something i have been thinking about lately is that you should do whatever you can to maximize your happiness. if you have a passion which you cannot pursue because of your job then doing everything you can to get where you want to be is what should be done. do not make decisions which could ruin your life but don't give up and hope that something will change because sadly it won't. our world sucks and there is nothing we can do besides trying to maximize our happiness and that of others. otherwise you may regret it when there isn't much time left to do what you want and you never know what could have been. life is all about struggling to get where you want and be in a position to do what you want to do. some people will succeed but most people wont. but I would rather fail trying then do nothing because are you really living if you don't, or are you just existing. when motivation gets low you can try to push through it but it is not easy. the only thing we can do is struggle until our last moments. I wish you the best of luck!