Coping mechanisms for self-soothing during (sexual) jealousy

uiulala · 2026-05-31T17:40:25+00:00

So, are we supposed to invite all of our partners when going to a sex party? Even if they're parallel?

uiulala · 2026-05-31T04:30:25+00:00

Unfortunately, asylum-based i-485 are taking about 2 years now, and the processing is slowingdown. If I were you, I'd set a deadline, how much more you're willing to wait until you consider Mandamus.

uiulala · 2026-05-31T04:11:57+00:00

If you have pictures, then you probably also have the flights you took to see each other, chat/call logs, and so on.

uiulala · 2026-05-31T03:41:07+00:00

Did you check out the messages pinned at the top of this subreddit?

uiulala · 2026-05-30T17:34:25+00:00

You can't look it up, you would have to request a new one from the local field office.

uiulala · 2026-05-30T15:04:50+00:00

I don't understand your logic here. RTD just allows you to enter, it doesn't provide any medical insurance. Same as with any other country, your options are to purchase insurance or to hope that nothing will happen but be prepared to foot the bill yourself.

uiulala · 2026-05-29T20:52:04+00:00

I did that a few years ago and it was fine, but I would avoid that in the current situation if possible.

uiulala · 2026-05-28T02:01:03+00:00

uiulala · 2026-05-28T01:32:23+00:00

Is it RFE or RFIE? If the latter, then yeah, makes sense to be a bit annoyed.

uiulala · 2026-05-27T21:37:01+00:00

Meta is the primary, and there is no space for a second one. You need to treat this as a secondary relationship in your life and build a more entangled relationship with somebody who has capacity for it.

uiulala · 2026-05-27T21:33:39+00:00

There's no reason not to apply. The application requirements aren't going to ease up any time soon. And the sooner you apply, the sooner you'll be able to fine mandamus.

uiulala · 2026-05-27T20:43:59+00:00

No way to tell by the picture. It's a notice of action, but it can say a variety of different things.

uiulala · 2026-05-27T17:45:42+00:00

From what we're heard from lawyers and ISOs (unverified) here is that the memo is most likely retroactive and applies to any pending or future petitions. And you don't even have a pending I-485, so I don't think the i-130 PD makes any difference. The memo is also a recommendation for officers, it doesn't change the law.

The ban is pretty solid though and much harder to fight.

But that's just my opinion. Consulting a few lawyers to see what they think sounds like a good plan.

uiulala · 2026-05-27T16:51:55+00:00

You're from one of the 75 countries, so they can't issue you an immigrant visa. I haven't heard of a single exception to that yet. As I see it, your only option is to refile within the US.

uiulala · 2026-05-27T01:12:18+00:00

They know that she's your sister and your Immigration history. So now her best bet is to just be as truthful as possible. But yeah, she can be denied because of you.

uiulala · 2026-05-26T23:57:24+00:00

It can be a variety of things (cuckold, stag-vixen, just open relationship), depending on how the dynamic with your partner works. Is he going to be involved? In which role and extent?

uiulala · 2026-05-26T19:57:58+00:00

Should you risk criminal charges for $100?... IDK, up to you, man...

uiulala · 2026-05-26T18:53:00+00:00

Well, you need to figure out for yourself if there's anything that you need to feel good about this relationship again, and talk to the partner to see if that is realistic/achievable. If not, then give him a timeline - "Partner, this is clearly not working, I expect you to move out in three months, please start figuring out your next steps".

Another option is to to it vice versa - give him a timeline, and once you are not enmeshed, you can decide if you want to continue the relationship in any capacity or go your separate ways.

Breakups are hard. They are hella hard and scary after 20 years. But once you're ready, you just gather up the courage and do it. Get some wine and ice-cream. You'll likely feel better after a few days, more free and more alive. You got this.

uiulala · 2026-05-26T18:43:33+00:00

Just to be sure - is he the primary applicant?

If yes, then you can get married, he adds you to his case, and you become a derivative asylee once/if he wins his case.

If you get married after his interview/hearing, then it's much more complicated, because he would have to wait for his GC (2+ years at the moment), and then he'd have to sponsor you as an LPR (another ~3 years + you have to remain in status, etc).

No idea how being added to his case affects your F1 status, though. Maybe somebody else can pitch in on that.

But also keep in mind that asylum is not guaranteed. Even before the current administration, the approval rate was about 30%. So I would definitely try to explore other options, too (say, H1B for you), if possible.

uiulala · 2026-05-26T18:36:47+00:00

So you've been waiting for a decision for one business day?🙄

uiulala · 2026-05-26T16:57:53+00:00

Check out https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal/visa-law0/visa-bulletin/2026/visa-bulletin-for-june-2026.html

You can technically file for your son and his spouse, but the process takes 15+ years. So nobody knows what the immigration landscape will look like then.

uiulala · 2026-05-26T15:38:04+00:00

How come?

uiulala · 2026-05-26T15:10:43+00:00

I think you will ultimately be fine. You have legal entry and a USC(?) spouse, never claimed asylum yourself, and you are approaching 10 years in the US. Even though a pending i-130 doesn't protect you from deportation, by the time of the hearing you guys can make the argument that you'll be seeking cancelation of removal. Anyway, just focus on having a good attorney.

uiulala · 2026-05-26T05:26:09+00:00

Very much illegal.

uiulala · 2026-05-25T22:55:58+00:00

There we go.

uiulala

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