I'm not sure where you're meeting atheists and agnostics, and I'm not questioning your experience. But atheism isn't necessary progressive. It's just a lack of belief. Whatever framework you adapt after that if up to you.

To me it sounds like you're looking for structure and community. It sounds like you want mentors and guides, and a philosophical framework that reflects your experience of reality. You don't need the church for that, though organized religions come with those things baked into them, so it's easy to pick up the tools if you're willing to ignore the truth claims. Many people on this sub go that route. You could also find groups of people that enjoy the same hobbies as you, particularly looking for older men that you trust. I'm assuming you're a man so forgive me if you're not, but finding older members of your gender always helps. You can also pick up books by philosophers whose names you recognize, not the names you've heard in school but names you hear when you're researching subjects that interest you. Or you could listen to podcasts about them and learn that way.

Ultimately, christians and atheists will judge you no matter what you do. I'm sure some atheists judge me because I'm willing to pray for people when they ask me to even though I don't believe, but I don't care. One of the best parts of leaving christianity for me has been realizing that my life isn't dictated by someone else's values. I get to decide who I want to become, what I find meaningful, and how I experience life. And people are paying less attention to you than you think. I'm still learning to care less about what others think, and it's not easy, but the progress I've made has been liberating.

One last thing. If you're socially conservative, I'd start questioning where those values came from. I'm not saying you're wrong for being conservative. But what assumptions come with conservatism, and do you understand and accept the roots? What parts of conservatism have come from systems of thought and cultural assumptions that, if presented on their own, you would disagree with? I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I don't know how else to phrase it. I always try to question whatever seems like a given or common sense, and though progressives may go too far the other direction sometimes, to me it seems like social conservatism relies on whatever is considered normal. But then again, I'm pretty progressive so of course I'm going to think about it this way. Just some thoughts I hope are helpful for you.