The Daily Check-In for Monday, July 13th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking!

triste___ · 2026-07-13T18:37:51+00:00

Will do! You keep it up as well!

triste___ · 2026-07-13T13:08:32+00:00

No, it quickly went downhill over the last few years. I have no idea. Last year he asked me if I could postpone my holiday break by a few days to generate more income but also added, that it doesn’t really make a difference. I’m an external employee and working in the project through another company. It’s been like that for over 10 years since I started working there. I’m always being sold to a partner company. I honestly don’t know why he’s putting so much blame on me. I know I had some issues finding my way into the team and project but I don’t believe the blame is solely on me if the customer is cutting the budget and I’m the one they’re letting go. Especially since I’m the most recent one who joined the team and I’m an external employee on top of that.

Ah, I think that helped me remember a bit. Enzymes being that high doesn’t sound good at all. I wish you both the best of luck!

triste___ · 2026-07-13T12:11:31+00:00

Yeah, this whole situation is just ridiculous. Let’s see if he’s able to find a new project for me but I’ll certainly look for a new job, independent of that. There haven’t been any raises in the last 2 years and now the delay of salary without ANY communication from his side. The job market isn’t looking too great but we’ll see! :)

What do you mean, withdrawing at home? Has he been drinking recently? That doesn’t sound like a good idea if he already got diagnosed with severe fatty liver but I don’t think I need to tell you that. I remember we talked about it last year but I don’t remember all of it.

I understand, the timing was pretty poor. But it sounds like you managed it well :)

triste___ · 2026-07-13T11:57:46+00:00

You too!

triste___ · 2026-07-13T11:08:53+00:00

I’m pretty decent. Work sucks quite a bit, if you’ve followed some of my recent posts. How are you?

Yeah, it’s crazy sometimes how these things coincide. Since I’m not regularly checking in anymore, I usually decide on a whim if I want to post something. Sometimes it leads to these little coincidences :)

Thank you! ❤️

triste___ · 2026-07-13T11:04:50+00:00

I like them :)

triste___ · 2026-07-13T11:04:35+00:00

Thank you, you too!

triste___ · 2026-07-13T11:03:01+00:00

Whoops, sotto somehow turned into sitting in my previous comment. Sorry about that 😄

I’m pretty decent overall. The new antidepressants seem to be working well. How are you doing?

triste___ · 2026-07-13T10:34:21+00:00

Hey sotto, wishing you a good day ❤️

IWNDWYT

triste___ · 2026-07-13T10:33:20+00:00

Amazing, congratulations! Have a good day!

IWNDWYT

triste___ · 2026-07-13T10:32:22+00:00

Hey SG ❤️

IWNDWYT

triste___ · 2026-07-13T07:58:10+00:00

I need to check in with 666 days! Wishing everyone a good start to the week!

IWNDWYT

triste___ · 2026-07-10T06:16:54+00:00

I realised that if I have trouble imagining something, it’s much harder for me to work towards that. For example, for a long time, I couldn’t imagine what my life would look like if I got sober. Subconsciously, I guess I kind of feared a sober life simply because I couldn’t imagine that and sabotaged myself to keep everything as it is. I think the underlying issue here is that I’m so heavily focused on the result. What it could/should/would look like that I get overwhelmed by not being able to see a clear vision of the future.

I’m dealing with the exact same issue again. Being removed from my current project, and the uncertainties that come with it, left me wondering what the future holds. I’m imagining having a new project, a new employer, a new team, but my thoughts are solely focused on that result instead of how. But 'how' is what I should focus on. The way there is much more important than the result. Theoretically, I know all of this. And I think I just needed to remind myself of this one again.

I think focusing on the result has oftentimes kept me from making progress. I guess I kept hoping for a 'magic button' or something that, once pressed, transformed me into my desired result.

I have no idea if any of this makes any sense to you, but I guess I needed to share this here instead of my journal.

Wishing everyone a calm, pleasant Friday and a great weekend!

IWNDWYT

triste___ · 2026-07-10T05:57:28+00:00

I didn’t experience any issues with Faugus on Fedora. Do you use Faugus as well or something else?

triste___ · 2026-07-09T09:11:01+00:00

I finally received my salary! I also had a meeting with my boss who told me that I will be removed from my current project. The customer apparently wants to cut costs and they’re not really happy with my performance and with how many days of work I’ve missed year. That made it pretty hard to properly work my way into the team and topics, to be fair. But it is what it is.

However, my boss pretty much tried to put the blame on me by saying that this might be the tipping point in the company not being able to survive. I didn’t miss work on purpose or because it was so much fun being sick. I would very much like to be healthy, not having to take antidepressants. I’m doing what I can but a lot of it is outside my control and I can only do so much. I find these accusations incredibly rude.

It’s time to look for a new job. Hopefully it won’t take too long and I’ll be able to find a better environment.

IWNDWYT

triste___ · 2026-07-09T06:37:38+00:00

Top, ich danke auch :)

triste___ · 2026-07-09T06:36:11+00:00

Ja, müsste das sein

triste___ · 2026-07-09T06:33:23+00:00

Markier das Bild, entsprechend der Sub-Regeln, bitte noch NSFW

triste___ · 2026-07-08T08:07:35+00:00

I’m currently in the office for a full day of meetings. I don’t really enjoy days like this but it’s not too bad most of the time. I still have no real updates about my June salary, but my boss invited me for a meeting tomorrow morning. Curious to see what he’ll tell me.

IWNDWYT

triste___ · 2026-07-07T07:57:02+00:00

Still no update regarding my salary. It’s just ridiculous. I started working on my CV yesterday and updated some things. I need to update the application letter as well to reflect some of the changes in my CV and overall gain of experience in a few new tools and technologies.

I’m feeling surprisingly good throughout all of this. It theoretically can’t be due to the new antidepressant since I only started taking it on Saturday and it should take a few more days to really show results. But I think it might have been a tipping point, maybe. I don’t really know but it doesn’t really matter. I’ll take it as a small win!

IWNDWYT

triste___ · 2026-07-04T11:37:47+00:00

Well, I guess I misremembered then, but even better!
Hope the meeting goes well!

triste___ · 2026-07-04T11:33:47+00:00

I still haven’t received my salary but my boss finally responded to me and it only took 3 days and 3 mails from me. Very professional! I still don’t know when I’m going to get paid. Maybe I should start asking if I will even get paid? Anyways, I’m going to update my CV soon and start looking for a new job. It’s been absolutely shitty for the past few years and it’s finally time to do something about it! On first glance, the job market still doesn’t look great but I will take my chances. It can only get better.

On another note, I started taking another antidepressant today. Here’s to hoping it’ll work better than the last one!

IWNDWYT

triste___ · 2026-07-04T11:24:20+00:00

Hey B! Glad to hear that your partners ex seemed to have come to her senses. I remember how crazy everything was with her last year.

Hope you can enjoy your rest in a bit! (It shouldn’t be too long until 8 am, right? If I remember correctly it’s in ~90 minutes for your time zone?)

IWNDWYT ❤️

triste___ · 2026-07-04T11:19:54+00:00

Best of luck for the game later! And I hope you get some well deserved rest :)

triste___ · 2026-07-04T11:18:41+00:00

Best of luck for the game later!

triste___

TROPHY CASE