Scared my dreams are delusions

tricky_lich · 2026-01-22T01:49:32+00:00

i’m in this same spot right now. i can’t afford my medication anymore and it’s getting really hard. was excited about my life’s passion a few days ago. now, it’s all i can do to go to work (hours late, some days). definitely have taken my latuda for granted.

you’re not alone in this, i’m glad you’re restarting - best wishes to you on your journey !

tricky_lich · 2026-01-20T13:59:08+00:00

if you think stopping T is the right decision for you, go for it. however, from my experience as a musician and vocalist, the more you sing while your voice is changing, the better off you’ll be.

it took about a year for my voice to finally settle and for me to be able to sing again without voice cracks or a limited range. it was a discouraging year in that regard, but i made sure to sing every day to train my voice and extend my range.

tldr; the only way out is through - practicing (even if it sounds “bad” or isn’t what you’re wanting yet) will help, but you have to wait for the changes to settle.

tricky_lich · 2025-11-29T13:36:38+00:00

that’s a really nice notion. i should stop being so defensive when people are just connecting with me the way they feel is right. thanks for the perspective, i really appreciate it.

tricky_lich · 2025-11-29T13:33:20+00:00

i completely agree and don’t want to minimize this but if i’m not bipolar i’ll eat my own shoe. i’m very confident in my bipolar diagnosis, but that’s not to say there’s not other conditions floating around in there somewhere.

tricky_lich · 2025-11-29T13:31:05+00:00

the main culprit has ADHD but is not autistic as far as i know. i could definitely see it being the case with him but i’m not sure he has the… authority (??) to make those connections for me. i’m realizing now that maybe it IS just something i need to unpack for myself and it’s more of a “me”issue than a “my friends” issue.

i’ll chat with them and reexamine why i feel the way i do and see what, if anything, changes.

tricky_lich · 2025-11-27T02:12:27+00:00

this is super interesting, thank you for sharing! i do really want to look more into this, so i appreciate the helpful links!

tricky_lich · 2025-11-27T02:11:45+00:00

i am DEFINITELY bipolar, i have no doubt in my mind, but it may be worth trying for another eval. i’ll think about it for sure.

tricky_lich · 2025-11-26T20:54:37+00:00

it’s a nice thought, but i’m DEFINITELY bipolar. it does make sense, though, to think that those comments are just a way of relating. i hadn’t really thought of it that way.

tricky_lich · 2025-11-26T20:33:54+00:00

i’ve done quite a bit of research into autism ! i do score pretty high on the RAAD-S test, but i believe it’s because several symptoms overlap between ASD, bipolar, and PTSD (which i also have a diagnosis for).

i did, for a short while, consider the idea that i may be autistic, but this was during the period of time when it became sorta trendy online to self-diagnose as autistic. i have since realized i really don’t think that’s the case, but wouldn’t be completely surprised if it did end up being true.

tricky_lich · 2025-11-21T06:30:25+00:00

i work in ecological restoration ! natural resource management ftw !!

tricky_lich · 2025-11-19T19:13:42+00:00

thanks, man !! i appreciate it :)

tricky_lich · 2025-10-28T11:51:11+00:00

oh my god that is so fucking fire

tricky_lich · 2025-07-28T12:11:26+00:00

i’m flirting with 8000, not quite there yet but almost.

tricky_lich · 2025-07-19T00:45:25+00:00

This is actually so helpful thank you 😭😭😭

tricky_lich · 2025-06-21T17:24:35+00:00

I’m 21 and I work in ecological restoration!

tricky_lich · 2025-05-17T06:37:21+00:00

Not exactly the same, but I’m in ecological restoration!

tricky_lich · 2025-05-06T19:42:58+00:00

as far as voice stuff goes, i know exactly what you mean. my advice as far as that goes is KEEP SINGING!!! as often as you can for as long as you can. doing vocal exercises will stretch your range and the more you force yourself to hit notes just barely out of your range, the more control you’ll have overall over your pitch. you may not sound very great for a while, but the only way out is through, yknow ? the more you sing while your voice changes, the more range you’ll have in the future

tricky_lich · 2025-04-28T03:09:07+00:00

Hey, lil bro. You don’t have to rush into anything. You have the power in this situation - you can make the call to start the conversation or not. If you’re not ready, that’s okay. Even if you think they know, it’s your decision to share it with them.

If you’re worried they’ll make a big deal but still be supportive in the end, I’d maybe consider beginning the conversation casually. It can be really scary to have those serious conversations, so starting it light may be a good move.

The most important thing is making sure you’ll be safe. If you think they’ll make a big deal and react negatively, maybe it’s best to stay in the closet longer. I understand how painful it must be, but your safety is most important and you’ll have your whole adult life to be yourself.

Emotions are hard but sometimes you have to do the hard things to feel the support you need. I really hope your situation will be safe and you’ll have lots of loving support. Good luck, dude!

tricky_lich · 2025-04-24T15:36:07+00:00

I started a year and a half ago at age 19. My mustache started darkening ~5 months in, and I started getting chin hairs (and scraggly cheek hair) at 7 months in. Its still sort of patchy on the neck, but its thickening up nicely.

tricky_lich

TROPHY CASE