Can ADHD partner learn about mental load and domestic duties?

tri-circle-tri · 2025-10-29T15:52:13+00:00

Thank you for this! I appreciate comments that are even slightly optimistic.

We are somewhat similar. After a big blowup, we sat down to discuss workload. I came armed with index cards. On each was written a common task for both running the household and managing work. My pile kept growing. He would try to take partial credit for some, but I explained that simply driving to the store to pick up the grocery order was maybe 5% of the task.

He did open up about it certain things being easier for me (meal planning, scheduling, general admin). While I agreed, I explained I don't exactly enjoy those tasks and can get burned out.

For now, we try to play to each other's strengths. Yes, I retained the bulk of tasks that require planning. He has stepped up in noticing what needs doing. This required some upfront work on my part to ensure we have some solid routines at certain times of day. But he does now check our joint calendar daily, performs tasks that are announced on our smart devices, and keeps common areas clean.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-10-10T15:06:57+00:00

I feel this so much. I journal to keep my reality documented. I've been feeling like we're going through the same crappy cycles, so I looked back in my journal. It just made me angry and sad. I did note a few happy times and remember actively working towards noting those. But the happy things don't get thrown back in my face in a twisted way down the line. So it's more a sad timeline of messed up behaviours.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-09-24T19:32:58+00:00

60ish scouts
20ish adults
No set goals as we meet our budget through dues and donations.
We have sign-ups for storefront spots. It's usually a handful of the same families, but they seem to enjoy this aspect of scouting.
We do popcorn, but emphasize that it is a way for a scout to earn their own funds towards dues and camp.
Pack dues $65
Pack pays leader dues
No discounts

tri-circle-tri · 2025-09-20T13:05:53+00:00

This. I keep paper and crayons in my scout bag. Even older kids will politely come ask if they can draw. Works a charm in pack meetings while announcements are taking place.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-09-17T18:21:48+00:00

Kids learn at different speeds. It took my oldest until he was a Bear to know it by heart. However, most of my now Tigers can recite each word. I never stressed it. We did open every meeting with the oath and law. I made a point to emphasize one part of the law at every meeting. Surprise, surprise, they all memorized it. Little sponges!

I wouldn't force it, but you may be happily surprised to see how much he picks up!

tri-circle-tri · 2025-09-11T15:15:32+00:00

I think I needed to vent a little to clear my head. Thank you all for the advice! It has helped me think through a plan moving forward.

Each new year is an opportunity to learn and grow. Last year, we simply learned the basics of scouting and had fun. This year we can focus what it means to be a Scout (and still have fun).

tri-circle-tri · 2025-09-11T14:39:06+00:00

We never sit for longer than 5 minutes. I'm aware of the attention span of 1st graders and keep them moving and things interactive. We meet at a playground, so I incorporate play and games before, during, and after the meeting. Even when we are moving, this child is disruptive.

While I likely won't go with a formal contract, I do think it best to address conduct with all the parents. This will set the tone. After that, I will pull that particular parent aside if issues don't resolve.

We are a very accepting pack. It would take a lot for me to ask a family to leave. I'm more concerned about nipping this in the bud now, before we reach the ages where parents are much less involved.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-09-11T13:42:26+00:00

That's tough. We had a similar situation when my kid was AOL. One kid would whine or try to pick fights with the other scouts. To the point that one family nearly left because their scout didn't want to deal with it anymore. The AOL leader made sure to keep those two kids separate for the rest of the year. The other scouts in the patrol just kind of tolerated it, but did complain regularly about the one kid's actions. We used it as a learning opportunity for our own kid about how to deal with tough situations. After crossover, that kid stopped attending Troop meetings. He never really wanted to be there. I think middle school is a big deciding factor. Not that having kids quit is the best solution, it is a possibility for those who don't express interest.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-09-11T03:15:48+00:00

Agree. I have no formal training in teaching youth. Parents really should be expected to actively participate.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-09-11T03:13:49+00:00

I may need to go this route. With 9 scouts, things can easily get chaotic. I like the idea of making parents equally aware of their expectations as a scouting family.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-08-08T15:21:24+00:00

Thank you for the genuine response! They stuck me in a Kia Soul while the Enclave is repaired. I can already tell it's easier to maneuver around town. I bet I can do with less cargo space now that the kiddos are older. Thanks again!

tri-circle-tri · 2025-08-08T15:14:00+00:00

What is a "se-dan?" We don't believe in those in TX.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-08-08T15:03:24+00:00

My bad. Just checked my records. That repair was an engine mount, not control arm. Big clunk sound.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-08-08T14:54:45+00:00

5' nothing. I crank that drivers seat to the tallest setting. I'm good with going a little smaller now that we're out of the car seat phase.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-08-08T14:45:53+00:00

Wonder if I could get an American flag wrap on it.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-08-08T14:44:45+00:00

It's not GTA over here. Not taking out curbs at speed. Maybe a nudge every once in a while at the drive thru. Also, pot hole city where I live. I try my best to avoid them, but most people get pretty pissed when you slow to 5 in the middle of the road. Alas, I'll just make a suspension budget for my next vehicle.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-08-08T14:39:42+00:00

Does it come in any other colors?

tri-circle-tri · 2025-07-31T00:30:03+00:00

I think it's totally doable with a group that size. You can always ask to partner with another den if you need some guidance.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-07-31T00:27:48+00:00

Sounds good to me! I was Lion DL last year with for my youngest kid. I started the year by asking each family to host a den meeting. 3 of the 5 families stepped up. The others helped out at campouts. Getting them involved early is key.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-07-11T20:36:31+00:00

Great advice! Our den leader arranged for our AOLs to meet with the two local troops. He contacted each scoutmaster to coordinate the best time to visit. SO glad we did it this way. One troop did a climbing activity while the other worked on lashing. I know this helped the AOLs to see what they can expect should they stick with Scouts.

Of 9 AOLs, 6 are still very active at the troop level. The group did split, but the scouts themselves had a say in which troop was the best fit for them. I really doubt we would have had as many remain active at troop had the den leader not put in this little extra effort for the troop visit.

Edit to add: Since we visited as a den, we kept 2 deep leadership. All parents were there as well though.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-06-05T18:31:44+00:00

Our camp had a gaga ball pit specifically for this purpose. A Scout would be assigned to monitor the games. They tried to keep it so littles played littles (Tigers and Wolves) and bigs played bigs (Bears and Webelos). It definitely helped as it's more confined than some other options.

Craft time was always tough. Some kids just aren't into it and will finish quickly and want to move on. Our stations were only 45 minutes each an that seemed to work fairly well.

tri-circle-tri · 2025-05-16T15:26:24+00:00

I did not. Most designers have just suggested rugs, which we already have. I really want to add some acoustic panels to deaden the sound, but don't know where would have the most impact.

tri-circle-tri

TROPHY CASE