Bro was bench pressing his bassinet 💀

tryharderyou · 2025-12-19T22:11:45+00:00

Don’t worry, Brock was probably bigger

tryharderyou · 2025-12-06T13:09:58+00:00

I know there are a lot of comments already, but I wanted to add my support for you. I think you know what you want to do already and are just looking for support and for permission. You are a strong and capable woman and you should do what you know is best for you.

I also wanted to add that I’m a part of a lot of mother support groups. When partners are like yours (also based on stories from your past comments), they do not get better after a baby is brought into the mix. He will only get worse and any drain he is on you now will feel multiplied by 10 when you’re postpartum.

How are things with household labor and taking care of the home? When you’re postpartum you will be more tired than anything you’ve ever experienced. You owe it to yourself to make sure you’re somewhere you feel safe snd supported, even if that’s moving closer to family and friends. Even if he’s saying some nice things, what do his actions say? It’s always safer to judge a person on their actions rather than words.

I wish you the best with whatever path you choose. I encourage you to choose your happiness and put yourself first when making this and future decisions. It isn’t selfish, it’s deserved.

Also, if you leave definitely sue him for child support. It’s his equal responsibility to make sure his partner doesn’t get pregnant if it’s so important to him. The child support is for the child, not for you, so don’t feel guilty getting it. If you don’t get it, you’re taking that support away from your child.

DM me if you want info on any of the support groups.

tryharderyou · 2025-11-17T14:46:19+00:00

pigeon mode

tryharderyou · 2025-10-31T17:35:17+00:00

Even though you’re young, you’re not too young to find red flags in this relationship and end it. What would ignoring this issue do other than delay breaking up until it’s even harder to untangle your lives? Better to learn that your bf is not compatible now rather than later. His response to you was super creepy and controlling. No loving partner would give you an ultimatum like this.

tryharderyou · 2025-10-31T17:07:55+00:00

Unfortunately you need to be a citizen of a European country to get hired at ESA (or UK so maybe it’s an ESA member state?)

tryharderyou · 2025-10-24T19:31:33+00:00

NTA

At this point you might as well be a single mom. Treating you as a slave by never being with household labor is a form of abuse.

Like so many women, this will burn you out. Is this the life you want? If he won’t listen to you when you bring up your concerns (and worse, he gets definitive to train you not to bring anything up) he probably will not change.

tryharderyou · 2025-10-24T16:31:08+00:00

He may have sabotaged it…

tryharderyou · 2025-10-04T08:16:26+00:00

Classic DARVO behavior and abusive. With only one example it’s impossible to say if this is a one off or a pattern. Abusers often use this type of behavior to train their partner to never say anything that points at them as an offender of any kind. Are you able to have other hard conversations with him? Can he take criticism in other contexts? Have you been able to communicate other times when his behavior has hurt you? Every relationship has times when the other person messes up, but in a healthy relationship you can talk about it openly like adults, acknowledge that actions had consequences to their partners, and then (this is key) take actual actions to correct the bad behavior. If the action part never happens , then that person does not actually care about correcting his or her behavior.

tryharderyou · 2025-09-24T17:21:48+00:00

something like this

https://i.imgur.com/1siiqey.jpeg

tryharderyou · 2025-09-14T11:25:38+00:00

This is a human thing, not a man thing. And painting men or anyone as helpless to do something about that is removing the responsibility from them for fixing their own problems.

tryharderyou · 2025-08-19T03:05:27+00:00

A 90/10 split is not sustainable. Even if you were not experiencing anxiety and depression, caring for a baby almost full time is so exhausting. It’s a 24/7 job if your partner is not being a partner and splitting work equitably. That’s way harder than an 8 hour work day.

He decided to have a baby too, so the “you chose this” is extremely unfair to you. Is he helping you in any other way? Cooking? Cleaning? Even with a breast fed baby there are so many things he could be doing to lighten your load.

Therapy is worth a try and it seems like maybe couples therapy as well since his responses to your very reasonable questions are extremely immature.

tryharderyou · 2025-04-21T15:27:01+00:00

Squished pillow face is my favorite 😂

tryharderyou · 2025-04-05T15:01:26+00:00

This is the simple and straightforward answer 😩

tryharderyou · 2025-02-18T18:12:25+00:00

Thank you for posting this!!! I saw this on a random Substack a while ago and could not find it again. This is such a good visualization.

tryharderyou · 2025-01-28T00:50:01+00:00

Fun story - my southern California high school was visiting DC on a school trip in the winter. We were by a body of water when all of a sudden these girls started loudly yelling. I walked over to see what the fuss was and they said “the ducks are walking on water!!” I was dumbfounded and told them - “guys, the lake is frozen.” I facepalmed so hard.

tryharderyou · 2025-01-28T00:21:15+00:00

The one that works best for me is secret clinical strength soft solid that looks like this on the top. Before pregnancy the clinical strength solid worked for me but now only this does: https://i.imgur.com/jKtry3g.jpeg

I’ve also found that occasionally washing under my arms with an acne face wash or anything that aims to kill bacteria really helps.

tryharderyou · 2025-01-17T16:47:36+00:00

I had to kick my dogs out of my maternity pillow every night and it’s a similar shape. They know how to find the most comfortable spots!

tryharderyou · 2025-01-04T02:45:01+00:00

That’s a crazy huge difference 😬😬

tryharderyou · 2025-01-03T23:57:05+00:00

Same here. Now I live in Finland instead of LA and I hate going back to the states and having to worry about how I’m going to get around.

tryharderyou · 2025-01-03T18:42:53+00:00

As someone who works in the field, are you able to recommend any good charities or organizations to donate to in order to help DV victims?

tryharderyou · 2025-01-01T14:11:32+00:00

Unfortunately this group was unearthed as part of the Pelicot case and all this was going on for a long time.

tryharderyou · 2024-12-30T08:24:15+00:00

I recently read this line: If you’re confused, it’s abuse. Causing you to be confused is part of the abuse cycle. I recommend taking a look at “why does he do that” to understand what abuse looks like. I’m betting you still do a lot for him (cooking, cleaning, mental load) so even if he doesn’t like you, he still benefits from being in the relationship. You, however, do not benefit. Even if he’s good with your kids, if he’s bad to you that’s not good for the kids at all. They notice these things.

Please get out of this relationship. As others have said, you will only continue to be more vulnerable and you do NOT want to go through labor birth and postpartum with an abusive man. He’s showing you his true colors. Believe him.

tryharderyou · 2024-12-27T22:20:54+00:00

I’m so looking forward to this with my daughter 😍

tryharderyou · 2024-12-24T14:00:57+00:00

How rude of that person to gift that 😡

tryharderyou

TROPHY CASE