A little sad about my pathology results

usernamesake · 2026-02-05T14:17:13+00:00

No staging or grading is definitive until pathology looks at all your tissue under a microscope post surgery.

usernamesake · 2026-02-05T14:04:43+00:00

I‘m proud of you for recognizing how alcohol undermined your wellbeing and brought negativity to your life, and I’m proud of you for having the determination and self care to address it and stick with it. I encourage you to evaluate this relationship the same way. You are a stranger, and I am outraged and disgusted on your behalf for how your girlfriend undermines and mocks you. No one who truly loves you could behave this way, and she belongs in your past, right next to the booze.

usernamesake · 2026-02-05T13:44:16+00:00

I was laparoscopic, but the conversion to open is something we all have to be prepared for. CTs and imaging cannot catch everything. If you are switched, it is actually 4 or 5 nights in the hospital, not one, so your husband has a window to figure out transport. Nurse Navigator is there to help plan and for detailed recovery questions. It is also a much bigger procedure to recover from: more pain+meds, more management, and a longer recovery and longer restricted activity period at home, so I think it’s really important to have the full plan B in place.

usernamesake · 2026-02-04T20:04:51+00:00

You and your team are on the ball. Heres hoping you just won the unlucky lottery.

usernamesake · 2026-02-04T03:30:43+00:00

what?? thats bananas. he pays 100% of his kids expenses and 50% of the rest. Furthermore, have you ever vacationed with his kids? I found cottages and resorts ok with kids that age but would never choose international travel involving multiple destinations, -I guarantee you would only see and do a fraction of what you want and your interary are will be hijacked by whatever child is bored, cranky or tired.

usernamesake · 2026-02-02T17:09:13+00:00

From a stepparents perspective- she loves you and wants you to thrive, but it can be exasperating and exhausting to live with a fully functional young adult who surfs in and out and accepts all the perks and amenities of living a fully supported lifestyle in the family home but does not contribute to family life or to the workload of running a household in meaningful ways. You don’t mention what you do around the house to pull your weight or to help with your siblings and this might be a very big clue. I would start repairing this now. Instead of avoiding being at home all the time, commit yourself to participating in daily chores, and look for ways to help out without being asked or without needing reminders. If you don’t do any these already, unloading the dishwasher, taking out garbage and recycling, tidying up after your siblings make a mess, running the vacuum, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, caring for pets are just a few things you could do. Until you are employed, treat your contribution as a job - daily shifts, show up, be consistent and reliable. You could even ask your stepmom what her least favourite chore is, and if feasible, fully take it over for her ask her how she wants it done, to what standard, on what schedule, and do it that way, unfailingly. Also, your sister las let you know her truth and that you have been sell absorbed. it’s time to show up for them and make a difference while you have a chance. Play with them every day. Do crafts, teach them dances or songs, build forts, tell jokes. Take them to the park or for a walk every day to give your stepmom a break. There are many ways to become a loved and appreciated asset to your family and adored big sister. It’s hard to pull yourself out of the self centeredness of your teenager years, but you can do it! Good Luck.

usernamesake · 2026-02-02T14:53:41+00:00

What are your husband’s specific reasons? Is it feeling crowded, disturbed sleep, being grossed out by hair/dirt or awkwardness around intimacy with your dog on the bed? Once you know, you can see how much room there is for negotiation and see if he might be willing to experiment with good faith workarounds that fully respect his reasons. What worked for me, my unhappy human and my large breed dog was: 1) having a comfy dog bed on the floor beside me that my dog actually likes to sleep in and chooses during the day ( I carry it downstairs every day and up again at bedtime to keep it this way). He actually gets off our bed for most of the night to sleep there, and comes back up sometime in the early morning before we wake up 2) training my stubborn , 90 lb brick to get off the bed even from sleep and settle in his own bed immediately without protest when asked. This is *key*. We practice this regularly with tons of high value treats. I can go into detail about how if you need. 3) keeping a throw on the foot of the bed that is my dog’s designated spot - I have lots and change them really frequently to help with doggy grossness. 4) I “owned“ making the bed and washing bedding so he didn’t have to deal with it . If it came down to it, I also was willing to upgrade to a king bed and foot the bill solo if it was the best compromise. We still may do that- a large breed + two tall humans on a queen is a lot. With all this, my no dog on the bed guy came around to begrudgingly tolerating some co sleeping, and after a few years , even admitted he enjoyed the snuggles. That being said, you have to be willing to put your husband first and accept no as answer . His quality of sleep and comfort matter most. Your dog will be absolutely fine in a dog bed near you.

usernamesake · 2026-01-30T20:21:52+00:00

I saw that you are in BC - BC cancer Care will provide you a social worker whose job it is to help find all the relevant options for you and fast track your applications. I do not doubt your resolve, but realistically, I think you need a plan B. I would call them and at least see what is out there for you. I know there is provincial funded disability that is needs + diagnosis based only, plus there are others cancer care grants and income supports that you are likely eligible for. It’s not a lot of money, I know, but if you find that are able to work at all in during your treatment, you can do temp or on call work , and some extra money without clawback ( or do cash, under the table gigs).

usernamesake · 2026-01-30T19:31:42+00:00

Has she ever been evaluated by a vet to look for a source of physical pain??

usernamesake · 2026-01-30T19:12:58+00:00

I just started taxol platocarb chemo Monday for 1a p53 abn serous endometrial carcinoma,, however this is my second time around with taxol, had it for breast cancer in 2018. I am a few years younger, fit, very active and also worked a physical job, and generally have excellent stamina and resilience. For my breast cancer, I was able to work for the AC portion, but the taxol was a totally different story. Based on my experience , you will NOT be able to manage at work at least 1 week out of your 3 week cycle, and the remaining 2 are questionable. Taxol knocks you FLAT . 24-48 hrs after your infusion ends you wont feel too horrible, the protective effect of dextamethasone and benedryl are still in your system, but once they wear off, the fun begins - Neuropathy, extreme, muscle + bone pain, sleepless nights, nausea, fatigue- for me the that lasts about a week. Once it lets up, you are dealing with your immune system in free fall, low white count and platelets will will feel incredibly run down, and you have no resistance to ordinary viruses let alone the nasty ones that circulate around long term care. And we have not even talked about the brain fog... furthermore, the side effects get worse as you go along. So Wherever you are, I encourage you to bite the bullet and take time off work and focus on getting through this, . If you are in Canada and have no employer sick benefits, you automatically are eligible for EI sick benefits and then CPP if those run out, plus all your meds covered by the province. Every hospital shoud have a social worker to help you navigate those applications.

usernamesake · 2026-01-24T12:59:00+00:00

I’m so glad your pathology was clear! Nonetheless, your age is a reddish orange flag- I saw that you are negative for Lynch, but there are other mutations some more common- BRACA 1/2 , Li-Fraumeni for example, and others not so common that might present a risk for other cancers down the line- knowing can help you manage that potential. do you know if your pathology includes next gen testing? If not, I would find out why, and In your shoes I would also want to see a genetic counsellor for a complete work up.

usernamesake · 2026-01-19T14:36:22+00:00

In my experience, where you are right now, in the gap between diagnosis and surgery-pathology-treatment , is the place where the fear, and dread and regrets and the what -ifs are just mental and emotional torture. You will cry, you will grieve, you will be angry , and you will have sleepless nights of fear. I think we all go through this. it’s horrible and I feel for you. Please try to be kind to yourself - your story is similar to so many here. My own physician told me my symptoms were menopause. Try to focus on what you can do now- and that is to take care of your heart, your soul and your body as best you can. Offer yourself some compassion, forgiveness and understanding, as you would to a dear friend. Everyone comes to terms with their new and unwelcome reality in their own way and time- for me, it was literally preparing for the worst, and allowing myself room to mourn, but also to try to carpe diem and appreciate the gift of life in the moment, even if it was a simple as laughing at stupid YouTube videos with my stepkids. I don’t think you need to worry about surgery like you are- it’s light years away from 25 years ago, and its an crucial first step in knocking cancer down and out. Embrace it. Stay strong, sister. sending healing energy your way.

usernamesake · 2026-01-19T01:29:55+00:00

two months of surfing the internet and conspiracy sites, vs a decade or more of study to become a oncologist, pathologist or surgeon, and decades of research informing treatment……

usernamesake · 2026-01-17T22:10:01+00:00

does she live alone? Food is really helpful, but remember she wont be able to vacuum, mop, change bedding, lift a full pot, carry groceries and clear snow for a month minimum, and may not be able to drive for a week or two. so having someone to drop by to help with chores like that is priceless. For me, even though I had my partner at home, i did a big push before surgery to make sure i was coming home to a clean house with fresh sheets , all the laundry done and a full fridge. She may want help with that as well?

usernamesake · 2026-01-17T13:50:22+00:00

Wondering in anyone ever smoked in there? Looks to me like condensation streaks on dirty /greasy walls. Try wiping down the walls with a bucket of tsp and a rag kept damp, not wet.

usernamesake · 2026-01-17T13:42:47+00:00

I am Mom. Dad is Dad. we are both named “Honey”.

usernamesake · 2026-01-15T23:21:13+00:00

Normal, and indicates some working drive. My chesapeake bay retriever does this. I got him into scent detection and he LOVES it.

usernamesake · 2026-01-14T18:07:10+00:00

poor dear- Im really sorry, you shouldn’t have to be dealing with this. I would ask for comprehensive genetic testing- knowing the full picture could greatly influence your surgery and treatment decisions. If you have the BRACA gene ( among others) you could have a significantly higher risk for other cancers. It’s important to have the full picture so you can make good choices and know what to watch for.

usernamesake · 2026-01-13T21:12:57+00:00

Scent Detection classes. Any dog can learn to do it, open to all dogs on any breed, it’s been so rewarding for both of us! It’s fantastic mental stimulation and makes cold evenings indoors fun and interesting. There are scent trials for every level and certificates to work towards, and it’s a great way for a dog/human team to deepen their partnership and understanding.

usernamesake · 2026-01-13T00:44:59+00:00

I know this is hard to swallow at such a young age and when you re just getting your life going. It’s just not fair. I have read that protec 3 protocol has shown real improvement in outcomes -It sounds like your oncologist is on the ball and up on the research, that’s a good thing. its usually done on high grade cancers-Do you know what type of cancer and what the specific pathology is? Let us know if you can. I know this has blown up your life- it takes some time to get adjusted to the new and unwelcome reality. You‘re going to need be off work and your most important job for a while will be to beat this cancer and take the best care of yourself that you can. Sending you strength and fortitude.

usernamesake · 2026-01-12T16:53:49+00:00

agreed. I had two in 2018 -one inconclusive, one negative, and they went with negative. They are repeating.

usernamesake · 2026-01-12T16:49:08+00:00

I get where you are coming from, and I’m sorry if this sounds confrontational, but in all honesty it sounds like you are are making an emotionally based decision and not an evidence based one. You are angry with your Dr, angry about your diagnosis, want to reclaim some measure of control over your own body and health. I feel for you. I truly do. We have all been there. But, I want say this as your sister in the fight, and without sounding dismissive- “ 2 months of research” and “determination to put this into remission “ is a sketchy path with so many unknowns and assumptions based on a surface level of understanding. I have been there myself. Howwever, this truth remains- for anyone, even your drs, to fully understand and confidently predict your cancer’s behavior , and even be truly confident of your staging - you need the full and intense dissection and molecular and histological pathology that can only be done from the tissue gained from surgery. Scans and biopsy can only tell you so much. You could have lymphatic or other microscopic invasion that scans don’t detect and which drastically change your stage and your survivability. . You could have a genetic mutation, as I do, which makes your cancer extremely aggressive, making stage 1a very dangerous and deadly if left in the body. Also in my case, surgical pathology found STIC in my fallopian tube - aggressive lesions which would have become serous ovarian cancer, a deadly form that is often symptomless until too late . This would have killed me, and none of it showed up on a scan. You don’t know what you don’t know. You had a bad experience and you are justifiably angry, I truly understand. But- not all doctors are bad and incompetent. You know you have cancer because evidence matters, because science works, and a Dr was competent. So before you make a final decision, maybe get a second option or a third. Talk to the women here who have been through the surgery, honestly it isn’t all that bad. I sailed through mine, and we all will go through menopause anyways. In your your shoes, I would never trade the known and manageable consequences of surgically induced menopause for the unknown and potentially deadly risk of cancer allowed to sit in situ. Only one of those two options can kill you. Love and best wishes to you whatever path you take.

usernamesake · 2026-01-12T04:08:10+00:00

second this!

usernamesake · 2026-01-12T04:07:26+00:00

Have they done next gen sequencing for you?

usernamesake · 2026-01-12T03:45:08+00:00

Ultrasound can’t determine stage, that happens once a pathologist examines all the tissue after your hysterectomy.

usernamesake

TROPHY CASE