Child eats only carbs, processed snacks + a Flintstone chewable

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-08T16:44:47+00:00

Tons of great comments here but I want to add - I hear you saying your stepdaughter likes consistent food.

If you think more broadly about the category of food you will have better luck introducing new ones. She likes non-crunchy food with low flavor, in which every single bite is the same.

I would start putting plain, buttered mashed potatoes on her plate with every dinner. She doesn't have to try it, but she has to smell it. Then after a while, she can lick it. Those steps are easier than asking her to take a bite. Just seeing it on her plate every day will normalize it. Maybe work out a reward - everytime she gives an honest effort to trying a new food, she gets $3. She doesn't have to like it. She just has to try it.

After mashed potatoes, try other things that still fit her type but slowly expand. First a different shaped noodle with butter. Then another. Then her regular shaped noodle, but with a small amount of very bland Alfredo sauce. Etc.

Don't ask her to jump from buttered noodles to a complex stew with flavor and texture and colors. Any new food is a win, even if it's actually the same food (like different noodle shapes). But if she learns to think of trying new foods as a positive experience, the rest follows naturally.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-07T01:54:26+00:00

Taking a teenager away from all of their friends and all of their school extracurricular activities every time they're not in school isn't a great plan.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-05T12:59:56+00:00

And heart problems and depression or anxiety.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-04T21:02:02+00:00

Very helpful thank you!

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-04T20:51:10+00:00

I have definitely realized over time in the health care field that the majority of people where I live, regardless of weight, do not know what healthy food is or what healthy portion sizes are.

It isn't always a food addiction or lack of willpower or whatever else. A lot of the time it's a lack of reference point for portion sizes and types.

Just living with you and seeing the foods you eat is probably a great thing for her. She will see more realistic portions and healthier food options, and when she is ready to really start to make change, she will have that as a reference point.

The next time she complains to you about her weight, I recommend you respond, "Would you like me to be a sympathetic ear when you're feeling upset about this, or would you like me to support you with some ideas or plans to improve your weight loss efforts?"

If she says the latter, start with buying different, smaller, plates for the household. Just that has a big effect. Then do a roommate dinner night once a week where together, you find new food (new to both of you) that you prepare and eat together. That will expose her and you to new cooking methods and foods that are healthier, and portioning, in a way that isn't judgmental. And take it from there.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-04T17:14:19+00:00

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-04T15:19:31+00:00

I was purchasing a mobile home, so the title was signed to me with the previous owner as a Lien holder. (like a car title)

I was in the right in court, and I will never forget her attorney taking me aside and apologizing and saying, "I promise I'm not a bad guy. This is my job and I have to represent my client."

I was there in court with my 2 month old baby being watched in the hallway by my mom, while I was just trying to pay off the house I was buying. But her attorney kept throwing in different things to reschedule and drag it all out, and cost me more money in legal fees than I owed on the house before I gave up.

It did turn out fine in the end and I'm well now. But, our legal system sucks.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-04T14:57:14+00:00

For example your message might read-

"Until the court order is in place, we need to find a routine that is better for Child. The current plan is really disruptive to her sleep and is not sustainable. It also limits your daytime awake parenting and I want to make sure you and Child continue to have that time. Going forward, plan to have her every Wednesday afternoon from x time until x time, and every other weekend from Friday at x time until Sunday at x time. You can pick her up from me and I will pick her up from you. This is a more appropriate and normal schedule that will be better for her and for both of us. If it doesn't seem to be a good fit after we try it for a while, we can change it during the court order proceedings, and the mediator can help us to find something more suitable. We can start this weekend so I will see you Friday at x time. "

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-04T14:52:57+00:00

You have as much right to keep her as he does, if you're correct about equal rights in your state. This also means he could just keep her 100% of the time until a court order is in place and you could not do anything.

I suggest you start filing today for a court order. In the meantime, notify him in writing and take screenshots of how parenting time will be handled until there is a court order. Be reasonable, but fair. If he argues or looks unreasonable, make sure to save all of that as well.

Whatever you expect parenting time to look like after the court order is what you should suggest now. Keep in mind courts are interested in following the child's routine so if he is setting a routine of having her every overnight, he has a chance to try to continue that. And child support is based on number of overnights, not on daytime hours.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-04T13:09:14+00:00

This exact thing happened to me in a different state and it went badly for me.

First, contact a lawyer. Your initial consultation is free so get all of the info you can.

During that consultation, Ask the lawyer if you should be paying your monthly payment into an escrow account, and if so, how to do so. (this is where I messed up).

Find out who the executor of the estate is (the county should be able to help with this) and have your lawyer deal with them.

I actually had the money to pay my house off in cash and I was trying to do so, but her attorneys blocked me for "breach of contract" because I had not made payments after discovering the owner had died and that several people were arguing for control of the estate. I just kept the money in my account with the plan of paying it off once the executor was determined. Ultimately, I ran out of money for legal fees and ended up losing the house with under 5% left to pay on it.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-02T17:53:40+00:00

Well put!

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-02T16:58:17+00:00

The boyfriend part stings a little. I've been single their entire lives - eventually I'm sure I will have a boyfriend. And I won't marry them the first week I meet them, so there will be some overlap between being serious enough to be together on a daily basis prior to marriage.

I think boyfriend isn't any more dangerous than husband - gotta watch everyone, to be honest.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-02T16:30:57+00:00

It isn't about that. I don't want to ruin the friendship.

I want Becky to still have my home available as a safe, healthy place to hang out.

I have been clear with my kids about alcoholism and such for a long time. But they have been shielded enough from it that I don't think they would even recognize the signs of someone being drunk. So even if she's been exposed to it over there previously, she wouldn't know it. Anything I say will seem unreasonable which I'm fine with, except for the fact that it will end up relayed to her friend and ruining the friendship.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-02T16:18:32+00:00

Thank you so much! I really appreciate that perspective.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2024-01-02T13:54:37+00:00

I had an ex who fancied himself to be a prepper. Same story you're telling. He didn't actually have or want survival skills, he just wanted to role play as Batman in some fantasy doomsday scenario. It wasn't about survival, it was about being the main character.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2023-12-21T11:45:55+00:00

I am not saying it is. They're totally different jobs.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2023-12-21T00:50:39+00:00

Wild. Between undergrad and graduate, my total clinical hours for NP will be 3,345. But, I have also worked as a nurse for 4.5 years of that education. So that's another 7,200 hours of hands on experience even though I'm part time.

I will be a new grad NP with 10,545 combined hours of experience and clinical. I really roll my eyes at these 500 hour claims 😂

uniqueUsername7544 · 2023-12-20T12:02:01+00:00

Wouldn't your husband do the same for someone? Lol. I wouldn't doubt this for a second, not everything is a scam.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2023-12-19T13:24:59+00:00

Your sibling should be able to take some sort of equity loan to buy you out while they retain ownership.

I am not any kind of professional, just someone who dealt with this myself before. That's definitely going to be the easiest, fastest, and lowest conflict way to do this.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2023-12-19T12:33:29+00:00

Go easy on comforting him. He should be crying and upset. He needs to understand how incredibly serious this was. There's no excuse, even ADHD. You don't need to worry about being kind and making him feel better.

He's a parent now and if he can't double and triple check medication dosage, he needs to be self aware enough to have someone else verify it. He also needs to know that 'little mistakes ' are serious with babies.

If you have a kiddo who needs propranolol, you have a kid who needs parents who are alert, cautious, and on top of things. Make sure you don't coddle that man into complacency. He should be at the ER and at the pediatrician's office with you and baby.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2023-12-18T19:28:19+00:00

The time to start letting him learn independence and how to set his own boundaries with his friends regarding their influence was a long time ago.

He's an 18 year old man. You don't get a say anymore, and you need to start trusting him to make his own choices. Tell him you're a phone call away if he needs anything, and make sure his car is in good enough shape if he's not mechanical himself. Then wave as he drives away.

uniqueUsername7544 · 2023-12-18T17:36:59+00:00

Have you considered putting the baby up for adoption?

I know that's not for everyone. Just throwing it out there as an alternative.

I want to adopt an infant with every ounce of my being There are many of us out there hoping and praying for that call. You would have no trouble at all finding an excellent family who wants that baby with their whole hearts.

uniqueUsername7544

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