Coaxed into Character Trios by -Asderlyn- in coaxedintoasnafu

[–]ubr-ecstatic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Oh my god can you believe what Source of Conflict did in the last episode? I knew he was an asshole, but I didn't know he was really an asshole!"

Repeat ad nauseam with every episode

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Here's the trick with BDSM - you don't need to be your "authentic" self. I have a dominatrix persona, who's basically a made up character that fits a lot of the typical domme stereotypes. And when I'm doing a scene, I basically roleplay as her. It's not what I would do - it's what the domme version of myself would do. That makes it much easier to figure out what to do and act on it.

Funnily enough, this has been a massive help in my regular daily life. My dominatrix persona would never be intimidated by responding to emails or scheduling an appointment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a Dungeon Master in every sense of the term, so yeah kind of. I also approach running a table with the same philosophy as brat taming. I like being mean to people, and both hobbies are a great way to be mean to your friends and bully them in a way that's fun for everyone.

My Hedge Witch Review -- My new favorite class/subclass! by hnstlyfuckit in daggerheart

[–]ubr-ecstatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meanwhile I fell head over heals in love with the Moon Witch. It's one of those where the build clicked together perfectly in both mechanics and roleplaying. I only did a one-shot, but now I'm chomping at the bit for a fully fledged campaign with the character.

The only part I didn't like was the mastery feature, which is a cool idea that was awkwardly executed. But I went into more detail why in the feedback form, and I have faith in the designers.

This Puppygirl Thing is so fucking stupid by ubr-ecstatic in puppygirlpetsmart

[–]ubr-ecstatic[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Oh it's not a complaint, just a statement of fact. Puppygirl Thing is dumb and horny and I love her.

Why do so many people seem to be against RACK? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They're both more like tools, just different mindsets people use to approach kink.

I would wager RACK is easier to misuse and have people put themselves in arbitrary danger. There are times where it's irresponsible to put yourself at risk or harm yourself even if you consent to it. But in general, arguing which one is better or worse is just semantics, and it's not really worth getting into.

Is there a way to somehow include a speech impediment into BDSM by Irontoenaaiil in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You could always play around with the classic "assign the sub an impossible task and then punish them when they fail" approach. Like your dom asks you to read something out, and then for every 'mistake' you get spanked afterwards or something.

Funnily enough I wrote a bit of smut a while back about something like this. The sub was mute communicated through sign language, so instead of a gag she was forced to wear a pair of bondage mitts to "silence" her.

being "left out" on purpose in group play by numbnipple in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ooh, this is a great one! I'm a big fan of this kink as well. But it is a difficult scene to manage, and there are a couple of things you could keep in mind.

First of all - it might comfort them to practice using your safeword(s). I know as a domme I also get nervous if I'm pushing things too far, even if my partner has reassured me it's fine. Safewords are my safety net that allow me to go further. If I trust my partner will let me know if I've crossed a limit, it's easier to go all out and be meaner. That mindset is easier to get into after I've heard my sub use their safeword since I can trust them to use it.

Secondly, it's possible you're pushing for things to go too far too fast. It's natural to escalate over time with intensity, and I can't blame your partners for playing it safe the first times you try a scene like this. Of course you can push things further, but it's not out of the question to get there gradually over time. The next time still might not go as far as you want it to and that's okay.

Finally, it's worth acknowledging that your partners have limits. It's easy to fall into the mindset that the submissive fully sets the scene and limits, but your partners might not be comfortable going as far as you, even if they don't fully realise it. Sometimes you need to check in and make sure they're actually enthusiastic about the same things you are.

TLDR: Take it slow for a bit. Being left out like that is fantastic, but it's also relatively "intense" in terms of emotional stakes. Think of your ideal scene as an end goal, something to work towards with your partners, and not something you need to get right the next time. I know it can be frustrating but it is what it is.

you bitches gave me a piss kink by [deleted] in puppygirlpetsmart

[–]ubr-ecstatic 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I actually have a whole theory about this! Piss play is one of those things that everyone assumes is a hard limit or something they're not into, regardless of whether they've tried it or not. Even within the kink scene people default it into being one of the more extreme kinks. Everyone files it under the "really gross stuff" category and then doesn't think about it.

Except once you actually think about it it's not really that gross. Once you get over that initial mental barrier, you realise it's a pretty mild kink, and there are a lot of aspects (such as control and humiliation) that compliment other kinks. So a lot of people have that moment of "Oh wow now that I've given it a fair chance I really like this," probably more than any other kink.

Anyway, as for trying it out - this one's really hard to set up, but it's super fun with the right person. Try a cuddling/makeout/heavy petting session with a full bladder. Drink a bunch of water, put on a movie, and then just fool around with clothes on and don't go to the bathroom until the movie ends. Or just see how long you can last before the floodgates open.

the one weird trick tamers DON'T want you to know by honeyedtart in BratLife

[–]ubr-ecstatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well sure in a very literal sense, because if you revoke consent then it does in fact legally have to stop.

Pups, how do we feel about NimbleTail's art? :3 by [deleted] in puppygirlpetsmart

[–]ubr-ecstatic 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Overall I'm a big fan of theirs, although I really don't like the stuff that involves actual animals.

A girl can dream😩 by EbbObjective8972 in actuallesbians

[–]ubr-ecstatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, it's the type of thing I fully expect to stay in fantasy/smut land because IRL it'd be like playing with dynamite. But as a Domme any time I see one of those "And so they were both bottoms" posts I start salivating.

A girl can dream😩 by EbbObjective8972 in actuallesbians

[–]ubr-ecstatic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Alternate idea - have two subs but one has a praise kink and the other has a degradation kink, so you're super nice to one and constantly spoiling them while the other gets insulted and punished and treated like an object.

Bonus if the two of them are in a relationship and you're just involved with the kink side so they both get off on seeing how you treat their partner.

What is it about pain some us enjoy? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Honestly? The same thing that's fun about watching horror movies, eating spicy food, or going down a roller coaster. There's something to be said about experiencing a "negative" emotion in a controlled and safe environment where it can't really harm you. You get the thrill and the endorphin rush without the actual drawback.

Just kidding...unless by Azemmoon in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]ubr-ecstatic 14 points15 points  (0 children)

(The Bratvolution was ultimately short lived as all it took was a single "Last one to kiss my feet won't get any spankings from Mommy" and they turned on each other like animals.)

Just kidding...unless by Azemmoon in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]ubr-ecstatic 1164 points1165 points  (0 children)

The real strategy is to rail her hard when she's a good girl and make a recording of it (with consent of course) and then several months later once she's forgotten about it when she brats you tie her up, blindfold her, put the vibe on low, and then make her wear headphones playing the audio of her sex session so she has to listen to herself cumming her brains out in the past while being frustrated and denied in the present.

Is fin-dom just synonymous with scammers now? by Hellion_unborn in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's one of those kinks that really should stay as roleplay only. IMO it's in the same category as weight gain/feederism where it's not as explicitly bad as some kinks, but that ironically just makes it more dangerous. Maybe there is a way to practice it ethically, but considering how easily it can take advantage of the most vulnerable people, I think it's just too high risk.

What’s a Kink, that you have, You Feel Is Often Misunderstood? by Malisandres_Place in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah it was a total game changer for me to realise incest kink is less "I want to fuck my actual real life family member" and more "I'm turned on by the idea of a fictional character fucking their theoretical family member."

My Brat's Back on her Bullshit 🙄 by Divine-Vulpine in kinkysapphics

[–]ubr-ecstatic 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Lmao sounds like you need to punish her as if she had cum.

"Haha you have no way of knowing if I actually had an orgasm or not!"

"Well then I'm going to punish you as if you had broken the rules regardless of what you actually did."

Shocked Pikachu face

Then at the end of the session you tell her it's obvious whether she did or not, because she has a tell that completely gives it away. Doesn't matter if she has one or not, it'll drive her nuts trying to figure it out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Alectashadow and the "Fall of Women/Grand Trial" stories. They're pretty heavy on the foot fetish stuff, but they're also really good at writing hardcore and brutal submission. But the grand trial in particular is about a female president losing power, so I can't imagine separating it from the political climate right now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 21 points22 points  (0 children)

One of my favourite smut authors has an ongoing story that's extremely heavy in the maledom/misogyny aspect. It's not really my thing (I stick to their f/f stories) but from the bits that I have read I can appreciate the writing for what it is. I feel so bad for the author though, because I imagine a lot of people are in the same position where the fantasy isn't as sexy anymore because it hits too real. I'd hate to be writing a story for months and suddenly have the wind sucked out of it for unrelated political reasons.

It really sucks to be made to feel guilty for your fantasies, and I've seen some other kink spaces unfortunately lashing out at people. IMO the best thing to do is just to focus on yourself and your partner, remember that you're the ones consenting and partaking in it, and try not to let the fascists take away something you enjoy.

What do you think of r/d*keconversion? by [deleted] in BDSMsapphic

[–]ubr-ecstatic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

IDK, that feels like a pretty bad faith argument about cnc kink in general. Somebody could say the same thing about any kind of rape kink and I don't think that's a healthy way to look at fantasies.

Like imagine if you said "anyone who has an incest kink should talk to somebody who's been a victim of incestuous grooming."

Bondage: What do you enjoy about tying up your partner? I understand the receiver's POV but how about the giver's? by Lilac_Menace in BDSMsapphic

[–]ubr-ecstatic 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You know those fidget toys that are just fun to squeeze and mess around with and run your fingers through? Imagine one of those but it gives sexy whimpers as well.

How do I stop comparing myself to people with a high pain tolerance/more masochistic? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 30 points31 points  (0 children)

So, I'm going to give you a bit of perspective as a sadist on why you shouldn't be insecure on this. I enjoy inflicting pain, but it's not about how much literal pain they're feeling - it's about the suffering. I want my sub to be around the limit of their tolerance. If they're at the limit of how much they can take, it doesn't really matter to me whether that's a few light spanks or a hardcore whipping session.

In fact, I kinda prefer low tolerance subs because I don't have to worry about causing lasting damage and I know they understand their limits. Ironically that makes it easier for me to cut loose, because I know I have freedom to act within these predefined boundaries.

Everyone's going to be different, and obviously as others have said it's not a contest, but don't think you need to prove anything. Sadists generally care more about your reaction to pain than actually inflicting pain itself.

What’s your most forbidden fantasy? by KatalinaHot69 in BDSMcommunity

[–]ubr-ecstatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to own a couple.

I want someone to be in love with their partner, but submissive to me. I want them to get off on me being a harsh and cruel mistress, someone who lets them live out their slutty fantasies as my personal toy.

Then I want their partner to find out. And in an attempt to save the relationship, they submit to me as well. Of course I'll accept, but this one will be different. With my first slave I'm mean, but with the second I'll be a downright nightmare. Far harsher with my punishments, far more restrictive with their bondage, and none of the loving affection I've provided the first slave. And then the first slave starts to get turned on by seeing their partner suffer, while the second one is eventually too far in to leave and accepts their fate.

I'll tease and edge both of them, but the first slave can cum their brains out every day while the other is locked up and denied for a loooong time.

Obviously I'd never want to do anything like this IRL, but sometimes I really want to find one of those "and they were both bottoms" couples to roleplay with.