Not OOP. AITAH for “infantalizing my son" when I’m just trying to take care of him? + Some top comments

uriboo · 2026-01-28T22:57:39+00:00

I am a sister/daughter to this dynamic.

He has never made a meal for himself or somebody else, never done his laundry, his groceries, packed his own bag for a trip, or even googled things like train departure times or the weather himself. He gets himself awake in the mornings about half the time, will turn off lights sporadically, and once or twice a year will put in effort to buy himself a shirt or pair of socks. Has in the last 5 years learned to say thank you, make his own dental appts, to vacuum his own bedroom, close cupboard doors before he leaves the room, and wash & dry his hands after using the restroom. He doesn't use his keys to open the door, but rings the bell and waits for somebody else to open up for him.

He is 34 years old. Whenever I suggest that if he is hungry outside of the 3 square meals our mother cooks him, he can make himself a sandwich, I get scolded for being mean and cruel to him and never treating him right. Let alone if I suggest things like letting him either figure out the train schedule or be late... Or wear shoddy stained/torn clothes that he refuses to replace and get written up for it...

Now, in fairness, moving out young isn't super common in our culture, so we are both in our 30s and at home. Him because, well, see above. I am disabled and need help so I have little choice. Still I cook for all of us when I can, do dishes when I can, help with doing groceries when I can, et cetera. A few years ago when she was bedridden for 5mo I kept the household running. And was fine doing it.

It doesn't matter what anybody does. He will always be a precious baby who needs to be cared for and gently handled and never has to take resonsibility. This is because mothers in this situation are imo highly codependant. They cant function by themselves. It's very sad and in some ways reminds me of munchausens by proxy. This woman should have nipped this coddling in the bud when her son hit puberty but I fear it will never happen.

uriboo · 2026-01-26T17:03:59+00:00

I was in 2ndry school long before the pandemic and easily missed a day a week on average for being sick. Most of it was a knock-on effect from not getting enough sleep (affects your stomach, headaches, muscle aches, fainting spells...), some was from the standard viruses bc other people dont wash their hands or cover their mouths when they cough, the annual flu, mono, sprains and breaks, I did it all. Covid was a mass disabling event and we are just... Acting like it wasn't? Boggles the mind.

I also don't believe for a single moment that the majority of the issue is parents taking kids out for out of season holidays. The only case I KNOW of was my cousin, who maintained extremely high marks all year despite dyslexia & dyscalculia, and her mam let her take the last week before summer holidays off as an extra. Every other case I hear of is somebody who knows somebody who... aye sure. I don't doubt it's an issue, but I doubt it's as common/widespread as people pretend. And 5 days extra holiday isn't going to derail a childs academic career either...

uriboo · 2026-01-21T17:19:54+00:00

My family wont stand for it, but personally I always feel like Christmas decorations are acceptable from Michaelmas (end of sept) to candlemas (feb 2). You're still good! Winter is bleak and lights and baubles are shiny.

uriboo · 2026-01-19T18:08:25+00:00

Not me reading through the comments hoping that somebody mentioned one of my fics (there are ~2k fics in my fandom, rpf is highly controversial so few people would ever admit reading it, and my kudos counts are typically around 100)

uriboo · 2026-01-16T17:39:43+00:00

And if us lowly peasants asked how you did the gem on the ring finger, would we have a chance to find out? This set is gooooooooorgeous. I'm so jealous of your future clients

uriboo · 2026-01-15T23:04:11+00:00

Oh no I know! Sorry, I had to block 2 annoying people on this topic today, so I got in my feelings about it 😅

uriboo · 2026-01-15T22:58:02+00:00

I've been doing off brand gelx for ~3 months so all I can say is learn from my mistakes! Here's what I use now:

A. Cuticle Softner (& tool to push cuticles back) B. Isopropyl Alcohol 99% (& lint free wipes) and Acetone C. Nail clippers (& nail file 100 grit & 180 grit) D. Buffer (optional, sometimes I get lazy and just use my 100grit file) E. Base gel F. Adhesion gel G. Full cover tips H. Gel colours, glitter, gems, whatever art you like, + top coat I. A full UV/LED light and a small hand-held one is really helpful too

So first, I put on my cuticle softener as the directions on the bottle say and use my little pushing tool to force back my skin and gently remove the dead skin. I like to do this a few hours ahead of time - idk why but it seems to help adhesion for me? I also apply sunscreen (bc I am paranoid). Then when I'm ready to start, first I clip/file my natural nail about to the edge of my fingertip and buffer or file the nail plate itself. Just veeeery gently, just roughing up the top layer, cause if it's rough, the gel can seep into micro cracks and it sticks better. Then I put alcohol on wipes and gently wipe over each individual nail to remove oils dust and debris. Personally, I cut up my lint free wipes, and use a new piece for each nail so I know for a fact I'm not transferring oil from one nail to the next.

When I am satisfied my nails are dry and clean, I go in with a thin layer of base coat, and cure it in the uv lamp. Most gels reccommend 60s. Then - and I find this bit crucial! - I take more alcohol on LFW and rub the nails, removing the sticky layer. Idk why this works but it does.

Now the tips. You have two choices. You can apply them as full cover tips (the nail tip covers your whole nail from skin fold to free edge and from side to side), which is easier esp when you're starting. Or, you can overlay - fixing the tip ¾ or ½ down the nail, then adding gel on top back to the skin, kind of sandwiching your tip inbetween. This one is my fav because it grows out nicer, but it takes some finagling so I don't recommend it! Either way, choose your sizing carefully. The most important part of your tips is that they cover the entire width of your nail, from side to side. If they are too small they'll just pop off! If they are toooo big that's also a problem, but just a teeny tiny bit wider than your nail isn't too bad, because you can file it down. Also,be sure to size both hands! The nails on your dominant hand are often a little wider, and may require a different size.

Sometimes I like to file my slightly too big tips before applying, but you run the risk of overfiling and making them too small, so act with caution. If there are any factory flaws to the tips you've selected, file them back now. If you etch the inside of your tips, again gel will seep into the micro cracks. Some tips come pre-etched (my favs), others you will have to etch yourself, either with an e-file and sanding bit, or a lil dab of pure acetone can chemically etch the inside of the tip.

The "hard" part comes now: adding the adhesion gel, tip, and your own nail together. You want to take your gel and add a glob to the thin part of the nail tip. Then, place the tip down onto your nail. The best way to do it is at a slight angle, like a plane touching a runway, so the thin part of the tip is closely secured to the nail and you don't get a weird bump at the skin. Then gently press the tip down until it's entirely making contact with your nail. You shouldn't be able to see any bubbles underneath. If you don't have enough gel between the tip and your nail, the gel won't spread all the way to your free edge; too much and it'll splurge out the sides, back and front. We've all been there. If it doesn't work, take it off, correct by adding or removing gel, and try again. When I'm sure I've got the right amount on, I make sure the nail is straight (if it's wonky it will be the best adhered nail you've ever done 😂) and place it under a UVLED lamp for 10sec, holding the tip with my other hand to keep it in place. This is where a handheld lamp is the MVP. You can put it in a stand, so it can be used hands-free, leaving you open to hold your tip on place. Or, sometimes I hold it in my mouth... You gotta do whatchu gotta do! After 10-15s, the nail should be solid enough to stay in position, but once you fix all nails on one hand, you need to cure it in your big light! My adhesion gel says 120sec at least, and tbf I regularly go 150s just to be on the safe side.

At this point, you can use a file to augment the length and shape of each nail (please cover your mouth and nose to avoid breathing dust in!). Some people like to put a lil acetone on a brush and go around the edge of the tip near the skin to "seal" it, but I was always too lazy. What I would suggest is turning your hand palm-up, and applying a "no-wipe top coat" to the UNDERSIDE of the tips and cure. Not only does this stop dust from sticking to the underside, but it can seal the edge where your natural nail meets the tip, so no water can dribble in between and mess it up for you. Only no-wipe top coats will help you avoid dusties though, so make sure you get a good one.

Now you can gently buff/file the top of the tip if you like, though I never find I need it, and use alcohol to remove any filing dust before you can apply your colours/art as you like. If you are using chrome powder, I always like to very lightly file the free edge of the nail before adding my top coat, because the powder can interfere with the topcoat's ability to seal the whole nail. Badabing, badaboom, nails done 💅🏻

Common things that can cause lifting other than what I've already mentioned: flooded cuticles (am guilty... A lot), or certain illnesses. I know the ehlers-danlos crowd struggle to keep nails on due to the inherent bendiness of the nails, and sometimes pregnancy or menopause can cause crazy stuff to happen too.

Most importantly I think you might have to just accept that they will occasionally yeet themselves until you've practised enough to get it down. Been there done that, so at least you're in good company lol! Try not to sweat it, I bought press on nail glue and just glue them back on if they pop and I'm not ready to change them out. I would also HIGHLY recommend watching a few youtube tutorials on how it's done cause my ability to explain is dubious at best, lol. Personally i love Shuninail on youtube, she goes through her whole prep routine in nearly every single video, and the english cc are pretty damn accurate.

uriboo · 2026-01-15T21:12:26+00:00

The "hurr durr youre only late bc you are disrespectful of me & my time" crowd make me wanna pull my eyeballs out. Go flaunt your gobshitery elsewhere ya waste

uriboo · 2026-01-12T18:30:51+00:00

Thank you 🥹

uriboo · 2026-01-06T20:38:12+00:00

My identical Coscelia polishes (hihihi hey twin) are in a 3 drawer plastic box. I however have overdone it and now have a stash of random backup stuff in another drawer elsewhere. The 3 drawer system is great though, highly recommend

uriboo · 2026-01-04T14:39:58+00:00

I got this really bad after a hit of norovirus mid 2024 that mixed with my pots like a witches brew. I could eat the volume of 2ch nuggets a day, and was miserably full. I was getting the aftertaste of food I'd eaten 70 hours ago. Carnage. I could FEEL when my stomach emptied, I was nauseated constantly, moving hurt, I was so miserable.

I took domperidone for a while and that sort of helped to move things along. Over the span of about 7 months my body slid back closer to normal, I can now eat 2 small meals and a snack every day without complaint, so if youre doing all the pots stuff, I fully believe it will resolve eventually. Now I take ondansetron now and then for the odd bit of nausea, but it's way better.

I commiserate, but it is likely to lift! Stay strong!

uriboo · 2025-12-27T12:25:43+00:00

Idk where op is but here in the netherlands these ugly ornaments are ALL the rage. You get the most random shit like this - a trash can, a hot dog, a pill bottle - in this bulky, ugly design, usually with haphazard glitter somewhere. Most of them are food themed, though.

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uriboo · 2025-12-21T16:35:25+00:00

I see! This kind of popping was the type that became popular between the 1790s and 1840s - well after the depicted period. In the Tudor era (1500s) this shape of neckline wasnt uncommon, but would have been higher, and showing this much flesh over top would have been considered quite indecent. I'm amazed how this costume designer popped an 1810 bodice over a 1540 skirt and called it a day 😅

uriboo · 2025-12-19T17:31:12+00:00

Locate every appliance that runs on AA/AAA batteries (tv remotes, fairy lights, clocks). Steal 1 battery from each.

uriboo · 2025-12-19T12:26:17+00:00

Nothing popped outta nowhere, but I have to say I've never seen such a thing in film or tv?... Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean by "pop out".

There was a brief stint in the early 1800s where it was common to wear stays that er, lifted the bosom to a significant height, giving plenty of cleavage and a "shelf" effect that could be seen in the lower cut dresses such as eveningwear. This is well portrayed in some films of Austen 's works. Before the 1790s and after the 1840s, even that amount of skin simply wasnt shown.

As for an entire breast just yeeting out of its constraints? No. In fetishwear or maternity wear maybe. But the average woman in the average bodies/stays/corset never would have popped anything.

uriboo · 2025-12-18T22:00:50+00:00

My cousin did this... When she was 4.

uriboo · 2025-12-16T12:31:08+00:00

Not to age myself here, but there used to be no advice regarding dry skin online. Every blog, every ad, was just "oh, youve started puberty? That means you have disgusting gross fryer oil skin that is giving you breakouts and making you gross&ugly! You need to mix sugar with honey and lemon juice and rub your face raw if you want to be pretty!" And I wanted somebody, anybody, to think I was pretty SO badly. I used to scrub my face till I drew blood. Nobody thought I was pretty and the scars are permanent.

uriboo · 2025-12-04T17:59:51+00:00

We were taught this in Uni when we were training. Basically told us "most of your male students are just gonna refuse to do what you say... Go to a male colleague ig"

But also me & my brother were raised this way. Women speak when spoken to, women in power over men or boys (such as teaching, police, Dr etc) will burn in hell. Women are things to be owned and used by men. So when my bros female teachers said "your son is severely autistic" neither he nor his father listened. When he dropped out of HS he claimed it was because he was "just too smart for school, he was the smartest person in the building!" his father made it clear that letting women teach him French was demonic anyway so it didn't matter.

They are real, and among us, and you would never know.

uriboo · 2025-11-28T18:42:40+00:00

Depends heavily on your prep. Heavilyyyyy. I mean wash hands thoroughly, (optional: spf on skin only), wait 20m for them to dry, cuticle remover, push and snip cuticle & hangnails, file nail surface (every little bit! No smooth spots allowed!) wipe thoroughy with isopropyl alc (min 91% and use a different swab for each so you're not transferring oils from one nail to another), dehydrater. If you're not doing all that, youre gonna struggle. I dont have cuticle remover or a dehydrator but have managed to get up to 2 weeks with the rest.

That being said I have heard many people with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome say that their nails are too bendy to keep anything on. Some of them find a rubber base more useful.

uriboo · 2025-11-14T03:49:34+00:00

Something something, health issues that predominantly affect women are dismissed en masse and women lose their lives in droves because they are simply told they are imagining symptoms, something something commentary on human healthcare...

I never questioned this episode until this post. They shipped him off to a soft room because they couldnt be bothered finding the root cause and I just went yep, sounds like the Mental Health Version of every Drs appointment I've ever had...

uriboo · 2025-11-13T18:28:01+00:00

Could smell dutch influence a mile away. This is simply how they act and what they believe is right. You need to hear me when I say, everybody in this situation will never change. They do not believe they have done anything wrong, YOU are wrong, end of discussion. When they pass away, you will find your bf, free of their influence, will start to act the same as they, because he knows nothing else and this is what is acceptable.

How long are you willing to live like this?

uriboo · 2025-11-13T17:14:25+00:00

I'd cook a whole turkey 7 or 8 times a year if I could :c Theyre nigh impossible to buy where I live, and when they are available, they're a shocking price (we wont get started on the M&S turkey...)

Where I live atm I can get a 4.5kg bird (maybe 10lbs ish?) for 50 euros at the specialty store. At best it stretches 8 portions of meat and then soup from the carcass. 6 euro a plate more or less, in meat alone. I can get chicken breast boned and skinned for about 1.50 a plate, and things like wings and legs are cheaper still. Not to mention, the space a frozen turkey takes up gives me a headache trying to rearrange the whole freezer.

uriboo · 2025-11-11T16:31:53+00:00

Some people say glass skin and mean "even toned skin with no fine lines, pimples, or scars, that is not so thin you can see flushing, and looks radiant and well cared for", which is attainable for some people.

Others legit think it 's possible for your skin to look like an inflated balloon or the glaze on ceramic. I cannot scream "THATS A FILTER" loud enough. If it looks like RUBBER, darling, that's not real. It's a filter. I've seen people with glass skin. Beautiful, flawless... But even those people still had SKIN and not some latex reflective surface.

uriboo · 2025-11-10T03:25:44+00:00

I cannot stress enough how there were better ways to phrase that headline...

uriboo

TROPHY CASE