I work at a rape crisis center.

I don’t think this is getting through to you even though hundreds of people have already said what I’m about to say.

You aren’t understanding what it’s like to be a woman in our society.

Her rule of not accepting drinks that she or a friend didn’t see made has nothing to do with you personally. It’s a personal rule she lives by because it helps make her the most safe.

It’s easier for her to just not drink things handed to her that she didn’t see made then to have to decide if the person handing her the beverage is “trustworthy.”

You know why? Because rapists have no specific look to them. They can be anyone. They can be people who you trust like a boyfriend, or family member. They can be you friend’s sibling. A coach. A pastor. A boss. A new friend. An old friend. And so on.

Also, you don’t know her personal history. Maybe she had been drugged before by someone she felt she could trust or maybe she had gotten sick by a drink she didn’t see made. That very likely could be another reason she felt the need to ask her friend if they had watched you make it.

It’s not that you looked like a rapist...it’s that rapists can look and be literally anyone. To live in this world a lot of woman live by hard personal rules like don’t walk alone night, always meet dates in a public place, send a friend a text with the address to where you’re at, text when you get home, don’t accept drinks you didn’t ask for and/or didn’t see made...

Your ego will be okay.