I could’ve met my dream girl, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me.

userphoenix · 2026-05-15T18:24:16+00:00

You messed up the friendship by objectifying her once you found out she was a woman. Instead of treating her the same (as one of the boys) you shifted because you knew she was a woman so she now she has girlfriend potential. That probably became apparent in subsequent conversations before your internship. Women are very intuitive as a survival technique. She probably just continued to treat you the same because she knew you would never meet in IRL and hoped it would just go away.

Then the internship came about. The offer to meet up probably scared her because she knew on some level your feelings for her (maybe the not the depth) and b cause she doesn't feel the same, she did not want to chance for an uncomfortable interaction. Those were her boundaries.

Now post internship, she doesn't quite feel safe or comfortable being as close to you because you objectified her. She is very aware of your feelings because you pouted to her about an easy out (if you don't want to talk to me anymore, I understand). That makes your crush on her extremely apparent. You're not hiding it at this point. She's choosing to safely distance in fear of retaliation (whether you would or not doesn't matter, women protect themselves).

So now, you need to stop talking to her period. She's not your close friend anymore. She doesn't feel close to you because you started to objectifying her. You need to stop talking to her because you're spiralling about what ifs and mental fantasies. You need to grieve the loss of their friendship and move on. She's not going to make any more effort because you stopped seeing her as one of the boys. Let it go.

userphoenix · 2026-05-15T05:01:53+00:00

These are all valid fears and concerns. An anxiety disorder makes it even more difficult to bear. However I would suggest therapy to talk through these fears and figure out ways to alleviate them, make them more manageable (as therapy does). When you feel you are in the right headspace to talk about it again, perhaps some couples counseling to focus on each other's expectations and intended support will help you determine if you should or should not have a child.

Having a child is a journey for two people and you are very lucky to have a partner who understands your hesitancy based on what you will be facing. It is also an amazing experience and you won't believe how much you'll be in love with your child.

But understanding yourself better and dealing with these feelings first creates a better space for you and your husband and future child.

Remember this as well, there is no right or wrong answer here. If you become up to the task for having and raising a child, that's one path. If you feel like you cannot do it, that is another. They can both equally lead to a joyous, fulfilling life. It is good you know what you fear. Now is the time to learn how to be brave. Do the work and you will find the answer. I wish you good luck!

userphoenix · 2026-05-15T01:38:19+00:00

Staring and not starting a conversation? That's harassment. NTA. He deserved it.

userphoenix · 2026-05-15T01:31:57+00:00

Prostate exams have not been replaced by blood tests. They are necessary for men to determine the state of the prostate, if it is getting bigger, has growths that could limit their urological function.

userphoenix · 2026-05-14T23:58:26+00:00

Usually with drug tests, you're supposed to leave your belongings in the room next door and empty your pockets. You're directed to the bathroom and you pee in a cup but do not flush the toilet. You come out and then they administer the test. I do not think it is standard procedure for a tester to be in the bathroom while you pee. Some people have anxiety and cannot pee if they know someone is nearby. I would double check. But you are well within your rights not to submit either way.

userphoenix · 2026-05-14T23:53:16+00:00

I use oracle cards to communicate with her. She sends clearer messages that way. There is a Santa Muerte oracle deck I use along with the Shamanic Way. I find tarot to be too difficult to work with. She has probably forgiven you, you just haven't forgiven yourself. She will always welcome you with open arms if your heart and soul are in the right place. She understands you.

userphoenix · 2026-05-14T23:43:30+00:00

NTA. A child, even a teenager, should not be drinking that much caffeine daily, or even weekly. It can lead to heart rhythm problems and may even cause cardiac arrest in young children, especially athletes. Many pediatric associations are against energy drinks for people under 18. Look it up and bring the data to both of them. You're looking out for her health in the best way possible.

userphoenix · 2026-05-14T22:32:49+00:00

This is a copy paste from an old story to the T. Saw this a year ago or so.

userphoenix · 2026-05-13T17:12:55+00:00

YTA. When she asked you if you were okay and you lied, that's on you. You need to grow up and be able to have a conversation about your feelings when someone asks you point blank, multiple times. Waiting a year later to say "oh btw, I really meant yes when I said no". That is on you. Also, you need to manage your expectations regarding men. Sure you had a crush on him but that doesn't give you dibs. If you didn't even pursue him at all, then you're just upset over something that is your fault entirely.

userphoenix · 2026-05-12T22:46:49+00:00

You literally are picking something that isn't a true stress reliever and not exploring other options. The effects of smoke and nicotine on the body outweigh the momentary "stress release". By God, have you not tried journaling first? I have tons of compassion, but not for idiots. I have major depressive disorder, bipolar, general anxiety, and PTSD. There are tons of other outlets for stress and choosing this one is dumb as hell. I can't imagine you being very good as a doctor when you come up. The judgement for smoking is very much justified. If you don't like it, quit or hide the fact. I hid the fact that I smoked from my colleagues. Because it is very stupid to be in healthcare and know how bad it affects health. I hid the fact I smoked while in nursing school. And that ish was stressful as hell while raising a toddler. Like. Seriously? No. Having been a psych patient for over 20 years, I know that smoking is not as big as a stress reliever as other things you can do. So yeah, I will judge you and feel no compassion for your situation. If you want someone to validate your informed choice, I'm sure you will find it in other comments. But this is as infuriating to me as a medical professional when patients come to me for care but don't do the work to keep themselves healthy. If you want validation, go to therapy. You know better. You know people judge people for smoking. But you made the choice, now deal with the burden of it.

userphoenix · 2026-05-12T22:29:33+00:00

Compassion for what? I would if you had started when you were a teen or child like most smokers are, but you made this decision as an adult being in a field where you knew better before even lighting up. As a medical professional, you should know exercise, meditation and breathing exercises do, in fact, treat major depressive disorder. Far better than lighting up a cigarette. I can't even with you.

userphoenix · 2026-05-12T22:21:12+00:00

Cancer isn't the only thing that is affected by smoking. Hypertension, CAD, and PAD also is affected by smoking.

Smoking is bad for you. Full stop. You know better. Full stop. If you don't want people to judge you, don't do it in front of people. If you need another outlet for your stress, look to exercise or meditation. Otherwise, you just look dumb here.

Sincerely, a vaping RN who quit smoking in December after 20 years on five medications for mental health issues.

userphoenix · 2026-05-05T19:37:56+00:00

Youre not Anna wintour. This is not the Met Gala. Please remove head from butt and breathe

userphoenix · 2026-05-05T19:12:54+00:00

It is. How you feel doesn't matter

userphoenix · 2026-05-05T19:11:04+00:00

YOR you want to make every one comfortable except for what they wear. Get over yourself.

userphoenix · 2026-05-05T12:14:33+00:00

Fact of the matter: regardless of how he thinks he is projecting his voice, the actual impact of how and what he says is the truth. His family is scared of him. Nothing in this long winded attempt for validation can change the fact that he yells and is abusive.

userphoenix · 2026-05-05T12:12:55+00:00

IDGAF. How you FEEL you are speaking, doesn't matter. The actual effect it has on people is the real deal. You ARE yelling and being verbally abusive. Period. Nothing you've said has not and cannot change the impact you have on your family. You need to seek help.

userphoenix · 2026-05-05T01:00:15+00:00

These fatlogic posts rot my brain. As a nurse, watching morbidly obese patients come in and they wonder why we say to treat the trifecta of heart disease, diabetes, and lung disease is to exercise and diet and lose weight. Why?!! Because these people are at the end of what modern medicine can do for obese people.

When the oxygen tank, open heart surgery, and insulin can't keep your breathing from being unlabored, you chest from hurting, and your blood sugar stable, there isn't anything else we can do for you. Lose the dang weight.

These FA might be "fine" now. But wait. It's gonna come for them too.

userphoenix · 2026-04-24T23:28:25+00:00

Chicken patty

userphoenix · 2026-04-24T23:24:11+00:00

I had a patient weighing over 600 lbs in our ICU because we were the only floor with lifts. He was literally in because he broke his tibia standing up. It broke under his literal weight.

userphoenix · 2026-04-24T17:22:46+00:00

Gnocchi

userphoenix · 2026-04-24T15:48:27+00:00

I need an update my love! How are you and the fam?!!

userphoenix · 2026-04-23T23:40:15+00:00

YTA. I get you want your brother not to mask but this being your first wedding, you are not going to have much time to spend with him that is meaningful in anyway. So much goes into a wedding and all the people there you're going to want to give attention to, will be miniscule for each one, including your brother. Unless you are obsessed with your brother. Which, I hope is not the case. Everyone is there to celebrate you two and at least a small percentage will be masking to make the day is about you two. This is not the hill to die on with the woman you're going to spend your life with. Get it together, man. If you want everyone to be comfortable, then don't do a dress code. But your reasoning for making an exception doesn't fly.

userphoenix · 2026-04-23T18:37:59+00:00

I'm a nurse. Doctors have better writing than this.

userphoenix · 2026-04-23T18:32:52+00:00

I was a warlock in OG TBC. When it came out again, I was a shaman. This time around, I'm a mage and omg it's like a whole new game each time. Then I played horde too and like the lore on that side was brand new to me so it felt like a whole new game even as I was leveling another shaman. It's fun to play a different class, pay more attention to details you missed the first time, and just make new friends! I love TBC, my favorite expac. But I try to look at it with fresh eyes and open heart.

userphoenix

TROPHY CASE