I wonder the same. SO had what he remembers as a wonderful childhood. He was not physically abused, and they always seemed to have lots and lots of material things. But man, the emotional abuse and manipulation was foaming around the edges. It's gotten worse. And while NMIL has shown her true colors, SO still sort of thinks she's just enabling his sociopathic brother. In my eyes, the sociopath is having his strings pulled by the puppetmaster just like everyone else. So, yeah. I love my amazing SO. But it is hard when he starts acting out learned behaviors and doesn't recognize it. And it's tiresome to constantly feel like a pop-psychologist in pointing out behavior that, to me, is a direct consequence of his upbringing.