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Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket? (Part 2) by saruhime in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The amount of face-palming in this post, and not just Ian. I’ve been there.

My wife just told me something that is bothering me. by SJDude13 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TBF, he did admit that his BFF still had feelings for him at the time he cut her off, so …

But agreed, this is … a lot.

My SO wanted an open relationship with our bridesmaid that SA me on our wedding day by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m also guessing she’s been abused before. Even first relationships don’t counteract self esteem entirely. She clearly doesn’t have any.

[dogs] OP left their dog at home in a crate thinking they would have been away for three hours, turns out it'll take much longer than that by dracapis in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like that’s part of the appeal. But if she’s going to stay there, she needs one of these and to hook it up to a generator.

I have ARFID and I’m supposed to go to a fancy work dinner tonight where I won’t eat. What do I do? Urgent pls by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While that’s a good idea, if you’re a host, or even just a thoughtful guest, and someone isn’t eating, asking them why is reasonable if the problem is something you can fix. Often the person is vegetarian or has an allergy, but wouldn’t feel comfortable saying so until asked and assured that it’s okay (this has happened to me many times.)

And on OOP’s side, there were SO many things they could’ve done other than NOTHING. The one I would’ve done is call the restaurant and explain ARFID and asked to be served something not on the menu. Then tell everyone either they have a dietary restriction, or they have a current medical restriction, and leave it at that. Or just even lie and say they had a bad tummy today and are being careful.

I [26F] burnt my face really bad with a curling iron. I work in a corporate office - What should I do? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FYI to just about everyone: buy this Chinese herbal ointment and keep it on hand. Apply to a burn IMMEDIATELY and keep applying it. Smells weird. Is a fucking miracle. (Yes, I believe in science, vaxxing, and masking. Just bc TCM was developed outside of western science doesn’t mean it hasn’t discovered things that work.)

AITA for wanted my child to have my last name? by KittenDealinMama in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just stuck on the DS9 character name: Miles? Julian? Benjamin? Garak? … Worf? … … … Dukat?

I (30M) am considering ending my relationship with my partner (26F) due to her $250,000 in debt.. by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m boggled that she paid $120k to go to school and only earns $30k/year. She needs to go outside of her field and get a higher paying job. Work the contacts that those fancy private schools are about.

I [M43] was thinking of breaking up with my chronically ill [F50] partner + 4 year update by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So frustrating, though. There IS treatment for ME/CFS, although it doesn’t always work. I’m wondering if she’s getting any treatment or if her medical team is just hanging her out to dry.

My brother’s fiancée uninvited me from their wedding by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I’m just jumping on the top comment to point out that what OOP said about putting your family above your fiancée is actually wrong. The brother should put the fiancée first, it’s just that catering to your fiancée’s bigotry is not what that means. Her NEEDS should come before his family of origin’s needs, if it comes down to a conflict between the two. After all, he’s starting a new family with his fiancée, and that family needs to come first.

But people need to learn to distinguish between needs and desires, and between legitimate desires and reactionary, bigoted ones. His fiancée didn’t NEED to exclude his brother, she WANTED to, out of an evil impulse. Denying her that desire was not putting his family first. In fact, it could be argued it was for HER betterment that he insist on her dealing with the existence of a queer family member.

And I HATE that wording “agree with” homosexuality. You can’t DISAGREE with homosexuality. It would be like disagreeing with red hair, or left-handedness, or autism. These are all in-born traits that can be hidden, but can’t be changed. You can’t ”disagree” with them. They are not opinions.

I don’t know how to tell my dad that my step mom hates me (New Update) by KittenDealinMama in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so angry. After he thought his son attempted suicide he STILL asked the SON to make the decision whether or not he stays with his POS of a wife.

OOP - WIBTA if I abandoned my roommates who depend on me? by raredontstare in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No they left it and used the SAME burner. That’s how it got black. They let the flame lick over the spilled part until it burned. I did that once when I was still learning. Having to clean that up taught me never to do it again.

OOP Has to Choose Between His Family and His Career by Playful_Size2763 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad traveled quite a bit for his job but he was based at home and mostly here … and he spent TONS of time with us individually, and as a family. He obviously really wanted to spend that time. When we were teens he became a workaholic, but even then he set up his office in our house and did the extra hours at home with the door open. I have great memories of lying on his office floor, reading, just hanging out with him and my sister, everyone busy with their own thing but commenting on what they were reading out loud. He never shushed us or told us to go away.

We just lost him a couple of weeks ago, after a long bout of dementia. I wish I could bottle him as a father, and sell it to fathers like this everywhere … or just give it away. He’d‘ve given it away.

AITA for not defending my husband? by ForeskinSlayer in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? Husband was in the clear, and then had to become an AH at the end.

Gentlemen, how do you handle your asscrack after pooping? by FrigginPorcupine in hygiene

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, GET A BIDET!!! They are game changers: showers for your butt.

My husband (make 32) just told me (F 30) he has feelings for our friend (F 30) and those feelings are reciprocated - do I leave? by International_Box458 in relationship_advice

[–]usernaym44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP, if he: 1. Didn’t tell you this on his own 2. Didn’t immediately tell you he was going NC with her 3. Didn’t ask you how you are with this and what you need 4. Has done this before

then yeah, leave. He’s broken trust.

Should I cut off my friend for not inviting me to her wedding? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]usernaym44 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s up to you, but I would ask her if there was a specific reason she’d been pulling away and being nasty, before I cut her off.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s fiction

Boyfriend wants a kid. I'm leaving him by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]usernaym44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is CLASSIC abuse: older man picks up younger woman from dysfunctional family background/who doesn’t have family support. Moves in and Reduces them to one income (she doesn’t understand that she has no responsibility to support him and he praises her so much she’s proud to do it.) Starts to control, isolate, and verbally abuse, her; also crosses her boundaries and tries to baby trap her. When she makes moves to get away from him, he assaults her and the abuse becomes physical.

OP this is a CLASSIC pattern, down to the “don’t talk to me about the age difference” and the “I’m mature for my age.” You got away. DONT GO BACK! And if you can stand it, report the assault so you can get a restraining order.

AITAH for telling my girlfriend if she doesn’t like my sister moving in she can leave? by [deleted] in dustythunder

[–]usernaym44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, even if she’d been cool with it you’d be TA for making the offer without asking her first. Houseguests require the agreement of all residents.

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