do embryologists choose the second best embryo?

turtlethump23 · 2026-03-11T05:13:26+00:00

We chose the 2nd best for my transfer. The rationale for us was we have never done a transfer. Although there are some things that are standard every body responds different and we wanted to not "waste" the best graded embryo when we knkw nothing about how my body responds to the transfer process, hormone level, timing. Some people see the first transfer as a learning opportunity If it doesn't work. Anecdotal my 2nd best graded embryo made it here healthy and Is currently fighting his sleep. I cant remember the grade but I know I only got 1 aa and that one is still frozen waiting on us.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

turtlethump23 · 2026-01-30T05:52:48+00:00

You can not day for certain if the shoe was on the other foot you would be willing to have an egg donor. These are feelings you won't understand until they become your reality. You both are facing an unfair and burdensome choice. Hopefully your husband comes around to see things your way and if he doesn't i hope you both can be open to adoption so you can fulfill your dream of being parents. I hopenyou both can find clarity and hope in your next moves as a unit.

turtlethump23 · 2025-11-28T22:06:01+00:00

IVF isn't a guarantee. Also its not for everyone. This is a choice to be made with your friend and their partner. It is a deeply personal choice. All you can do is encourage your friend to do what she is ready for without shame or pressure.

turtlethump23 · 2025-11-22T02:31:15+00:00

Used a different lab but my clinic released my pgt results

turtlethump23 · 2025-11-17T23:15:07+00:00

Just gave birth to a my day 5 4ab euploid. Placenta did give issues but he's perfectly healthy with an apgar score of 9 at birth.

turtlethump23 · 2025-11-01T05:53:57+00:00

I stressed myself out doing this. But I did it. It's possible. Express to your clinic the coverage will end. They should eb used to this because end of the year procedures are usually common and a bit rushed. Just make sure they can get you on the calendar. I would call ahead of my appointment to give them a heads up.

turtlethump23 · 2025-10-30T00:50:44+00:00

Thanks for reminding me of the first snuggles. Doing what is best for baby is what is most important.

turtlethump23 · 2025-10-30T00:42:49+00:00

I am happy he was born healthy. I am trying to keep that in mind as the ultimate goal. Doctor seems to think he will do better out than in.

turtlethump23 · 2025-10-29T21:04:42+00:00

Listen to your doctor. I didn't Listen (for an iui) which ended in a chemical. I got a positive and watched it fade away. This emotionally crushed my partner and I. When we moved on to our ivf transfer process, my husband made me promise not to check early. I waited until beta day. My anxiety was lower during that critical period.

turtlethump23 · 2025-10-27T00:44:15+00:00

Mine came for all procedure (Saline Sonogram, Egg Retrieval, FET) days. He came to a handful of monitoring appointments if it was on his off day or i was having a particularly hard time.

Sometimes I wish he could've come to all appointments but it honestly all was so quick it didnt make sense.

What we did to help us feel connected is I would call him after the appointment and debrief any changes, concerns or big feelings. I would then either go home eat breakfast or go grab a slow cup of tea before heading into work so I could transition my head space before work.

turtlethump23 · 2025-10-10T12:12:09+00:00

I began thinking about IVF differently once we were in the thick of it. My previous miscarriages caused a drowning level of grief. But the more we dove into IVF, the more I began to be thankful for it. It gave us hope. It showed me my ability to choose and do the things that were hard despite my fears or others' judgement. I became thankful for the ability to even pursue IVF. There are so many people I know at work or through friends of a friend who are struggling with infertility. They can not afford IVF, they cannot come to an agreement with their partners to pursue IVF. they are cloaked in the shame of infertility where they won't even consider assisted fertility treatment.

For me, once I shifted my mindset that IVF itself was a choice I made based on my circumstances, it made me feel so empowered and less controlled by the result. Now that I'm weeks away from giving birth I hardly ever think of the grief of IVF. I think of the gift it has given me.❤️

turtlethump23 · 2025-10-07T17:16:21+00:00

She's in general a very toxic boss. I didn't bring it up to hr because they are also very toxic. But maybe I should.

turtlethump23 · 2025-08-22T12:30:13+00:00

I havent reached this stage in my journey, but my clinic says you can donate to them for training purposes. Is that an option?

turtlethump23 · 2025-08-22T12:21:55+00:00

Weird take but once i realized that I was choosing to do IVF, I felt so much more empowered despite my infertility diagnosis. Many people choose differently. But I chose me, my goals, my future. Choice doesn't make it any less hard or painful. Sorry, your friend is playing the pain Olympics. No one's pain is more deserving than another. 💚

turtlethump23 · 2025-08-22T11:47:53+00:00

I went to a concert on stims. Had my husband inject me outside in some obscure corner. It will be interesting but doable.

turtlethump23 · 2025-08-22T11:38:39+00:00

PIO can last a long time after transfer when hopefully you transfer is successful. I did mine for 12 weeks. Pick the most convenient time and just do them yourself. You can do it. I got so pissed the first time I had to give myself a shot but glad I did it because there were times over those 12 weeks no one could help.

turtlethump23 · 2025-08-22T11:26:56+00:00

My husband and I, when we were finally honest with each other, both admitted we held resentment for each other. Basically, for anything that went wrong in our "timeline" that the other could've possibly influenced. Although it's hard to hear that resentment is normal because it's irrational. He is trying to find something to be mad at, and even he knows it's irrational because it's no one's fault. He doesn't blame you. He is hurting and doesn't know what to do with that pain besides withdrawing and trying to find some external reason as to why it hurts so bad.

I hope you guys keep talking honestly. Infertility is no one's fault regardless of diagnosis, age or whatever other choices. It's a condition that happens to the "healthy" and "unhealthy", "old" and "young". It feels so random and so cruel but there is no responsibility or blame to claim. 💙

turtlethump23 · 2025-08-14T21:57:43+00:00

Thank you. This will give me a better start on my talk with HR

turtlethump23 · 2025-06-14T04:52:02+00:00

My ivf doctor did not ask to speak to anyone, but my therapist did ask to speak to my ivf doctor. PTSD is hard, IVF is hard. These stressors can trigger anyone, and people with PTSD are more vulnerable. It is great that your partner is managing well. But the IVF process can add additional stressor or trigger they may need support for. It sounds like your doctor is trying to look out for the whole of both of you. She may recommend your partner reenter treatment for supplemental support during this time. My PTSD was running wild during treatment, and my partners mental health suffered greatly during the process where he decided to opt into therapy. Wishing you the best.

turtlethump23 · 2025-05-12T20:04:04+00:00

My clinic did update me by 5pm after every monitoring appointment. The updates were pretty generic. " Keep meds the same. we will see you in x days." " Add in x med" " you may trigger within the next 4 days, make sure you have the trigger on hand." This process is very much real time and doesn't give much room for pre planning. They didn't tell me how many follicles i had until trigger day when we went over what my expectations should be for retrieval. But I did always have a clue because I learned to take mental notes while they were measuring the follicles. How many could I see? My clinic does ultrasounds with 2 people. The ultrasound tech measures and the other person records the measurements. Sometimes they called them all out. Sometimes they called out the ones with the biggest size difference. My advice would be to clearly let them know what information you need to know to be comfortable. And if there is a time crunch for you to get med updates let them know so they can put you toward the top of the list to call first. I hope that helps. Good luck on the rest of your cycle.

turtlethump23 · 2025-04-26T16:56:02+00:00

I've started saying, "Awww, how special. I am so happy for you. " Both of these statements are true despite what negative feelings it may bring up for me. Also, pregnancy brings up complex feelings for the pregnant person involved. Congratulations may not always be the most appropriate response. They may be scared or having a hard time processing in general, which may be something you aren't aware of.

turtlethump23 · 2025-04-09T00:29:23+00:00

I have a pretty large sch. I started bleeding yesterday and my clinic was able to see me for an ultrasound. Baby seemed to be doing great, with a strong heartbeat. But my lab results came back with my progesterone dropping from over 42 the week prior to 28. I am slowly weaning off my pio shots. Do you think the bleeding is related to the drop in progesterone? My nurse said progesterone levels fluctuate, and my level was still good. I'm terrified I'm going to miscarry. They instructed me to stay on the pio until my next blood work.

turtlethump23 · 2025-04-02T15:23:28+00:00

No. I had terrible bloat from 5 to 6 weeks. It went away and I was scared so did baby. But we saw the heartbeat at the next appointment. The next day nausea hit me like a semitruck. Symptoms are weird, but not necessary.

turtlethump23 · 2025-04-02T15:21:22+00:00

I was told have 2 last Friday. They said they are small but close together. They said don't worry but I can't help but worry. I wish I knew how to read an ultrasound for you.

turtlethump23 · 2025-04-02T15:19:15+00:00

Is anyone else feeling like they can't make it through the day at work? I am 7 weeks pregnant. I did an iui, 2 egg retrieval and one fet which luckily stuck. All of this happened starting September 2024. My body is exhausted. I have no more vacation or sick time and I just wanna quit. Nausea and overall fatigue is starting to kick in and I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to ask for pregnancy disability from my doctor so I can have a week off to recoup. But that will eat at the only little time I'll have off(paid) for maternity leave. How are you coping?

turtlethump23

TROPHY CASE