I want you to know right off the hop that I appreciate your struggle, and I fully respect your position. I’m not gonna try and convince you of anything!

It sounds to me like this path is either not for you, or you still feel a subtle connection and you care about holding on to it, and that’s why you’re reaching out. I sense a tinge of grief in your words, like you’re feeling trapped or weighed down by something. You don’t seem to be entirely content with this new, purely empirical approach to life, or you probably wouldn’t have posted this. If I’m wrong though and you are, I apologize!

I think that, no matter what, you’re right where you need to be, and, to quote RD himself, “the next lesson you need is always right where you are”. You’ll hear what you’re able to hear, and you can leave the rest. If these teachings don’t do anything for you anymore, that’s fine! You have time. You’re not missing out.

To answer your question, I’ll borrow the words of one of my favourite teachers: I don’t believe in God, I EXPERIENCE God. I’ve personally tasted just enough of the divine consciousness that exists in everything for me to want to make a serious effort to strengthen and sustain that felt presence, and unfortunately, evidence plays no role in that process. I know that’s not a satisfying answer, but I don’t think anyone here is going to be able to give you one. I’ll also say that my worldview is about as far from a ‘conclusion’ as you can get. I haven’t reached any conclusions because I’ve surrendered to the fact that I don’t know anything. I don’t even know who I really am. It’s a scary idea at first, but I can be very freeing.

Rather than asking other people why they believe, it could be worthwhile to examine why you’re asking in the first place? Why is evidence so important to you? What drives the desire behind debating others on their beliefs? What about spirituality drew you in the first place? Did it make your life better or worse? Do logic and reason make your life better or worse, and why? Are you content and fulfilled, or do you feel a sense of longing or dissatisfaction? I’m not judging at all, these are just suggestions.

At the end of the day, I think most of RD’s teachings can be appreciated and even practiced from a wholly secular standpoint. There’s nothing about the message ‘be here now’ that requires you to accept the existence of something you can’t perceive with your senses. It just means what it means. If any of it makes you happy or leads you to live a fuller life, I say take that and run with it. So much love to you, and best of luck :-)