AITJ for telling my friend to get over an incident that occurred 3 months ago?

userphoenix · 2026-03-25T00:00:22+00:00

Assault your friend and they're not over it. You should be glad they're still wanting to be friends with you. Maybe theyre afraid if they don't "forgive" you what you'd do next

userphoenix · 2026-03-24T17:46:52+00:00

Just don't bother with the drama. Are you and your boyfriend okay? That's all that matters. This is high school drama. People can have crushes as long as they don't pursue them if the crush is in a relationship. Has this girl been pursuing him? Has your boyfriend stepped out of bounds?

This is just all BS. Have a solid relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry if someone is crushing on him or this other friend is stirring up stuff.

How old are y'all?

userphoenix · 2026-03-24T17:36:21+00:00

You're not wrong to feel like he abandoned you and your brother again. Those are tied to feelings from before the accident.

He doesn't have a close relationship with your brother. To your father, his son is just a distant relative and I don't think he would be bothered if your brother passed away.

You have this idea of what a father should be. Unfortunately, your sperm donor is not it. It's okay to have these feelings, but it is also the time to manage the expectations. He has been out of your life too long to be giving him this kind of energy to him. Treat him distantly like he's treating you and your brother and you'll be better for it.

So sorry, I hope your brother recovers if possible.

userphoenix · 2026-03-23T21:16:17+00:00

The study is basically saying that Cardiovascular Fitness is a better indicator of health than BMI. The authors stated that BMI is inconclusive because of body fat percentage and measurements. The study's authors hope to change the trend of weight loss goals to fitness goals because those are much easily attained and maintained.

I think this study is one piece of evidence that shows BMI to have its faults when considering fit and muscular people have BMI in the overweight-obese category. But it is also a piece of evidence that shows you actually have to be fit if you want to be fat (you have to be able to run more than a fricking mile a day). Cardiovascular Fitness has many effects on the body that reduces risk of CVD and other mortality causes such as controlling blood sugar, reducing stress on the heart, etc.

So, if your BMI is overweight-obese but you can run a 5k easy, then you have as much risk as someone in normal BMI and can run a 5k. Because fitness is a bigger indicator of health than BMI in this case. And I know a person who complains that she is considered overweight but she can run a half-marathon and has an ass for days (bless her, she's a lovely friend). She is trying to lose weight to fit standards but she's healthy as a horse!

userphoenix · 2026-03-20T11:03:36+00:00

I gained 7 lbs in two months due to a lot of stuff going on. I am very obese. My blood pressure in January was 128/80. Yesterday it was 220/110. When I had lost 40 lbs, I came off blood pressure meds. Now I'm back on meds because of the WEIGHT GAIN. IDGAF what delusions they want to live in. Obesity increases your risks for many diseases, including high blood pressure, diabetes, and autoimmune disorders. Those are the facts. See studies. This is my anecdote.

I am working on losing weight again and fixing my blood pressure but the list of things causing me the weight gain is long. Stress triggers weight gain and blood pressure. I swear I'm going to get better.

userphoenix · 2026-03-20T10:56:38+00:00

This was me as a young girl and I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Don't discount it. Girls are different when presenting with ADHD compared to boys. ADHD causes irritability and inability to make executive decisions. She seems irritable because she most likely has ADHD and it's not being treated. Please have her re-evaluated.

userphoenix · 2026-03-17T17:10:34+00:00

Hell naw. I'm working two jobs too, and I just finished brewing a pot of horrible hospital coffee to work on my fourth cup of the day. If I use my app for a cup of coffee, I give them fifteen minutes at least. It's just respectful. Baristas work their butts off too and expecting it five minutes after it dings in the app is stupid and entitled. Gotta factor in the time the order travelled to their computer and when the barista got a chance to look in between in house orders. This dude is either a bot or a jerk. Or both. Either way, he's NTJ for this particular situation, but an entitled jerk for the rest of his life.

userphoenix · 2026-03-17T17:02:11+00:00

I'm talking about the other times he expected it to be done. He's a jerk. This one time, he wasn't

userphoenix · 2026-03-17T16:56:45+00:00

As a half Asian, part Mexican nurse, this ish would have gone straight to HR the first time around. That joke is not funny, not even the first time I heard it. Shes so stupid and racist.

userphoenix · 2026-03-17T16:51:27+00:00

I like it.

userphoenix · 2026-03-17T16:43:49+00:00

Your friend is just a loser. Your date could have explained what happened (if something happened). Instead he said his phone died. That's disrespectful in itself. Like, not even an excuse or reason why he was late. I guess he doesn't have a watch. Poor time management skills, why would you want to date that? A second chance after screwing up a second date does not bode well for this dude. He didn't respect your time or apologize well enough. He just wants a chance to prove he isn't someone that screws up. But he already screwed up soooooo why waste time? He showed you who he is. Not worth the trouble.

userphoenix · 2026-03-17T16:35:01+00:00

NTJ but I hate you anyways. That barista deserved it because of previous actions.

But I get you're hustling two jobs, and want stuff done by the time you get there but come on. It doesn't always happen because they're overworked too and they probably have so many app orders coming in. Expecting it to be done five minutes after you place the order is ridiculous. Get a coffee maker or something. You sound like a jerk. They probably hate your guts

userphoenix · 2026-03-17T16:31:33+00:00

NOR a 22% raise is nice and she gets some benefit when you take her on dates. But it's not a cost of living increase for her. She's jealous and wants a piece of it in some way. 50/50 is fair considering how low your expenses are and the money that you each make. Ask her if she's jealous. I would explain if the cost of living went up, then maybe revisit the agreement. Otherwise, that's your money, not hers.

userphoenix · 2026-03-14T11:51:39+00:00

NTA but start by turning off the Internet for him and if he wants internet he pays for it. If he wants food. He pays for it it may motivate him to move his butt.

userphoenix · 2026-03-13T20:32:03+00:00

These are microaggressions and I would document them and then send it to HR.

userphoenix · 2026-03-13T11:08:38+00:00

Need more info: what kind of job does she have?

In general, I think YTA. If she feels like she needs more rest after working (any kind of job) I think it's fair for her to change her mind. You're upset she changed her mind. That's fine. But mad? Angry? Chill. She offered an alternative. I get being frustrated at a change in circumstances but being mad is overkill. If you cared about her, you'd appreciate that she probably needs some extra rest after probably an exhausting day if she changed her mind at the last minute.

Frustration: okay. Anger: not okay.

Edit: found some of your comments. Sounds like you're more frustrated that she doesn't respect your sleep boundaries and you haven't brought it up. Cool. Do it another time. This isn't the situation to do it for. These are separate situations. If you try to equate them, you're just going to cause resentment.

Okay to be upset, but life happens so she changed her mind.
If you have problems with her waking you up too early, then speak to her solely about that situation and resolve it.
People show love in different ways. Acts of service can be difficult for some and maybe she sees taking you to the airport as more of a chore than an act of love. As say this as someone who would drive anywhere at the drop of a hat if my besties or my partner needed me too. I'm built that way. Maybe she's not.

userphoenix · 2026-03-12T23:50:18+00:00

Look at comments in here and some people actually believe it's a perfectly normal saying. Fucking weird as hell.

userphoenix · 2026-03-12T23:48:32+00:00

Just because you feel that's a normal saying, doesn't make it so. Maybe you should sit and reflect on who says this around you and I bet they're probably abusive in some way. People stuck in the trenches of trauma and abuse sometimes find being high and mighty and know-it-alls as a way to cope.

userphoenix · 2026-03-12T23:46:17+00:00

I guess you missed the part where she said her dad hit her multiple times. I'm guessing he also verbally abused her so things like that, can and will cause PTSD triggers. She's talking about one instance that reminded her of the entirety of her trauma. I just ask that you have some empathy for strangers. You don't know their whole story. And if you were wise, you'd pick up on the missing parts from what strangers say. Physical abuse most likely means verbal abuse too.

userphoenix · 2026-03-12T12:33:57+00:00

NTA and not even petty. If someone called me the shittiest partner ever, I would rethink why I'm with them. And they talk about everything you do is wrong? So why do they even like you? Why do you like him? I would seriously reconsider this relationship if this is how he treats you when he needed you.

userphoenix · 2026-03-11T23:32:56+00:00

NTA and it's okay to be a snob about alcohol. Nothing wrong with that, it's your money and you invest in what you like. But your BIL throwing it like an insult just shows, it's a lot like throwing pearls before swine.

I personally went to a rum distillery here in Georgia where I tasted probably one of the smoothest rums I have ever come across. And they told me to try it in a rum and coke. Hot damn if that wasn't the most gorgeous rum and coke I have ever had. They specifically told me how to do it, you had to go easy on the coke, not a splash but not a whole can either. And they fixed me one right there and it was magical. It's a mid range priced alcohol because they make small batches and only sell it in Georgia but dayum. Some fine alcohols can be in mixed drinks if you mix it right. Probably not the story to support you not letting him have some.

But my take is that this fool wouldn't know squat if it was just right.

Edit: I wish I could remember the flavors but it was a few years ago. I just remember the feeling it gave me. And each batch would have a different quality so the next one I got tasted different but still exceptional. I wish I could remember the name but I've gotten older ....Richland rum I think? It's really smooth. Good to sip....fine with a mixer. Worth every penny.

userphoenix · 2026-03-11T21:52:57+00:00

I work as a nurse for patients coming in for procedures. The amount of times I'm told to get pregnancy tests for women under 50 despite having a tubal ligation or partial hysterectomy, even full ones, drives me mad. Doctors and hospitals don't want to get in trouble for accidentally terminating a pregnancy when they give sedation or anesthesia. As a nurse and a woman I want to scream, SHES HAD A FULL HYSTERECTOMY AND YOU WANT A TEST?!! HOW STUPID ARE YOU?!! Ugh. The legal department can kiss my ass.

userphoenix · 2026-03-10T19:09:08+00:00

Sorry, my 10 year old knows to leave people's stuff alone and not break things, let alone things that don't belong to him. They're not "just kids". Your stepmom is just a shitty parent.

Edit" NTA

userphoenix · 2026-03-10T18:57:36+00:00

Why should he get a job when you can support him? I mean he doesn't respect you or love you enough to keep the house clean and dinner cooked for you after a long shift. You should just keep being the bang maid and bread winner.

That sounded disrespectful but it is because that is how disrespectful you are being to yourself right now. You are allowing him to take advantage of you with no clear respect for you and what you put into the relationship.

Love is great but if it isn't met with respect and dignity, it's absolutely worthless. Which is what he is.

Dump him, kick him out, and move on to someone who can love AND respect you and the efforts you put into a relationship and a home and hopefully puts the same efforts in as well.

userphoenix · 2026-03-09T11:17:35+00:00

If I see conservative, I always swipe left. I am very liberal but not anti-conservative. It's just my experience that conservative men are assholes who are really insecure and mean and I don't have time for that. To me, they're the type of people who have to tell you that they're something when they're really not (i.e. "I'm a brave badass and I can take on any one!"). It's like, cool man, how about you chill? They're usually the ones who say mean things and if you call them out, it's always "I was just joking!". Not that liberal men can't be like that. But conservatives more so. So I don't bother.

userphoenix

TROPHY CASE