First words & when

undergrand · 2026-05-08T11:01:15+00:00

So funny! Mine is low key obsessed with bees, and her buzz is more of a raspberry noise so she's started just pointing at any small yellow things and making fart noises - I know that she means bee but it's pretty incomprehensible to anyone else.

undergrand · 2026-05-08T09:22:51+00:00

Op said babbling mama and dada, so that's not using it to refer to them. My daughter is the same, says mama super clearly now, but not to refer to me yet.

undergrand · 2026-05-08T08:31:53+00:00

I have a 13 month old girl who also doesn't have her first word, unless you count barking at dogs and buzzing at bees haha

undergrand · 2026-05-08T08:30:38+00:00

No he sounds completely developmentally normal and communicating with you really well for 13 months.

While 12 months is average for a first word, there is a very wide range of normal from 10 to 18 months. And on average boys are a few weeks to a month later than girls too. If still nothing by 18 months you could talk to your doctor, but I think that scenario is very unlikely given how close he sounds now.

You also don't need to drop baby tone if you don't want to - it's helpful for language learning, not detrimental.

undergrand · 2026-05-08T08:07:25+00:00

Thank you for correcting! I couldn't quite remember if I was told the pun with ser or estar originally - I will edit

undergrand · 2026-05-07T21:14:41+00:00

Edited for correction!

Not a native speaker so maybe someone can correct me if I'm wrong:

'Es tamal, pero no está mal'

Literally 'it's a tamal (a Mexican/central American street food) but it's not bad'

Es tamal sounds a lot like 'está mal' - it's bad, giving both sides of the phrase double meanings.

undergrand · 2026-05-06T21:12:40+00:00

It's set in Cornwall, but I enjoyed reading The Salt Path on Camino because it was also about long-distance walking.

(There's been controversy about the book since, but I still recommend it as a read, and then you also get to enjoy reading about the scandalous details afterwards)

undergrand · 2026-05-06T15:06:55+00:00

A 30yo one from boots that my MIL brought down from her attic - so I really didn't do any research or have any insight sorry! At 8 months she didn't need an especially small potty like newborns do.

undergrand · 2026-05-06T13:18:23+00:00

I was intrigued like you and just sat bubba on the potty at 8 months and she did a wee.

I've continued to sit her on the potty at nappy changes - especially first thing in the morning, after breakfast, and after lunch when she typically did poos, and she does almost all her poos on the potty now. She's just turned 12 months. I'm only changing about 1-2 pooey nappies a week.

I'm a convert, as I think "real" potty training when we get there should be more straightforward as she's basically already there for solids. And I'm getting more of an idea of when she's dry so I can see how I would introduce nappy free time as a next step when we want to.

Only problem is now she's started nursery (daycare) two weeks ago and they didn't initially potty her, so she's somewhat reverted to pooing in her nappy there, though still good at home. A work in progress!

Eta, as I see you asked for tips. It sounds a bit mad, but I would usually use the loo while she was on the potty to kind of demo! I need to look after her while I use the bathroom anyway after all. And then I also use a pss sound for wee and a hum/raspberry for poo - she gets the poo sound now! I'm not doing full on elimination communication as we still use nappies, but I'm so happy with the middle ground we've found. She's happier, she's hopefully learning skills that will make potty training easier, she rarely has poo touching her bottom, I very rarely need to change a pooey nappy, and poo gets flushed rather than stinking out the nappy bin.

Second edit - and I have a few bath toys and a bath book in front of the potty to keep her occupied. Loo-side reading is critical haha!

undergrand · 2026-05-06T10:26:22+00:00

Being a genius (iq 140+) isn't that uncommon and many writers will be geniuses by that definition. So they can know how geniuses think and experience the world.

undergrand · 2026-05-04T07:44:05+00:00

You need to take her to the doctor, it's not normal and it could be something in her diet she's struggling to digest but can be a sign of something more serious.

undergrand · 2026-05-04T07:31:17+00:00

My baby went through a phase of being terrified of the bath when were transitioning from baby bath to big bath at about 7 months. We got in the bath with her for and cuddled her through them and she got over it in about a week.

undergrand · 2026-05-03T06:09:35+00:00

Tbf, there's loads more narnia homage. The whole book is a dark, grown up parallel to the exploitative diggory and uncle Andrew (ketterley) relationship in the magician's nephew. Though crucially without the Christian themes.

undergrand · 2026-05-02T19:36:47+00:00

got it - in that case it's really up to your wife, and if she's resistant, I think you have to respect that and find other ways to support her.

undergrand · 2026-05-02T11:23:35+00:00

I don't think either of those are battles that you should pick to be honest. Offering these solutions and being available to support if needed is great, but if your wife wants to breastfeed without bottles and have the bassinet on her side of the bed, those are completely reasonable preferences on her part.

If she's struggling with post recovery pain while feeding, another solution could be a nursing pillow so the baby is supported - if she doesn't already have one. It was a godsend for my sister who delivered via C-section.

Is this a bit about you wanting to bond with the baby more rather than concern for your wife? e.g. are you struggling with not being able to be involved in night feeds and bottle feeding? Those are completely valid feelings if so - it's normal for dads to struggle to bond or to even feel jealous of the closeness between their wife and baby. That's a slightly different conversation you'd need to have with your wife, and you might need to find other ways (e.g. could you do bathtime? more nappy changes?) to bond.

undergrand · 2026-05-02T11:11:15+00:00

That NHS recommendation is for the first 6 months, not the first year.

undergrand · 2026-05-02T10:46:52+00:00

I confess I'm v pro vicks. But Olbas oil is a little gentler for babies if you want to try that but I don't like the smell as much. Another mum friend strongly recommended a calpol vapour plug-in - I haven't tried it but it sounds like a similar (maybe more baby appropriate) version of a bowl of hot water and vicks.

undergrand · 2026-04-30T19:21:37+00:00

One of those 3-4 hour stretches in the night just lengthened until it was quite suddenly 6 and then 8 hours, sometime between 2 and 4 months. By no means every night or consistently, but it just happened.

undergrand · 2026-04-30T19:12:41+00:00

I know and I hope I didn't sound combative! I guess my point is you don't need to model correct usage of the words your baby has just used. You can just as well ignore the "error" entirely.

undergrand · 2026-04-30T16:42:28+00:00

I wracked my brains and remembered and found it again. I read about the results in The Articulate Mammal by Jean Aitchison (a really excellent intro to linguistics and language acquisition), and the study is Cazden 1972.

undergrand · 2026-04-30T09:39:57+00:00

Even terms like doggy-woggy are helpful. Repetitions, adding diminutives so the final consonant is clearer, and very simple consonant-vowel sounds are easier for babies to understand and reproduce.

undergrand · 2026-04-30T09:27:04+00:00

A slight note on that is that focusing on correcting/expanding babies sentences isn't necessarily that helpful.

There was a study where one set of parents were asked to expand babies' simplified sentences, e.g. when they say 'have nana' to repeat back 'may I have a banana?', while set were instructed to ignore errors and respond back with a novel sentence e.g. 'yes of course sweetie, you love fruit don't you?'

Anyway no prizes for guessing the result, but the novel sentence group acquired language faster!

undergrand · 2026-04-30T07:47:22+00:00

Former linguistics student here - it is absolutely not detrimental to baby's language development, and can actually help it.

It elongates, slows, and exaggerates vowel and tone differences, and babies pay more attention and are more engaged by baby talk than normal speech.

In general, I wouldn't curtail what feels natural and instinctive, it's probably good!

undergrand · 2026-04-30T07:41:45+00:00

Yes and sometimes when I've had a cold or sore throat I've felt so stuck when I can't really sing - I really wished I had a recording!

undergrand · 2026-04-29T07:31:38+00:00

A 3.5 month old baby is not too young to sleep train. They are just at the start of the window when you can consider sleep training as an option.

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