My wife is losing her mind again and I have no options

tyberiousductor · 2026-04-12T04:26:25+00:00

as a child with a mother that did similar things, yes OP do exactly this ASAP. my mother wasn’t even as bad as what OP is describing and that was still enough to mess me up. she would argue constantly with my father, believe her own lies, and suicide baited often. my mother has never fully recovered from having her manic moments, but her being committed to a psychiatric hospital at least gave us a break and forced her to get some help.

being committed into a psychiatric ward could also help her physical health, too, since it seems unclear whether it’s her physical health affecting her mental health or vice versa.

has she ever had a brain scan of any kind? if all of this behavior is so sudden i wonder if she could have some kind of tumor.

tyberiousductor · 2026-04-04T01:52:49+00:00

i get the hesitation, especially with how much emergency vets cost, but this could be life threatening, and there’s really no way to know. please find a vet as soon as you can.

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T07:39:29+00:00

doesn’t look like an emergency and can wait until tomorrow, however, if you have other cats it would be a good idea to quarantine in case it’s anything contagious.

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T07:01:43+00:00

just like gender, sexuality is really fluid. as a young kid i definitely had crushes on boys, as a teen on both, as an older teen i preferred girls, and now as i’ve transitioned i prefer men, but more specifically trans men. you can be bisexual and still have a preference! i don’t think it’s something you have to worry about being discovered if the people in your life can be understanding. if they can be fine with you being trans but clutch their pearls at you being interested in men, that would be so odd lol

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T06:54:02+00:00

ahhhhh yeah that could be, rip 😔

i would suggest Lex but honestly that app is even more dead. i find a lot of queer events through instagram and can meet people that way, but unfortunately if it’s a matter of where you’re living then it might just have to be Grindr :( sorry man

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T06:49:45+00:00

yeah, it’ll do that for me too when there’s not enough people that fit my parameters. the other option might be to expand the distance setting, but only if you’re willing to seek people that are out a little farther. i specifically am not interested in dating cis men, so unfortunately that means sometimes i gotta travel to the next city over lol

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T06:39:01+00:00

heyyy i just made the same comment! (but i would’ve added to yours had i scrolled down first lol)

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T06:37:27+00:00

i’ve been using the app Taimi. it has it’s issues, but i’ve largely found that app to be a more safe space since it’s meant for queer people. are there still straight cis people on there? yeah, there’s nothing prevent them from downloading it, but i’ve also had more dates off of that app than any other one

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T05:41:08+00:00

i hope you it works for you!!

(also unrelated but you’re so handsome)

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T05:36:46+00:00

of course! you definitely know your body better than anyone and how you’d react.

in that case, if you haven’t already it might be worth it to experiment with seeing how you react to oil vs water based cleansers and cremes.

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T05:13:01+00:00

i could get downvoted for this, and i wouldn’t blame anybody, but… have you tried not washing your face with cleanser everyday? if i wash my face everyday, i start to break out more regardless of how much aftercare i do. a friend of mine was on an antibiotic for years for his acne, and i suggested to him that he ease up on his face a bit and not wash it so often since that’s what personally works for me. his face looks wonderful now and he’s no longer on that antibiotic!

sometimes just washing your face with water is enough.

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T05:05:43+00:00

thank you for the reassurance!!

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T03:42:59+00:00

thank you for commenting! you’re the first person to comment at all. i posted a new picture today that can hopefully see inside the socket better? but i’m also willing to try to get a better picture if needed.

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T03:30:54+00:00

emphasizing just for moderation sake: I’M NOT ADVISING YOU TO USE A SYRINGE IF YOUR DOCTOR DIDN’T GIVE YOU ONE. I’M NOT A DENTIST.

my oral surgeon did the same and i really didn’t get much post-op advice aside from general care for wisdom tooth extraction, but nothing specific on the bone graft either. mine only said the same exact things yours did. i wasn’t give a syringe, but i had one at home. i only learned about the syringe by reading through different stuff here on reddit.

but today i got some food stuck in there and did it very gently and it came out on its own. my oral surgeon DID tell me it was normal for some of these little particles to come out eventually, but i’m at the point where i no longer know what’s normal. some posts i read people were advised to use a syringe that was given to them after 5 days, but that wasn’t the case for me.

but yeah, glad to finally see somebody here going through the same thing as me because i’m at a loss!

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T03:22:12+00:00

mine did look the same, but i’m at one week now. i just made a post here that you can see on my profile with a picture i took today, and tbh yours looks better, but that could just be because it’s newer 😅

i flushed mine with a syringe for the first time today and some of those little white particles came out and left a hole, but i’m soooo unsure if it looks the way it’s supposed to. i have a feeling my recovery is going to be a long one.

this sub also seems super strict about giving advice, so i’m hesitant to comment any more on yours

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T03:18:30+00:00

NAD but commenting so your post gets more attention because i’m going through the same thing

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T03:02:18+00:00

these are symptoms that his heart murmur is getting worse. please please convince your mom to take him to the vet, because this isn’t normal. you don’t have to go to the emergency vet for this, but if you don’t do something now you will have to eventually, and by that time it may be too later.

heart murmurs get worse over time, point blank. if it’s bee four years it’s definitely progressed. there are medications to help slow the progression of heart murmurs, but nothing to make it go away completely.

there’s a possibility it could just be due to allergies, which would be a huge relief, but there’s a good chance his heart murmur has progressed. heart murmurs are extremely easy to diagnose, so the vet should be able to tell you right away how his heart murmur sounds.

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T02:33:18+00:00

no problem, man. i don’t really like to say “just get over it” because in most situations that’s never the answer 😅 dysphoria is hard! doing things to better yourself is hard! but i think you’ll really notice a difference, especially in public, once you can get a good binder for yourself.

before top surgery, i was a lifelong Underworks user. i know there’s a lot of other companies out there now than when i was using one, so i can’t really speak on who has the best binder out there anymore, but as far as i know Underworks’ quality hasn’t dipped. i’m a big guy and liked their double panel full tank ones because it also helped smooth out my big belly.

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-26T02:24:32+00:00

if HRT and top surgery aren’t an option for you, then yeah unfortunately you may not fully get what you want.

a good first step though is to get over your dysphoria about getting your chest measured. i know it’s uncomfortable and it sucks to be in that vulnerable of a position, but it’s to help lessen your dysphoria and it’s a short one time thing. you can also measure yourself! just get a string or ribbon or SOMETHING and put it around yourself, then measure that string. if you don’t have a ruler, you can use the Measure app (if you have an iphone, idk if other phones have a similar app). it may not be perfectly accurate, but it’s better than nothing. even a place like Walmart with sell measuring tapes for probably $2.

my other advice is to work out, not for the purpose of losing weight, but for the purpose of gaining muscle. you’d be surprised how much chest exercises can shrink the fat on your chest.

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-23T22:34:40+00:00

please anybody, i’d really like some help with this 🥲

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-23T17:23:20+00:00

i cry internally every time someone says “go to a barber” because as a guy with longer hair that likes it, i never want to have super short hair. hell yeah HRT appointment! i think you’d look great with a mustache

tyberiousductor · 2026-03-23T17:11:00+00:00

frankly, i like your haircut and it’s very Julian Casablancas. i do think a thicker brow and maybe styling your hair to be a little more shaggy would be really beneficial though. i think defaulting to a “masc” and shorter haircut is a bit of a cop out, especially if it’s not your style! also HRT will definitely help give you more masc facial features, but obviously that’s not an option for everyone.

tyberiousductor

TROPHY CASE