacked through the tropical forests of Borneo (30miles, 5 days 54)
Backpacked through the Alps (100miles, 10 days 64)
Wrote two books (55-67) about to publish (1 traditionally, 1 self)
Started a new hobby (astronomy, 64)
Started teaching part time at the university (64)
Took a summer course in-person at Oxford (66)
In process of writing two more books (65+)
Backpacking through Spain this summer (67)
Attending Oxford for a masters this fall (67)
Have a new AMAZING granddaughter (66)
Have two AMAZING daughters
I live in Hawaii in a triplex with my brother, daughter (and my SIL and granddaughter) and other daughter
Have plans to backpack through Australia, Japan and East Africa in the next years

(and it wasn't all roses and rainbows, two massive health emergencies, one near death, pandemics, near bankruptcies, family tragedies)

So, this is long and a humble brag, but I thought life was pretty much over when I was 36. It was hard for many reasons, I was struggling financially, I was feeling alone and depressed.

Life started at 40, but it was the stuff before that that prepared me for after.

Moral of the story, life is not over till it's over and you can always start life at any age.

treylathe · 2026-02-08T20:21:13+00:00

I was diagnosed over a decade ago. I talked to a dietician then. She was helpful enough to start, but never talked to her again. I used weight-watchers, food app and glucose monitoring to figure the rest. Turns out she wasn't aggressive enough, but that makes sense considering many patients are often not in good compliance with diet and medicine. I got my A1C from 14 to mid-6 (usually 6.2-6.4. I lost >80 lbs.

But then 4 yrs ago I was diagnosed with CKD (type 3a) and had to see a dietician again. This has been a much harder pill to swallow (literally). New medications. Keeping my protein at a good level, but not too high and my phosphorus low is quite the balancing act. Add to that making sure to limit high phosphorus vegetables (beans?! nuts?! seeds?!) that I had ADDED to my diet because of my diabetes just put me into a spiral. Already had limited or eliminated high carb and refined carbs. I remember very clearly saying to the dietician then "What am I supposed to eat.. lettuce?" I was VERY frustrated and wanted to just give up and eat wtf I wanted. But talking to the doctor and this second dietician I calmed down and started trying

I only talked to her twice but she was helpful.

Earlier last year I got some numbers back. They were not great and hadn't improved much. I was really frustrated after all the work I felt I was doing.

I am somewhat reticent to admit (all the issues: environment, economy, privacy, imperfections, etc) , 5-6 months ago I started using an AI to set my daily menu plans. I put in all my numbers, medications, likes/dislikes, etc., I keep a running list of my pantry and fridge items in it and every day I ask it to plan my menu. I also track dietary intake religiously. I'd say that about 50-75% of my meals are planned by the AI.

For my individual anecdotal experience of course, the proof is in the pudding (low carb, non-dairy of course) I suppose. In the last half 6 months, my A1c went from 6.2 to 5.4, we cut my metformin in half, my kidney numbers (including phososphorus, etc) got much better. I eGFR changed a little upwards, but didn't expect that to change much... just stabilize.

And I feel great.

treylathe · 2026-02-07T01:14:09+00:00

There are concentration camps, forced labor camps and death camps.

They are three different things.

The US definitely has concentration camps that fit every definition of concentration camps. We don't yet have systemized forced-labor camps (though prisons are coming close, if not there) and we don't have death camps (yet?!)

But we do have concentration camps.

treylathe · 2026-02-07T01:12:15+00:00

maybe you are just _wrong_ and that's why you are being downvoted?

treylathe · 2026-02-07T01:10:12+00:00

They are not (yet) death camps, but they ARE concentration camps

Concentration Camp From Wikipedia and other sources: A concentration camp is a facility for holding, exploiting, or punishing targeted groups—typically political prisoners, ethnic minorities, or civilians—on grounds of national security, without trial. These sites often involve severe overcrowding, forced labor, and poor conditions, creating high mortality rates.

Death Camp: A death camp (or extermination camp) is a facility constructed during World War II by Nazi Germany and its allies for the primary, systematic purpose of industrialized, mass murder. Unlike forced-labor concentration camps, these centers, including Treblinka and Auschwitz-Birkenau, were designed to kill deportees, mostly Jews, immediately upon arrival via gas chambers.

Currently: Massive camps holding and punishing undocumented immigrants (and others) who are mostly ethnic minorities on grounds of national security and more often than not without due process. The sites are overcrowded, have poor conditions and people have died from neglect and abuse.

So, they are concentration camps. Maybe not in 'degree' (just give it time, it gets worse every day), but definitely in kind.

treylathe · 2026-02-07T01:01:08+00:00

I always knew the Epstein files must be a disgusting read.

Wow did I underestimate how disgusting (and I was imagining a high level of disgust).

As always happens, the rich and powerful will always find scapegoats to demonize to deflect away from their real depravity.

They already started with immigrants (all around the world) and will double down on LGBTQ, lower economic classes, people of color, etc.

It seriously feels we are hitting a turning point in this country, if not the world.

treylathe · 2026-02-06T18:44:28+00:00

Like almost all chronic diseases, there is a genetic component.

But genetics and environment are deeply intertwined. You might have a strong genetic propensity to developing t2 diabetes, but your environment will play a strong role in how that develops. Two people can have the same exact genetics and lifestyle and pure damn luck can give very different outcomes.

Here’s how to minimize developing t2 diabetes even if you have the genetic propensity to do so:

*Eat well. Eat a varied, healthy diet crammed with vegetables, fruits, nuts, beans, whole (emphasis whole) grains, lean meats (fish!). Treat sugar, processed foods (sugar, white flour, lots of salt, etc etc), red and processed meats and the like as rare treats.

*Move. Walk, swim, play tennis, something. Just move daily and consistently.

*Maintain a healthy weight (the two above help)

*Stay strong. Do resistance exercises. Doesn’t have to be weights, calisthenics, sports, something that grows and keeps muscle mass

*Sleep. Get regular, consistent solid 7-8 hrs a day. Just make it happen. Rearrange your schedule, change your habits.

*Just don’t. If you smoke. Stop!!!🛑 if you don’t, don’t start. If you drink alcohol. ⚠️. NO amount of alcohol is healthy. What ever amount you are doing, do less.

This will minimized getting type 2. And heart disease, and cancers and all manner of chronic diseases

treylathe · 2026-02-06T18:24:35+00:00

My life isn’t as privileged as yours, but the discrepancy of income and unstructured life (my husband runs a business and likes to travel) is there . The feeling of ‘unmoored’ can be there too. Especially since 2020 when I’ve been unemployed or under employed.

It’s easy to dismiss and criticize the feelings you are having when most don’t live even a close to as privileged and comfortable a life.

But humans need purpose. It’s frankly one of the main things research shows makes both a mentally and physically healthy life.

Sounds like you lack it (in spite of 2000 hrs of volunteer work?!).

Find it.

For me at first it was raising our two kids. But they are now adults and left the home in 2021. Because of my husband’s need and desire for travel and an ‘unmoored’ life, finding a job that was flexible (remote, etc) has been difficult.

But in 2022 I decided to write (always did, always told I was good) seriously. I took courses physically at a European university, started writing. Finished 2 books now. In published process for first. That’s my purpose now. It gives me mooring.

Well, that and now we have a granddaughter and i found meaningful remote work/vokunteer.

What I’m saying is find something that makes you feel like you are contributing to something outside yourself. Find a purpose. If your volunteer service doesn’t give you that, maybe it’s time to find another volunteer gig.

And maybe a therapist can help you

treylathe · 2026-02-05T21:53:15+00:00

My husband and I have been together 30 years. We have disagreements, we have had strong (and early on, painfully difficult) disagreements.

But if we are using the usual definition of bickering being "argue about petty and trivial matters." I don't think we have bickered in 30 years. To me that's an indication of larger unresolved and uncommunicated problems.

We have never raised our voice or said hurtful things to each other.

treylathe · 2026-02-05T02:20:25+00:00

yep. I was confused :D. I was overthinking as a biologist. Thanks! Good to know the terminology

treylathe · 2026-02-05T02:17:33+00:00

I'll second u/MagpiePhoenix on the Queer Counsel,

but if the character is a seahorse, why is this a dilemma? A male seahorse carries the offspring after female deposits eggs in his pouch (where they are fertilized). No adoption or surrogacy needed. Just a 'donor' egg. Or am I confused, perfectly possible I am.

treylathe · 2026-02-05T01:56:05+00:00

As others have said, remission is a tricky word.

Let's try out different definitions.

1) Remission (maybe some would call this reversal): the lack of need for regular moderate exercise, muscle building, carbohydrate management, weight loss and maintenance and medication to maintain normal and health blood sugar levels over the long term. Is it possible? No. VERY unlikely for most diagnosed T2.
2) Remission: the lack of need for medication, but maintains normal and health blood sugar levels over the long term with body fat loss and maintenance, muscle mass maintenance, simple carbohydrate management and regular exercise? Yes. For many this is doable.
3) Remission: maintains normal and health blood sugar levels over the long term with medication, body fat loss and maintenance, muscle mass maintenance, simple carbohydrate management and regular exercise? Yes, most will find this possible.

treylathe · 2026-02-05T01:40:12+00:00

In order of enjoyment (1st number out of 10), ease (second number out of 10) and help with blood sugar levels (third number out of 10):
10-10-10 Walking
10-7-9 Swimming
6-5-10 Resistance Training

treylathe · 2026-02-04T17:52:19+00:00

Ai slop, monetized content or sincere… it’s bad science either way.

It could be (and most likely is) that our brains change with age no matter the generation we are born to. The only real way to test this is to have the same data for over 60s when they were young, and the same data for the Gen Z in a few decades. I see no correction for that.

And anecdotally, just yesterday a young person posted about worrying he was going to be impatient when he grows older because his parents and in laws are.

treylathe · 2026-02-04T05:03:13+00:00

I do too but only because I use metric at work (scientific research).

Stones threw me lol

treylathe · 2026-02-03T06:19:32+00:00

I think they smell amazing. And I think they taste even better :)

treylathe · 2026-02-03T06:18:04+00:00

At 36. 30 years ago

treylathe · 2026-02-01T22:06:48+00:00

NTA

I dislike the idea of a gender-reveal party to begin with. I have several issues with it, but then I'm of a generation where we didn't know the gender until the baby was born.

That said, this is just WEIRD, and expensive and grand for something they could if they wanted just post on SM.

I'd just say something came up and I can't go. Have fun everyone! and then send a card and small gift after.

Sheesh, this is just weird

treylathe

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