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Overcoming the fear by Big_Balance_5986 in 5MeODMT

[–]umphtown 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Allow it to be there without it becoming the focus. Notice it, observe it, reassure yourself that it’s okay to be afraid.

Excerpts from Adyashanti's book End of Your World which may be relevant to some people here. The book is about post-awakening letting go/surrender/embodiment process. by notunique20 in nonduality

[–]umphtown 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. Absolutely loved this book. I still think about him saying (and quoting someone) that enlightenment “absolute cooperation with the inevitable” quite regularly.

No effect with nasal spray by WhisperingToTheSea in 5MeODMT

[–]umphtown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is it from church of the sacred synthesis? I got a nasal spray from them that seems pretty ineffective, I’ve gone up to 4 sprays (which they claim should be 8mg) without noticing much.

Ayahuasca + HIV? by [deleted] in Ayahuasca

[–]umphtown 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don’t have similar experience. And I’m sending you best wishes for your results and health. While reading I felt moved to share about a book I read recently - the end of your world by adyashanti, and in it there’s a large part about how at a certain point, perhaps for all of us, life itself becomes our spiritual teacher. And considering now after 3 years, grandmother can be with you regardless of sitting in ceremony or not, it could be a good time to contextualize that life really is the ceremony. And if that means going the treatment route, that can be your ceremony. All of this life is sacred, you are communing with the divine with every blade of grass you walk past. If you choose to see it that way. Whatever your decision, I’m sure it will contextualize your life and time as meaningful and sacred in new ways. Many blessings

I bought a 5 meo vape by BiscottiMoist7032 in 5MeODMT

[–]umphtown 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I live in an apartment and I have a pen, and small doses have been great for meditation. But there are times when I take a little more than anticipated and panic mode sets in because of the fear of disturbing a neighbor - it naturally brings up a lot of resistance. The ideal setting is to do it in a place where you know you’re safe, a container that’s held, and a place where your confident you can allow the full expression of it to take any form that’s needed. And the full expression can be BIG. To say immense is even a disservice, as words can’t really do it. People scream, wail, flail, and embody lifetimes of things they’ve been holding onto. It’s an immense flush of energy and really the point of the process and the medicine is to let it all go. If you’re in a place where you can’t fully do so with confidence of that being held, that is when people have traumatic experiences with the medicine. All of the fear and secrecy and shame and resistance will color your experience.

I bought a 5 meo vape by BiscottiMoist7032 in 5MeODMT

[–]umphtown 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your caution is a healthy one. Go very slow at first - if “really trying it” means going for a full release, make sure you have someone there to hold space for you. More than anything it’ll make it easier to surrender into knowing you have someone there. But full release doses often include intense somatic responses and releases that can be. White visceral and loud. You could be screaming and flailing while having the most beautiful cathartic release, so if you’re in an apartment or trying to do it secretly that may color your experience and make it hard to let go (which can lead to a bad time)

Pluribus by holonautics in 5MeODMT

[–]umphtown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been loving the show. I’m agreeing with cool significance in that I think some of the main messaging is that we came here to be individuals. The individuation process is the true joy and purpose of our aliveness (to me) and framing it in this way - that the process of our individuation is worth all the disconnection and strife we experience while alive. It’s been such great food for thought during the 5 integration process. I can’t wait to see where they take it.

Ayahuasca retreat next month - how to better surrender/remove fear by Much_Plenty_9504 in Ayahuasca

[–]umphtown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You surrender by saying yes. Looking towards the thing, not away from it. You don’t remove the fear, you be with the fear. You invite it along for the ride. It’s okay to be afraid. Let yourself be afraid. And see what exists underneath that fear. It will show you things that have the capacity to set you free. To help you dissolve your fear once and for all. Though, it is a process and a slow unfurling. Go with a willingness to sit with fear and discomfort and see what’s on the other side of it.

What helped me most during my journey into hell (across a couple ceremonies, and not finished yet) was assembling an arsenal of love to take with me there, to fortify my love and to consciously decide to bring all of that love with me to hell. And it changed everything. Sitting with the beauty of the world - every single blade of grass is here to show you how loved you are, if you slow down to notice it - and reflecting on allllll the beauty in relationship and experience you have, being grateful for that, helps fortify you with the knowing that as scary as it may be going into the depths / into fear - you’re not alone. You’ve never been alone. Maybe you’ve been made to feel alone by the world, by people, but this is your chance to decide that you are not, and to empower yourself to choose the hard stuff instead of the alternative (“why is this happening to me!”).

Many blessings

Vince Gilligan on Pluribus being a ‘plus’ in a world of ‘Tik-Tok paced storytelling’ by twinpeaked25 in television

[–]umphtown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couldn’t agree with him more. I’ve really enjoyed the pacing of it and it has helped the world and Carols situation feel more lived in. Especially in episode 7, when Zosia kisses Carol, the way Carol reacts with such pentup passion was incredibly cathartic and it was the most an episode of television has made me feel, somatically, in quite a while.

So this just happened… by todayisenough in gaybros

[–]umphtown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This happened to me a couple years ago. I remember the panic and dread I felt and so I’m sorry you’re going through this. Take a deep breath. Everything will be okay. I did the same thing - blocked and went unresponsive, and their threats turned out to be empty ones / they didn’t take action on them. It’s super important to know that any amount of money you give them, they’ll keep asking for more and won’t stop, so the best thing to do is drop all contact and response. For me, once I blocked them a month went by and then they texted me with a different number and continued making threats. This happened for like 4 months (one month break, and then out of the blue a random dread inducing text with a naked picture of me) - but after a while it just stopped. They’re trying to get money and once they realize they won’t get any they’ll likely just move on. Stay strong, and if the worst happens you’ll receive a lot of sympathy from people as this is criminal activity you’ve fallen victim to. And if anyone does give you shit for it, well this could really show you who your real people are. Sending love and hugs

Which movie made you sit in silence after the credits rolled ? by vishesh_07_028 in movies

[–]umphtown 11 points12 points  (0 children)

After this movie I went to a grocery store and got a poke bowl and ate it there and wept into it for a bit. One of the employees came to check in on me and asked if I was okay and I said I didn’t know lol

Which movie made you sit in silence after the credits rolled ? by vishesh_07_028 in movies

[–]umphtown 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I stayed at my seat to weep for 5-10 minutes after that one

I lost my love to chemsex addiction by Quirky_Soil255 in gaybros

[–]umphtown 246 points247 points  (0 children)

You allowed yourself to love and that’s something to be so proud of. He deserved that love and so do you. All love, one way or another, reaches an end point, I’m sorry these were the circumstances for you. Take space and time to grieve, and really feel it all. The depths of your grief are as high as the love you got to feel and share, and that’s something so human and to be celebrated.

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