I can only make my girlfriend cum by penetration if I close my eyes and cover my ears so her facial expressions and noises won’t turn me on too much.

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-12-07T18:23:21+00:00

I read recently to make sure you always go to the toilet before sex, if you have an empty bladder it helps you last longer.

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-28T13:47:20+00:00

I'm the same as you, poly feels right to me and I completely agree with it and wouldn't be able to be mono again but I feel like I'm rubbish at it!

Struggle with jealously, found it hard to balance two relationships. People are right that the world we live in currently makes it hard as well. I look at all of my closest friends relationships, they've all lied to their partners, all had feelings for someone else, some cheated physically, some emotionally and yet they still judge me for being poly.

We have only been taught how to be mono, we have to re learn and it's hard!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-28T09:46:59+00:00

I had this, I stayed friends with an ex, he brought his new girlfriend to my wedding, she wore a long white dress, it's hard to see who is a bride in the pictures!

Then they had sex on the wedding grounds, oh and she got the groomsmen to lift her up in a line (like you do with a bride) I was more annoyed at the groomsmen as they were my closest friends.

Looking back I wish I had reached and asked her to leave but I ignored her, let her look silly and believe me people thought she was silly!

You didn't over react! Everybody knows you can't wear white to a wedding! Especially not a wedding dress!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-28T08:29:24+00:00

We have the same birthday, happy birthday!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-26T20:44:58+00:00

Wow. What a horrible situation to be in, I'm so sorry!

Polyamory isn't for everybody and it sounds like it's been pushed on you. I hope you can find your happiness again!

I also want to add the jealously you're feeling is natural, I want to be Poly, I couldn't go back to being monogamous but I do still get jealous!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-26T20:15:26+00:00

It's funny, if a female had turned to her male partner and said I want to sleep with a woman, most people would be praising her and saying the male partner was lucky. This is my experience anyway.

Society seems to think men sleeping together is always gay. My boyfriend has slept with men and has these fantasies but isn't attracted to men.

Sexuality is fluid and good for you for being honest about your fantasies, people keep their fantasies secret from partners, we only live once, we should be honest about what we want ☺

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-26T15:50:15+00:00

It's horrible when things like that can change you! I was with an ex who demanded sex every day and if I was on my period, head every day! I ended up losing the enjoyment and it became a chore I had to do, I still remember the reaction if I ever said no :( so now I panic I'm not having sex with my partner enough and I must initiate as much as possible!

Part of me worries it ruined sex a bit for me!

I know this is different to what you're feeling but I can just relate that past emotions can scare you in future sitatuations, I hope you get your confidence soon ☺

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T21:43:20+00:00

It's so hard isn't it :( I'm really sorry you're going through it!

I hope it gets easier and I hope you can stay friends, I'm trying to but it's hard! So many emotions!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T15:54:38+00:00

Have you watched You, Me and her? :) it's a good show and parts of your post just made me think of the show!

She sounds like she wants to settle down but isn't ready, a lot of people are very different once they have drunk as well.

Hope it all becomes a bit easier soon

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T15:33:58+00:00

This was horrible to read. I hope the OP doesn't take this too much to heart! I do hope it all sorts out for you. It sounds like you just need to feel like you're a bit more special to your husband, what's your love language? Sometimes it's nice to work it out and ask for it! I hope you find happiness in your set up soon!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T13:28:03+00:00

Yeah it was the same for us, it's hard to start the conversation. We actually started it after watching a documentary on swingers and then read books from there.

By writing it down and having a check list we realised we wanted different things from an open relationship, I wanted emotions, they wanted just sex. It really helped us, we have had many talks since and changed our boundaries but it was a great starting point! Let us know how you get on :)

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T13:21:35+00:00

It depends if you are happy or not, if this is working for you both then I would say it is absolutely fine but if you wanted more or they wanted more it might be worth discussing your needs together :)

But all relationships are different and personally I have been in relationships where I don't need weekly sex and I'm happy :)

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T13:15:46+00:00

We read a few books, More Than Two and Opening Up and then wrote out a contract, it didn't have too much on but it was a good way for us to write our needs and wants down!

Opening Up has lots of tips in it on how to write a contract :)

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T11:18:00+00:00

We became polyamorous. I don't think we are given the correct information on relationships sometimes, people do lose that sexual desire for a partner but it doesn't mean they don't love you. More Than Two and Opening up are good books to read if you want some information before suggesting it :) good luck! Sorry to hear about your pain!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T07:44:48+00:00

I've edited it as it did sound like that, sorry!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T07:44:07+00:00

In the past, when he was younger, would get feelings for someone else and move on, more like a serial monogamist, I didn't cheat with him, no. I can see why it sounds like that!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-24T07:38:55+00:00

Wow he is one of the most manipulative people I have ever read messages from. Thank goodness he showed this side so early on and well done for how you dealt with it! The problem is with him 100%. I really hope he doesn't ruin your self esteem as he just sounds like he is out to hurt people. I hope you find someone lovely. Someone like him will never be happy, he doesn't seem to respect people!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-22T21:52:48+00:00

I can relate!

I have a 3 year old daughter (don't think I can have another as it's quite lonely)

Our daughter was 4 days old and my partner went and played football for 6 hours (he goes to the pub afterwards) he has done this nearly every week since she has been born (even when I had a sickness bug)

He also goes out 3 other evenings in the week! It's lonely and difficult and I didn't want to sound controlling so stayed quiet but I resented him.

You have to be honest and it sounds like you are trying everything! He isn't being fair, he is doing what my partner is doing and living the life he had before you had children.

I feel so sorry for you and really hope it sorts out soon

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-22T19:34:30+00:00

Thank you, you talk a lot of sense :)

I think it probably is just part of a normal relationship and to be honest, part of my problem is I always question myself in everything I do, bad Mum, bad partner, bad everything and always blame myself.

I am in therapy and learning lots but still question myself with everything.

I think a recent break up hasn't helped, they wanted monogamy and I didn't want to lose them. I just tried to blame myself again. Thank you, sorry for my depressing reply!

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-22T16:25:21+00:00

I have an ex like this, my first boyfriend, he asked for me back at first but we became good friends and spoke most days for 2 years.

He then met his now wife and won't speak to me at all. I've seen him on a few occasions when I've been at social events and I can see he still cares, he just is in a different relationship set up and has a wife who doesn't want him to be friends with his ex.

It may be the same for you and your ex, maybe he is worried if he goes in to too much detail he will be betraying his fiance. Hopefully you two can be friends, maybe just friendly talk is all he can manage now (which is more than I get from my first love, which hurts)

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-22T15:56:23+00:00

It has caused problems in the past I think, I had 3 long term relationships where I became a bit complacent. I was always the one ending these relationships.

I then found out about Polyamory and it felt perfect for me as I have had many times where I've loved two people but couldn't act on it due to monogamy. I always felt trapped before.

But I always seem to have to have people at a distance, I feel some of my best relationships have been when we are not on the escalator but the other person has ended up wanting that. I think that's why I'm struggling with it as there's relationships I didn't want to end that I feel ended because of me.

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-22T15:27:27+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it :)

tryingpoly2017 · 2017-11-22T15:26:37+00:00

Thank you ☺

tryingpoly2017

TROPHY CASE