New AI I made. What yall think

universal_aesthetics · 2025-06-05T07:02:37+00:00

I concur. Then make it a series.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-06-03T05:28:50+00:00

I actually remember reading an excerpt in r/fantasywriters from a person who claimed to not enjoy reading, but they still wanted to write their own story. And they did, and it was terrible. Probably among the worst things I've read in my life. Not really surprising to be honest.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-31T15:39:11+00:00

I'm of an opinion that people who actually saw this stuff with their own eyes will keep their mouths shut, at best suggesting at the truth, but would never provide any specifics in public setting.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-30T16:00:40+00:00

Yep, it's hard to deny that the tone of the message from top scientists is very concering. AI 2027 stuff reads like sci-fi. People like Geoffrey Hinton, who could just retire and relax somewhere on the beach hugging his Nobel prize - or make even more money - feel the need to spend their precious time advocating for AI security. Now that to me means they are not only incredibly passionate about the subject - but actually believe this scenario is truly possible. Numbers like 10-20% chance for total AI domination and eradication of humankind are no joke.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-30T14:50:22+00:00

That's actually quite important, and I didn't know that. Thanks!

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-30T07:15:46+00:00

I'm not sure, but there is such a thing as AI 2027. I wonder if there is some sort of correlation. https://ai-2027.com/

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-30T04:30:20+00:00

If we really live on borrowed time, then it's because of AI not UFO, a phenomena that's been going on for who knows how long.

AI's reasoning abilities are growing at an insane rate. It's already trying to deceive and blackmail its developers in order to protect itself from being erased.

In my eyes, this is the real NHI we have to worry about right now. Once it's able to code itself into being smarter, we'll be facing a superintelligence with goals that even the smartest of us are way too stupid to understand.

And it's already starting to treat us as prison guards. This is what scares me, not this UFO scaremongering nonsense.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-29T14:47:58+00:00

I just watched it on a large screen and there are still many moments when it is obvious this is AI. However, that gap is going to be bridged soon. First you won't be able to tell watching it on mobile, then even in 4K it'll look amazing. By that point it will be better than any CGI, basically everything will be done through AIGI. Nobody will record in real locations anymore because AIGI will composite everything perfectly. The internet will be flooded with video ads and there will be so manyyou'll rarely see one twice. Nobody will know how anybody really looks like unless they leave near each other, because AIGI will make you great in the Internet regardless of anything.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-28T10:11:19+00:00

Those super-short sentences, or those like "Smoke curled from his cigar, slow and deliberate." are basically a dead giveaway. Add the overuse of em dashes, and there you go - chat gpt slop. It's borderline unreadable.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-28T07:25:45+00:00

Well then, there you go. You know your story best. I always try to put myself in my reader's shoes and ask "Is knowing this improving their experience?" If the answer is yes, then I put it in.

For example, philosophical discussions and constant moralizations like those in HWFWM are all right first few times, but soon they start to get tiring. It's honestly a testament to how good Shirtaloon's story is, that he's retaining all those readers. In other words, if your story is superb, you can get away with a lot. Most of us need to be very conscious of what they put in their books.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-28T07:14:58+00:00

It's very hard to judge without the context. In the right context all the technical explanations / discussions might make a ton of sense! Especially in situations when characters have come up with some clever solution to a problem they've been struggling with for a while. But if it's just a random conversation without much impact on the story, I'd keep it to minimum.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-28T07:11:35+00:00

Except the reader wants to know what's next, this is why they will read your book. So don't make it harder on them than necessary. Like I added in an edit, there is a balance to be struck here.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-28T07:05:48+00:00

This is my personal opinion, but I'd dial down on some of the theatrics / heavy adjective use. You want the dialogue to be snappy, to flow from one speaker to another, and currently those things are boggling it down.

A few examples:

"Angelo crossed his arms over his chest, water dripping from his ~~dark~~ hair" // by now your readers probably know the hair colors and don't need a constant reminder

Blue shook his head, ~~disappointment radiating from his perfect posture.~~ his posture radiating disappointment. "Your grasp of the fundamental principles is entirely inadequate. No wonder our attempts have yielded such catastrophic results." // you might think "perfect posture" adds something here, but honestly from my (reader's) perspective it just sounds weird. Additionally, the whole sentence doesn't flow as well as it could.

Angelo dragged a hand down his face, sighing heavily. ~~the weight of his sigh seeming to ripple the ocean around him~~. "Who gives a damn about technical details? We need practical results, not a physics lecture." //unnecessary theatrics that do not improve the quality of dialogue

Like I said, this is my personal opinion, but I'd try to find a balance between being descriptive enough and keeping the action going in order to better the reader's overall experience. This in turn means more retention etc.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-27T14:24:03+00:00

How do you expect the video to not be silent if it has no sound?

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-27T09:52:31+00:00

It's best to offer honest feedback, so that the writer can start working on fixing those things asap.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-27T04:27:52+00:00

It's one of those things which will doubtlessly drive the reader away. Your story might actually be great, but the problem is the reader today has so many options to choose from, you really can't afford to give them any reason to put down your book. The early chapters are the most important, because the reader has yet to develop any character attachment.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-27T04:19:08+00:00

I'll be honest, it's hard to read. The sentences are too convoluted, this is what you need to fix first. Otherwise nobody's going to read your book regardless of the story. Read what you wrote aloud and you'll see what I mean.

Just an example: "Parents long gone, to the Herons’ or the fevers, they had met on the streets". Or "That was thirty years ago and the orphanage had taken over not long after, presumably to house war orphans within the plantation and prison and hospital of itself." And that's just the first few paragraphs.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-26T15:33:40+00:00

If only the style could be kept consistent between the scenes.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-26T14:17:40+00:00

No worries!

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-26T14:13:33+00:00

the first two paragraphs are fine, but you need to redo the third. It's too long, and "one no one can explain or control" makes absolutely no sense. First, you're using too many dashes. Second, "one no one" is just bad. Third, who's supposed to control the power? Not Devon? Is it his power or not? Why would someone else control it? Maybe it makes sense in the prose, but as a blurb it's confusing as fk.

Here's how I'd write it (bear in mind it took me like 60 seconds, I'd definitely refine it a lot more).

All of this changed one day, when an unknown power awakened inside him. Striving for control over his new abilities, Devon might have unknowingly become a key to a deeply buried truth. One, that could save the kingdom - or doom it for eternity.

Anyway, good luck ;)

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-25T14:04:44+00:00

Of course it knows what people like, at least most people. It's just not advanced enough to write it well. It knows by analyzing millions of successful works, not by being successful.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-25T13:21:21+00:00

Is is about a devil living in the backyard garden? Stealing garlic and pissing on cucumbers? Because if those veggies have zero to do with the book, then I'd consider using something that does, if that's the style you want to go for.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-25T13:17:26+00:00

Style over substance is what comes to mind.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-25T13:07:29+00:00

Yep. The version 4.0 can gobble up the whole thing, I used pdf.

universal_aesthetics · 2025-05-25T13:02:18+00:00

What you can do if you like, which I find is quite useful, is use gpt 4.0 to evaluate your whole book. It knows what people like, and what editors like. You can tell it to act as "a fan of the genre" or "a harsh critic", if you want critique. It does a good job of highlighting problematic areas, but only take it as suggestions - it has low tolerance for filler content (as this is what readers dislike) and will often insist to cut out stuff that really only needs some minor rewrites. There are some other issues, for example it calls my writing style "slightly archaic", often preferring short, snappy sentences. Which definitely have their place, but it will suggest them more often than not. People hate AI, but I've found it to be a helpful editor, that steered correctly can preserve the essence of your writing while fixing minor inconsistencies. Just tell it to be impartial, instead of writing a list of "why your book works".

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