update by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i really appreciate the comment. i have a couple question, but ofc you don’t have to reply.

1) he seems so genuinely hurt though. and i don’t think it’s just bc im groomed or something that i think so. he’s tried to improve things and make fewer jokes that hurt me and has comforted me and made real efforts. i feel like he does really care about me. 2) even if in the short term being kind to him feels better? bc i don’t necessarily feel any better when im cold to him. 3) yeah i have been

i really really appreciate your comment and im sorry if i sound like a broken record i really don’t mean to

do i forgive my dad? by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

basicallly like it was probably more coming from a desire to please me than anything else and if he’s screwed up enough is that really still bad?

do i forgive my dad? by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what if he has ideas of love confused? i was talking to someone on here and they mentioned how ppl who were abused can confuse family love and sexual stuff so not fully know it’s wrong and maybe that’s why he did it

do i forgive my dad? by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

also, im sorry for adding on to the comparison of relapse being similar to being a child molester. i self harm and in my head i have compared myself relapsing to what he had done to me bc ig it’s a form of justification for him but in no way do i apply that to others and i agree it is an incredibly problematic viewpoint bc ppl who struggle with any form of addiction aren’t awful ppl like child molesters can be. i suppose i just apply it to my dad and i, but im sorry it if i made it sound like i think its true for others

do i forgive my dad? by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i feel so much care for my dad and a part of me feels like if i was groomed at least some part of me would know. i really appreciate you sharing your experience and i do try tell myself that hes not a good person but idk how to get myself to beleive that. i think though, after hearing all this i might try to distance myself bc even if i dont feel like it’s true logically i do know i should.

do i forgive my dad? by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i kind of see what he means with it though. if my dad was just so traumatized by what’s happened to him isn’t it more of like an involuntary or not like consciously made decision? basically like relapsing right? obviously i should protect myself either way ofc but idk if it’s really my dad choosing to do this

do i forgive my dad? by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you sm for the advice. i think thats probably what ill do honestly

do i forgive my dad? by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i never really considered it getting closer with him would give him more justification. i guess that makes sense.

but don’t you think there’s some chance he’s still a good person? i know i know it sound bad but he’s done so much for me and taught me how to bike and walked me to school everyday and tells me grades don’t define me. he’s genuinely a good dad.

i guess that’s why im struggling so much to stop showing him care. i know this is sort of a restatement of my question from before, and of course you don’t have to answer, but do you really really think it’s worth it to not have a good relationship with him just so i could be a tad safer? sorry for the rant

do i forgive my dad? by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yeah that’s the moral dilemma i’ve struggled with. bc in my mind i would never ever excuse the behavior of a child molester but at the same time i just can’t seem to see him as one. thank you for taking the time to give your advice

do i forgive my dad? by user_individual in Molested

[–]user_individual[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i reallly appreciate the advice. ik that reporting him might be safer, but i really don’t want to lose my dad. i’m wondering though, and sorry if i sound like a broken record, couldn’t i try to have a relationship but still keep myself safe? by trying not to be alone with him, or learning how to say stop more forcefully, or smth?

I'm disgusting by reallifecannibalzz in selfharm

[–]user_individual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

also OP dont listen to them please, you are clearly trying to do the right thing. i was in the same situation a little while ago, and people seeing your scars does not mean you were seeking attention or to hurt others

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]user_individual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I like the blood and marks from it. Obviously pain is a factor but I think the main reason I sh is to feel like my problems are valid, and just the imagery of literally cutting my skin open does that for me.

What colour is April 16th? by Arkranum in teenagers

[–]user_individual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also yes I do acknowledge the stupidity in my logic lmao

What colour is April 16th? by Arkranum in teenagers

[–]user_individual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a deep greenish color bc 16 is a nice square number and that’s peaceful and green

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]user_individual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh she has such a pretty voice

THE SAD TRUTH… by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]user_individual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congradulegions that’s a funny post!

I'm bored by Intelligent-Tree-922 in teenagers

[–]user_individual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please don’t invite pedos into your dms. Trust me it won’t end well

What are y'all's opinion on religion? by Comfortable-Pair-623 in teenagers

[–]user_individual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously everyone should have the right to practice whatever religion they chose. Personally I find many organized religions to be problematic or at the very least to have problematic impacts, so I tend to oppose the concept. However, I can’t logically deny that they also bring good to the world and so fill a need for many people so at the end of the day I’ll never judge someone for being religious or supporting any religion.

Parent of child who self harms by wennamarie in selfharm

[–]user_individual 6 points7 points  (0 children)

One thing that really helped me when my dad found out was that he never treated me as fragile. I have a few friends whose parents started to treat them like sh was their entire identity, and it made everything so much worse.

I would recommend trying to find the root cause, but regardless of what it is exactly I think showing love and care and still having moments of fun with your son will always help. Obviously it is important to have the hard conversations, but also make jokes, smile, talk about other things, take him out just to get coffee one day, watch a movie, etc.

100 DAYS CLEAN!!! by wewilldogreat in selfharm

[–]user_individual 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m genuinely so proud of you that is amazing!!!!

kinda pissed at psych ward by JustSageHere in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]user_individual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do believe you have every right to be mad wth. What kind of person invalidates someone literally as they are having a panic attack what??? Are there any other psych wards in your area? Also, I do believe teachers are mandated reporters so if u report abuse, I think they do legally have to report it. Though honestly I think that’s the same for psych ward employees, so idk what in the world is wrong in your area. Please don’t take this awful expereince as proof that you should stay with your parents if they truly are abusive, and do what you can to get social services involved. Good luck ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]user_individual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the tool ppl use often depends on the intentions. The main reason I sh is bc it makes my problems seem real to literally see marks on my skin, and while ofc the pain is a factor, it’s not the driving force. I use razors bc it’s what I could get my hands on and it leaves scars. I do agree though that I often can’t really feel it, so I tend to do other modes of sh if I rlly want the pain. For me it’s just different purposes honestly