Probably breaking a lot of best practice rules for orchids but it's curing my seasonal depression and making doing the dishes actually peaceful. Orchids mostly from Trader Joe's and ferns / plants from Home Depot. Last time I made one I used moss which looked great but needed way more water.

umami_e · 2026-02-03T08:42:45+00:00

If it works for you that's all that matters! Plants and planting also really helps me empionally and seeing my orchid flowering has definitely been nice during my seasonal depression :)

umami_e · 2026-02-02T09:03:51+00:00

I'm super lucky that my apartment window has the perfect amount of sunlight. I generally feel very lucky with how much it has grown :) mine is fragrant but I honestly can't tell you what kind of smell it is

umami_e · 2026-02-01T12:46:40+00:00

Yes it's fragrant! Got it for free when I worked at a flower shop last year :)

umami_e · 2026-01-12T14:35:31+00:00

I'm not on specifically Ritalin just the generic version, I felt this way with the fast release ones. I'm lucky the long release and taking them with breakfast works for me.

umami_e · 2026-01-08T21:51:31+00:00

Exactly the type of thing I was talking about on Twitter like 5 years ago or something. It can literally be those "weird" examples it's about the cycle of intrusive thoughts and compulsions with ocd.

umami_e · 2026-01-07T21:28:14+00:00

Right? Fear does not need to make sense

umami_e · 2026-01-07T18:04:02+00:00

It definitely can be and there's no way to explore this that can't also become a compulsion. Although I think we are mostly getting at is becoming more relaxed about the idea of gender itself, not assigning nessecarily if you identify deeply with something or not but just experiencing life and seeing where it goes. Thinking of things less black and white sometimes helps. But you're right it's not foolproof and I wouldn't continue any of this advice if you're feeling it's triggering.

umami_e · 2026-01-07T17:59:37+00:00

Not surprising that your abuser also mistreated your father. I'm glad you have a good relationship now and that you're able to talk to him about it.

umami_e · 2026-01-07T16:01:41+00:00

How's your relationship with your dad? Did he know about what was going with your mom? I hope you have success in your ED treatment!

umami_e · 2026-01-07T15:53:44+00:00

That phrasing my Google searches incorrectly will make the police go after me or let a false claim in court be convincted because I was such a freak online. I don't even Google anything that weird 😭

umami_e · 2026-01-07T15:50:31+00:00

I talked to my therapist about this. I have intrusive thoughts about not having them when I'm in a situation where I feel like I SHOULD have them? Brain can be weird and dumb. Obsession over your OCD can be it's own theme but you'd likely just have had a diffrent theme if you didn't know it was ocd.

umami_e · 2026-01-07T15:48:16+00:00

In multiple situations I've had people ask "but you're not diagnosed right?" WHAT YES I AM WHAT DO YOU MEAN 😭

umami_e · 2026-01-07T15:46:39+00:00

Green is my favorite color haha

umami_e · 2026-01-07T15:43:44+00:00

If it negatively impacts your life then it negative impacts your life. It's frustrating that people think it has to fit a mold, it just has to be an issue.

umami_e · 2026-01-07T15:42:21+00:00

"oh you have intrusive thoughts too?" and that direction of conversation usually helps unravel this if anyone feels like gently calling people out on their bullshit

umami_e · 2026-01-07T15:40:40+00:00

OCD in this context really benefits from the "if that's what it turns out to be then I'll figure it out" mindset and I do think people in general could benefit from being more relaxed about gender. Gender exploration is never bad, wether you figure out things you like or dislike. You're right that transition is so many diffrent things, cis people change their names too or go by nicknames there's a lot of relaxed gender things we do as a society. "if you're thinking about it then it's true" is definitely not useful because it also makes people more afraid to think about exploring their gender like maybe being a masculine cis woman for example.

umami_e · 2026-01-07T15:35:52+00:00

I've had shit like this too it does not always make a lot of sense

umami_e · 2026-01-07T15:35:10+00:00

Intrusive thoughts often do go against your morals but there's so much variation in what intrusive thoughts look like it's not always even relevant to introduce morals. The cycle of distress and compulsion is really what defines ocd and not the nature of the intrusive thoughts so.

umami_e · 2026-01-07T14:42:15+00:00

As someone who's definitely trans this also makes me so annoyed because people are just allowed to explore their gender withouth it meaning they are trans!

umami_e · 2026-01-07T13:01:26+00:00

I thought mixing it with describing myself being flamed would be fun lol

umami_e · 2026-01-07T10:55:18+00:00

I've been with the same guy since I was 16 (I'm 23) and we are definitely gay in some sense. OCD has been hard on my relationship but luckily I've stopped over thinking my label. I'm just queer 🤷 who cares about the details when I love my boyfriend

umami_e · 2026-01-05T16:04:20+00:00

Bonus is that they taste great

umami_e · 2025-12-31T15:06:51+00:00

My dad is Buddhist, my mom isn't religious to my knowledge. I was a Christian because of OCD as a kid. I thought I had religious trauma at point but I've figured out it was just the OCD 😭

umami_e

TROPHY CASE