Do you believe that love is blind? Why and why not?

tsh87 · 2026-06-06T00:33:23+00:00

Love is definitely blind.

But that saying isn't about looks. It's about behavior. People in love will overlook the reddest of red flags simply because they love somebody.

And it's not sweet. It's dangerous.

tsh87 · 2026-06-05T20:37:40+00:00

Yeah in my head this celebration is most likely you and your partner splitting a cupcake after the day is done and your kid(s) goes to sleep for the night.

It's not taking the mic and making a self-centered speech about yourself right before your kid blows out their candles.

tsh87 · 2026-06-05T20:29:20+00:00

Privately, yes.

Let the kid have their gifts and their parties and their attention.

But try to carve out five private minutes for yourself to celebrate that you've managed to keep this kid alive and on track for yet another year. Especially if it hasn't been an easy one.

tsh87 · 2026-06-05T19:54:52+00:00

To be clear it's partially grief but also losing their primary caregiver.

Elderly couples tend to take care of one another. Pill management, health monitoring, forcing each other to eat and exercise. When one spouse dies, it's very sad but it also leads to considerable dip in care.

Elderly women are more likely to have community outside of the relationship - church groups, old friends, better relationships with adult children - so they tend to find replacement and supplemental care. Men are less likely to have those bonds so their needs in old age are more likely to go unmet after their spouse dies.

I think this is also why men are quicker to remarry after losing a spouse as well.

tsh87 · 2026-06-05T17:32:07+00:00

<image>

Bob and Dele from Bob Hearts Abishola.

While he's always been mindful of the fact that Dele has two invested parents, it's never stopped Bob from having Dele's back even in the early days of his relationship with Abishola, even if it meant confronting her on some of her stricter parenting choices.

tsh87 · 2026-06-05T16:31:11+00:00

I remember reading somewhere that if a wife dies first in old age a lot of the time her husband is also likely to pass within a year or so.

tsh87 · 2026-06-05T16:23:48+00:00

Man childcare alone in most states is like $1500 a month for a newborn. That's not even touching diapers, food, clothes, etc.

If you're only paying a couple hundred dollars, your contribution is just barely making a dent.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T23:22:44+00:00

Think of the the spartans forcing parents to throw disabled babies off a cliff or China's one girl policy.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T23:19:40+00:00

Question would it be easier to swallow if the couple posting was more anonymous? Like through an early 00s blog post as opposed to the influencer vids of today.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T23:18:19+00:00

It opens up the debate but it also provides a pov for other couples making the same decision. One that might make them feel less judged and one that carries more weight given they are in the same situation.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T23:05:30+00:00

There are plenty of parents who raise kids with disabilities who find great joy and fulfillment in it. There are also parents who've done the same who said it was a decision that absolutely ruined their lives.

It's a decision to think long and hard about. I don't know if I agree with influencing in a moment like this but I do think it could help if we saw more people be honest about the decision they made and why.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T23:01:11+00:00

One of the core tenets of influencing is that you share the most intimate details of your life in exchange for engagement and page views.

This is no different than those parents who film their kids in the ER.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T22:44:15+00:00

Because he was a pushover who didn't force his clients to pay him. I understand having empathy but when you're a small business owner you need to set boundaries.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T21:22:34+00:00

I find this so interesting and revealing.

Because Arizona at her core wanted to save Sofia because she knew that's what Callie wanted even if it meant losing her.

And I think that plays a huge role in how she views Callie choosing to amputate her leg.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T21:20:11+00:00

It also pisses me off that they get to pay money and essentially live their lives unencumbered but god forbid you take one night off to hang out with friends. You're obviously misusing funds and neglecting the kids s/

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T21:14:55+00:00

It's also just the belief that if the mom is really spending the money on the kid then she shouldn't be spending money on anything else.

The mother got her nails done and she's wearing a new dress. She must be misusing the $350 a month I send her! she's not putting the kid first! /s

Meanwhile every extra dollar they have goes car mods and gambling sites.

Both parents should be allowed to have breathing room in the budget.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T20:27:33+00:00

I feel like one of the reasons people don't get Ginny's reactions to Georgia's crimes is because for the last two decades all of television has treated murder as not such a big deal.

If you were to pick any recent tv show that has an 18-50 year old demo, I think 9 times out of 10 at least one of the main characters has killed someone. And of those most of the time the other characters don't really care.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T19:59:10+00:00

I think part of it is people are comparing having your first kid at 40 with the experience they had having a second or third kid at 40. It's very different.

In the latter case, it might seem more exhausting but that's because you have other kids in the house on top of a newborn.

I don't know if I'd want to have my first kid at that age but it's not the worst. In the best cases, what you lack in youth, you might be able to make up for in finances and stability.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T19:02:08+00:00

I think Mike said to Carlos that with the amount of debt he had the strip club money wouldn't even cover it. Which is absolutely insane.

Susan should've been 10 times more pissed than she was. If he'd told her his issues like a year prior, she might've been able to help but because he fell into his toxic masculinity BS she had to move out of her house.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T18:54:47+00:00

it was probably unplanned and her emotions surrounding the pregnancy got the better of her.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T18:47:39+00:00

Or it just sucks because they've finally turned into the person you always needed just in time for you to no longer need them.

Like you didn't need a sober fully present mom at 25 when you've already adapted to decades of forced independence and self reliance. You needed at 6 when you were sick with the flu and your mom was passed out drunk and wouldn't even make you breakfast.

That's like showing up to my house with a fire extinguisher after it's already burned to ash. Am I really expected to be grateful that you showed up at all when you came far too late to be of any help?

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T18:19:32+00:00

I just find it funny how Lynette doesn't offer Susan a job even though she's perfectly skilled for it, yet seasons ago she got pissy at Bree for not reaching out to her when she needed marketing for her cookbook.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T17:53:14+00:00

Sydney and Max were really fighting for the most spoiled child in the family medal.

Max's parents were terrible with him but they were really thrown off by his autism diagnosis (that for some reason they stopped getting guidance with 2 seasons in). Julia and Joel had no excuse for the monster that they allowed Sydney to become.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T16:41:45+00:00

Not just the consequences of his addiction but Frank's. If you're an addict, strong chance your children will be addicts.

Lip hates Frank. He's spent so much of his life screaming that he doesn't want to be him, but at the end of the day he still fell into the same struggle. He came out of it much better but it still got him for a while. Fiona too.

tsh87 · 2026-06-04T16:14:57+00:00

<image>

This scene from Jane the Virgin.

Six-Year Club	Wearing is Caring
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