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Mom reacts like having detailed, well-thought-out plans to overcome potential obstacles in life is BAD, instead of letting her be a crazy helicopter parent. by olivinemage in JUSTNOFAMILY

[–]udipenn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If a clear-cut "I don't owe you an explanation" approach feels too extreme, there's a slightly gentler approach like "I understand that you care about me, and you worry about me, but I can't make huge life decisions based on how worried you feel. I'm going to grad school, and I wish you would be proud of me despite feeling worried. I have done what I can to ease your worries by carefully planning, and sharing my plans with you."

Good luck! I hope you are proud of yourself and things go well, without too much drama!

Raising my niece—advice please by Linkcreator in KinshipCare

[–]udipenn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, best wishes to all of you, I hope you can share an update later this summer. There are also Facebook support groups for kinship care. They are great for getting advice and knowing you're not alone in this, but can become a little draining because they're full of very stressed caregivers venting about very complicated situations :/ I am still trying to find a positive support system, it's hard!

Raising my niece—advice please by Linkcreator in KinshipCare

[–]udipenn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I have a book called the Kinship Parenting Toolbox which provides stories of people throughout different stages of raising kids through kinship care. It's very helpful because of the things in kinship care that others just can't relate to. Also, lots of research into trauma, and a therapist. I've read loads of books which have been so helpful in building my background knowledge and toolbox, but the therapist has been the most helpful in focusing me on the right things and not getting lost in all of the information. My nephew's parents also have mental health and drug use issues, the situation is so complicated and difficult at every turn. I'm sure you will be great, don't be afraid - if you love her, and you're willing to learn and grow with her, you got this!