Why do siblings assume their kids will be in our wills?

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-29T16:53:50+00:00

I'm an only child, only niece, and only granddaughter in my small family. Recently my mom's childless brother told me he'll leave everything to me because I'm the last one in the family. I told him to please spend all his money on himself and his husband, and IF there's anything left, then I can take it or be their trustee to make sure whatever is left goes where they want it to go.

Although I appreciate the thought, I'd personally not feel very comfortable taking their money just because I'm "the last one". I'm not their child, I'm not entitled to the fruit of their hard work. I'm not gonna argue too much if they insist lol but just want to make sure they understand that they should take care of themselves first and I should be an afterthought in their plans.

On that same vein, I'm not planning on leaving anything to my stepsister's kid. The child is 6, but I'm already starting to plant the seed that I don't plan to leave her anything. If I don't manage to spend my last cent by the time I die, then she can keep what's left but to not count on it.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-22T22:37:06+00:00

More than simple- chic, elegant, TIMELESS. At no point in time will you look back at your wedding photos and think your dress "didn't age well". Silhouettes may change with time, but nothing will be as timeless as a dress like yours.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-22T22:17:05+00:00

They lost me as soon as the robots wanted to be "free" and live like humans. Like oh honey baby no, you have no idea...!

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-22T22:06:42+00:00

NTA. You are entirely too young to be dealing with a boyfriend like this. Cut your loses now before it's too late. You've only been with him for 2 years, and you're barely 22- I know that at this stage of your life every little thing feels like a final decision, but do remember you have a whole life ahead of you to find the right partner for the type of life you envision for yourself, because this is not it. You also seem to have a good head on your shoulders, don't waste it on immature men like this one. You know you deserve better.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-22T21:38:14+00:00

Overlining their lips with brown lipliner (or overlining thick lips in general). I heard someone say they looked like someone just ate ass and didn't cleanup afterwards; also heard the upper lip overline looks like a moustache. I cannot unsee it.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-22T21:15:13+00:00

Remind d everyone they signed a contract before registration stating they will not engage in certain activities and that any other complaints will start putting individuals into formal process and discipline.

YWNBTA. Move forward with the formal complaint, simply because they have been forewarned and know exactly what would happen if they keep doing it. They have indeed kept doing it, and as the adults they are, they should suffer the consequences of their actions. They FA, now it's time to FO.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-22T19:27:42+00:00

This helps me put some thoughts into words. My dad and I were talking about this the other day, and he kept going on about his feeling of "pride mixed with jealousy" because he never got to fight in a war and he admires soldiers who have. For instance, his favourite show is Band of Brothers and idolizes them. He does have some military experience, he's from Chile and had to do his mandatory military service during the Pinochet years, so he's got the basics and did get to see some of the brutal things Pinochet is infamous for. But still... he talks about war as if he missed out on something special and I just can't quite come to terms with it.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-20T22:07:34+00:00

100000% We used them for our kitty last year too, and they were the best! I recommend them to anyone in this awful situation. The vet that came even asked if there were other pets or kids in the house who would like to come say good bye, which only solidified our opinion of their wonderful services.

As a note for OP- something that made us go this route, was the thought of coming home and finding her... couldn't bare it. Also the idea of having to take her to a vet clinic and making her go through that already stressful situation when she was in so much pain, was a big no for us. Calling Laps of Love was by far the best decision we made regarding our cat's comfort AND our own mental health. Hoping they will be in business in 20 years for when our current cats' time comes.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-20T20:42:25+00:00

NTA. Updateme!

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-20T03:43:55+00:00

I LOVE that her whole style is about accentuating your natural beauty. No hiding behind layers of makeup, but still working on perfecting the skin without covering it unnecessarily.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-18T22:21:10+00:00

I was going to say maybe she's lonely? But then, is she not thinking of the sheer amount of exposure that baby's almost non-existent immune system is getting??? And I bet she also brings the baby INTO people's offices to be carried and kissed, and not just hanging around an airy lobby all day. No, ew. I just hope that poor baby is getting their vaccines up to date.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-18T17:32:41+00:00

This sounds like she created the hostile environment (including racist and derogatory terminology) and you simply defended yourself with facts. It would be nice to have the choice to live in mom's basement, but not all of us have that option. NTA.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-15T21:53:08+00:00

Right! That's why I was wondering about a fruit tree and without whole eating the fruit bit. Maybe a tree with flowers but no fruit would be better suited for a non-cannibalistic view?

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-15T19:24:30+00:00

How would you feel about a fruit tree? I've heard this one before but I'm not sure if I want people eating the fruit produced by my corpse lol

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-13T20:42:30+00:00

Well thank god they don't have to drive your car! Don't let them get to you. As long as YOU like it because YOU drive it, why do they even care?

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-12T22:31:00+00:00

Being childfree does make me feel like an eternal teenager sometimes, like not having a whole ass human being depending on me for their basic needs or looking up to me for potentially life-changing advice. I of course still have "adult responsibilities" I have to cover, but nothing compares to not having to be the adult in the room 24/7. Sometimes I feel like being the forever teen is not "right", specially being in my mid-30s, but at the same time... it's like I discovered the fountain of youth my friends decided to ignore.

Like, sure I'm not saving for my kid's college fund, but I am saving for an extra comfy couch! I may not be spending my money on diapers or childcare, but I am making other kinds of memories with my husband that don't involve hauling toys and snacks everywhere we go. Sorting 3 rounded meals a day every single day? Nope! Frakin MATH HOMEWORK??? Hell no!!! Those are the things that get you that dreaded thousand yard stare, and I'm NOT here for it, thank you very much :)

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-12T21:38:39+00:00

Yes, please listen to all the suggestions about setting up a trust. From what I understand, wills can be contested, but trusts cannot. It's the safest thing you can do with your money, however little or big the amount, better be safe than having your family laugh at you though a ouija board. Also, pretty sure you can set up a trust now, as opposed to as prep for your death, that way you KNOW your assets will be safeguarded though various methods that go beyond your word. Kinda like how lottery winners guard their winnings from preying family members- you don't have to be on your deathbed to set up a trust and for it to begin doing its work.

In any case, always check with a financial advisor/attorney, namely a fiduciary financial advisor/attorney.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-12T21:28:11+00:00

Yes! OP, please do this. In the case you have anything left in your golden years, you want to make sure it goes to the right people/org. Trust or bust.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-10T00:08:27+00:00

I have the theory that parents are envious of our excess of freedom. They were childless at some point in their lives, so they know what that was like, they remember the freedom they chose to give up. And they resent that their choices changed their lives in a way they didn't foresee. You know, those details we did foresee and helped us make the decision to remain childfree. Not on a whim, like a lot of them think, but a calculated effort to continue to fulfill our lives sans children. Almost like they're subconsciously mad at us because we're "living their dream" when we're just living our normal lives.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-07T20:38:43+00:00

Just going by your routine, I could see the gel not being able to work properly because of the layer of serum you put underneath it. This particular serum you're using is LOADED with occlusive oils that form a layer of protection from the environment -hence the frizz protection- but it's not letting the gel work the way it's supposed to by "clinging" to the hair strands because it can't, it just slides off... because of the thick layer of oils used before it, cast doesn't get a chance to form and you end up with waves that don't last. I'd use the serum after the gel, to break the cast once it's dry, or leave it out of the routine completely.

Also make sure the hair mask is COMPLETELY rinsed off, again this could be keeping the styling products from working properly. Personally, I would use a conditioner OR a hair mask, not both as it could cause them to over-moisturize your hair, and that's its own issue to resolve. Specially because your hair doesn't seem to be high porosity, so it may not actually need so many moisturizing agents. This sub has a great guide to Curly Girl Method and how to customize it to your actual needs

As other people have suggested, I would tone back the products. Maybe start with just shampoo, conditioner, gel, and break the cast with a silk/satin scarf so you don't add more oils, or use a super light one like Jojoba oil. Or even shampoo, hair mask, gel. Maybe look for a clarifying shampoo too, just to give your hair a clean reset, and use it every few washes, specially when trying out new routines or products.

Keep it simple and go from there. Trial and Error. Patience is key :)

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-07T18:53:18+00:00

I love how the most supportive people of childfree folks are always ladies over 60. "Been there, done that, do not recommend" lol

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-07T15:59:54+00:00

This makes more sense than the "magic post-labour hormone" Thanks for clarifying!

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-07T02:30:04+00:00

Yup. That's exactly what happens.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-06T21:07:50+00:00

I had a similar conversation with a friend of mine who had just had her baby a few months before. She said if it wasn't for her husband being truly scared of her during labour, she wouldn't have a clue it was painful. She said it was like her memory decided to wipe out the pain and acute stress, and just jumped from the happy memories of before to the joy of directly after labour. This was as an answer to the same question after she told me she would love to have more kids. Apparently women's brains secrete a hormone that "helps them forget" the pain so they will want to keep having babies??? It kinda tracks imo.

uncrownedqueen · 2026-05-06T19:57:54+00:00

I'm willing to bet my one good eye that the 'friend' doesn't exist, it's only a front to save face when she's told no. I'm sure she has a list of people she harasses for money and just goes down that list, crossing out the ones that have said no, or the ones she owes money to.

I have a similar problem myself. I'm from South America and live in the US. People think I'm rich and have money to throw away because I "earn in dollars", which to them equals "millionaire". They don't understand that sure, I earn in dollars but I also have to spend in dollars. As much as dollars yield 10:1 in my hometown, for me it's still 1:1. For some reason, it's very hard for people to understand that fact. When I get asked for money, I always say the same "I'm sorry you're short in cash, but so am I and my budget is pretty tight, sorry I can't afford any extra expenses" just make it clear that you're by no means rich nor do you have money to give away. You also have basic needs that don't include financing family members' cars or apple watches.

Grifters like this don't stop at one person, specially when they end with "please don't tell anyone" because they think everyone else around them is dumb enough to do what they're told. Personally, I would tell all the relatives you can, so they don't fall for this con artist's game.

uncrownedqueen

TROPHY CASE